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30 Things Mothers Should Tell Their Sons About Women And Relationships

Updated on January 11, 2013
Male and Female Signs
Male and Female Signs | Source

Mother Knows Best?

Fathers are usually the obvious choice when it comes to talking to sons about dating and puberty but for the inside scoop on what women are really like and what they want; mom is always the best resource.

Women can be an enigma to say the least and mom can give the inside track on the complexities of the opposite sex.

  • What does a woman mean when she says that?
  • Why does this bother her so much?
  • Why is she so mad at me?
  • She says everything is “fine” but she seems irritated, what’s going on?

These are just a few of the many questions that will arise between the time when boys begin dating and when men decide to make a lifelong commitment.

These issues may come up a few times during a marriage as well.

30 Things Moms Can Teach Their Sons About The Amazing And Perplexing Female:

Listen
Listen | Source

When Dating It Is Important To Know;

  1. What you see is not always what you get, women have many different sides and it takes time to see them all
  2. Don’t co-sign for a loan/obligation or put someone else’s purchase in your name
  3. Do not lend money
  4. If you are with someone who expects you to provide her with a lot of material things, be aware!
  5. Don’t attempt to make up for previous boyfriends mistakes
  6. Do not carry baggage from a previous relationship into a new one

Communicate
Communicate | Source
Support
Support | Source

It’s ALWAYS Important To Know And Remember;

7. Women are much more emotional than men, don’t condemn her or make her feel silly for feeling things or reacting to things differently than you do

8. Always open the door or pull out a chair for her when you have the opportunity, chivalry isn’t dead

9. Offer a woman of any age your seat when there are no other seats available

10. Don’t feel as though you always need to fix her problems, sometimes she just needs compassion and a soft place to fall

11. NEVER put your hands on a woman in anger or frustration

12. Never stay with a woman who puts her hands on you in anger or frustration. The fact that males are physically stronger than most females does not give a woman license to hit you, ever.

13. Never curse at a woman nor allow her to curse at you

14. Name calling by either person will breed insecurities and tear at the basic foundation of even the strongest relationship. Anger is no excuse or justification.

15. Men and woman view intimacy differently, take the time to get to know your partner

16. Women are much more verbal than men; learn to be a good listener

17. Always make time to play and laugh with her

18. Genuinely compliment her on a regular basis, make sure she knows what you love and admire about her

19. Be honorable. Say what you mean, mean what you say

20. Be honest, tactfully

21. Discuss your views about having children, finances, sex and religion open and honestly. You both deserve to know exactly where the other person stands on important issues.

22. Always remember that women aren’t helpless

23. The right woman will support your dreams and aspirations, not try to change them or distract you from them

24. Be proud of her accomplishments, they aren’t a threat to you or your roll in the relationship

25. Set your own personal boundaries and stick to them

26. Respect her personal boundaries even when they differ from yours

27. Women greatly value feeling safe; physically, emotionally and financially

28. Don’t insult her or air her insecurities, even if you’re joking around

29. If you love her, tell her often in as many ways possible! If you don’t love her, don’t say it

30. If your woman is secure in your relationship and your feelings for her, she will return that love and support with all of her heart. Let her know you need her.

Hard Work But Totally Worth It!

There are few things as powerful and uplifting as the love and devotion of the right woman!

That being said, there are few things as devastating and hurtful as the betrayal and manipulation from the wrong woman.

The process of learning about the opposite sex can be confusing and scary for both men and women. I’m not certain if anyone ever really figures it out completely.

The path to discovery is a necessary one that we all must travel so why not get a little help along the way? Listen to advice when it comes from a place of love and good intentions, it just may make your journey a little smoother.

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    • Robie Benve profile image

      Robie Benve 4 years ago from Ohio

      All true things, and many of them men learn the hard way, though some will never learn. I must give credit to my mother in law, because my hubby seems to be on the "know side". .. I better start talking more about these things with my son, it may truly change his life. :)

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 4 years ago from Washington

      Robie, my son's were definitely my inspiration here. I have two older daughters and being a former young girl myself, I know exactly how wonderful (and not so wonderful) we can be. ;) Now that my boys are starting to see girls in a different light, I must admit I'm a little worried.

    • KathyH profile image

      KathyH 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Excellent advice, number 23 is especially meaningful. If she doesn't support you in your achievements or in your future career, something is definitely wrong. (Based on personal experience!) Men should also support women in their achievements and neither should feel they are "above" the other. I always told my son that a wife or future wife should be in the relationship as a partner. So many times that is forgotten, it is a partnership if it is to last. :) Great hub! Voted up and more! :)

    • Nettlemere profile image

      Nettlemere 4 years ago from Burnley, Lancashire, UK

      Your lads are going to have lucky girlfriends Roxanne if they have taken all your great recommendations on board.

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 4 years ago from Washington

      KathyH, you are so right! Thank you for your input, it only enhanced the message! :)

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 4 years ago from Washington

      As always, I truly appreciate your comments and kind words Nettlemere! Thank you

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      roxanne.....Wonderful! Have you written this hub in response to a recent question of a similar nature which appeared recently?...or is this just a coincidence?

      In any event, I do recall responding to the question, on the lines of what a Mom should tell her sons about women..(have patience with my memory).....All done "raising" years ago, as well as handing my sons care & maintenance over to "other women".....I did do my best to educate them on the intracacies of the female persuasion.

      Much of my advice to them was a lot of what you have suggested in this great, very well-written hub. I like to believe I did well. If I can take any credit at all, for the fabulous relationships/marriages they have with lovely women, I'm happy. If not, nothing we teach our children, ever goes to waste. Just like a solid education!....UP+++

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 4 years ago from Washington

      fpherj48, I think the question you are referring to was mine. :) Your sons and their wives are very lucky that you were the one guiding them and teaching them when they were growing! What a tremendous blessing it must be to know that your kids are in happy, healthy relationships and they have someone who treats them like they deserve to be treated in return. My kids aren't married yet (2 aren't anywhere near old enough), but my hope for them is that they find someone wonderful to share their lives with as yours have done! Thank you!!

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      roxanne...I'll share with you what I've come to believe. If energetic, involved, loving mothers, as I will take the liberty of suggesting WE are, just do the very best that they can in raising, guiding, loving and educating their children....with this hard work, a little luck, some GRACE & pure intentions....we should see very GOOD results...In the people our children become.

      After that, roxanne, when they take the reins of their own lives, as individual adults, we can hope and keep the old fingers crossed, that they take it all with them, build on what they have and keep going in the right direction.

      There is not another thing we can do, in terms of "raising." That part is over and although we are "always there" for them.....we dare not hover over them or step in any longer, except when asked...and even THEN, very cautiously......because WE can't save them from their own mistakes, nor should we want to. We would be preventing them from some of the most important lessons in life.

      Believe me, I am clearly aware of how very lucky and blessed I am...that all of my sons, chose ...the most outstanding women, to be their partners in life. ( My youngest had the longest struggle, but finally succeeded)

      I honestly don't think I had all that much to do with THIS, in particular.....but getting back to my first few statements......What "other" type of woman, would a man with a strong sense of love, responsibility and morality, choose?

      I did what I knew how to...making tons of mistakes, but ALWAYS with love and determination. 4 other sets of parents, quite obviously did the same with their daughters......and there's the connection......

      I never take anything for granted. I am grateful and humble every day of my life.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      Lots of young men can use this wisdom in building great relationships. I also agree that men need to be aware of how a woman can manipulate a relationship. You have done a great job of pointing this out.

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 4 years ago from Washington

      fpherj48, as always you are an inspiration to me and many others I suspect. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experiences with me! I feel like I grow a little every time I read anything with your name attached to it! :)

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 4 years ago from Washington

      Thank you teaches12345! Your opinion matters a great deal and I appreciate it greatly!

    • adjkp25 profile image

      David 4 years ago from Northern California

      I had little advice from my mom when I started dating. I don't know if it was some kind of uncomfortableness or what but it just didn't happen.

      I will say that my wife and I do struggle getting our teenage son to understand certain things about females (he still doesn't understand why he has to open doors for them) but we will keep reminding him anyway!

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 4 years ago from Washington

      adjkp25, I don't remember very many heart to heart talks between my mom and my brothers regarding women either. When I look at my growing boys and think about all the female turmoil in their future, I couldn't help myself. :)

    • samowhamo profile image

      samowhamo 4 years ago

      Very interesting article. I think the same should go for women and girls about dating men and boys too they should both be carefull not to offend each other and to get off on a good start. My parents never talk a lot about dating with me but then again for a long time I was never really interested in it (except my imaginary girlriends hahaha I have aspergers syndrome so I kind of live in a fantasy world).

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 4 years ago from Washington

      samowhamo, you are absolutely right! These points are easily trasferable to girls in relationships as well. I wrote this with my sons in mind but, I wrote a similar one for my girls as well. :) My oldest son has Asperger's also and I'm not sure when his interest in girls will deepen but I want to prepare him the best I can. Thank you for your imput!

    • C.V.Rajan profile image

      Disillusioned 4 years ago from Kerala, India

      Interesting. Practical and sound tips.

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 4 years ago from Washington

      Thank you C.V.Rajan! :)

    • mayodmv profile image

      Jose Matalo 4 years ago from Philippines

      I totally agree with this. Although chivalry isn't dead, it is slowly diminishing nowadays. It should be restored by real men!

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 4 years ago from Washington

      Thank you mayodmv, It's never too late to revive it! :)

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      You've done your job well with this hub. Maybe we can have it printed up and hand it out to all young men as they begin dating! Common sense, compassion and a touch of understanding go a long way. My boys have always possessed those traits and I hope theirs will too! I agree Roxanne, its never too late to revive chivalry!

      Voted up, useful, and very interesting.

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 4 years ago from Washington

      Thank you tillsontitan! Your boys are lucky and I'm sure they will pass their wisdom right along. My (soon to be) young men will hopefully listen and practice the same qualities when they start dating. :)

    • profile image

      Aman sharma 4 years ago from India

      thanks for the reply i think this is practical and interesting

    • Esther  Strong profile image

      Esther Strong 4 years ago from UK

      It's tempting for mothers to leave this side of things to fathers but input from both side is no doubt invaluable. And I imagine it's never too late too offer such advice as even if they have already found their solemate men still need to keep these things in mind.

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 4 years ago from Washington

      We all need gentle reminders now and then I'm afraid. :) You are so right, it's never too late!

    • VVanNess profile image

      Victoria Van Ness 4 years ago from Prescott Valley

      I'm so glad that you took the time to also tell him not to let a woman mistreat him or take advantage of him. There are so many more aggressive women for all of the up and coming weaker men our country is creating.

      More and more we are seeing relationships where men are being mistreated, because it's expected or considered normal. It's definitely not! Just as women deserve respect, so also do men. If you can't do this for each other or are not happy, it's much easier to walk away and save both people the pain and heartache; allowing them to find someone who they CAN be happy with.

      Thank you!

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 4 years ago from Washington

      VVanNess, I couldn't agree with you more if I tried! Men are frequently positioned as the brunt of jokes and depicted as incompetent morons who aren't smart enough to dress themselves without a woman's help. We see it on sitcoms, movies and most frequently in commercials. There is no way anything even remotely similar would be aired if they were attacking women that way! I'm afraid that it has given both women and men the message that a fundamental disrespect and abuse is acceptable and normal. It really is outrageous and shouldn't be tolerated!

    • pmorries profile image

      pmorries 3 years ago from Golden, CO

      I love your Hubs, but I was a little nervous about this one. I believe that it would only be natural to be a little biased when writing about his topic ( after all, in my humble opinion, girls are no more angels than boys); however, your hub was fair and balanced. In fact, I will encourage my 17 year old son to read this hub (which is the highest compliment I could give).

    • roxanne459 profile image
      Author

      Roxanne Lewis 3 years ago from Washington

      pmorries, being a mother of two boys myself, I truly understand what a great compliment that is and I deeply appreciate it! My boys are beginning to show an interest in girls and I began to get nervous because I saw the turmoil my brothers (I have 4) went through in attempting to understand and relate to the opposite gender. I am proud to be a woman and I support women's strengths but my-oh-my... we can be a handful when we chose to! I hope this helps my boys and others. Respect others but certainly don't forget to stand up for yourself as well! :)

    • SatendraSaini profile image

      Satendra Saini 3 years ago from India

      I think it is the best way to solve so many tough situations. So thanks for this hub.

    • mosaicman profile image

      mosaicman 2 years ago from Tampa Bay, Fl

      These are all things I had to learn the hard way! I do not think I would have listened or understood many of the points if my parents would have told me before I got married. These points however, are dead on about women.

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