A Clothes Rippin', Hair Pullin' Throw Down?
That's Just Scratching An Itch!
This is liable to go anywhere so watch out. The subject is people, usually of the opposite sex, relationships, cultivating a relationship and some times having to try to give it a decent burial that is often not possible due to the personalities of the people involved, their upbringing and their values.
Remember when you first met? Do you remember how you first met? Crazy questions I know but this is going somewhere so hang on tight. Ideally there was a mental connection that was established first, rather than a physical one. Now that this isn’t to say that a mutual physical attraction isn’t nice to have and important. But what lies beneath the surface seems to have more importance as I grow older and wiser. Being The Frog Prince, I am appreciative of “eye candy.” There is nothing like having a nice looking babe riding behind me on my Big Iron Horse. But I can ride alone just as well.
The "mental connection" is what I believe is important. It better be. I call it the "click" and not the click of the lock on the bedroom door. It’s nice to have a clothes ripping, hair pulling throw down in the bedroom, the kitchen, on the dining room table or wherever flips your switch but then what? I like that action just like many people do. There is life after lust though. Minds, and compatibility of the minds, beats the heck out of anything I have ever experienced. It has always been quite phenomenal when I connect with the other person’s thoughts and feelings rather than just at our hips.
I have also fallen into the trap before, not very recently I’ll tell you, and the eye candy routine wasn't worth the grief. Being 60 years old now, I’ll warn you younger studs and studesses off that gig. It isn’t enough, not by any means. What are you going to talk about after you exit the boudoir? You just going to sit there and eye each others candy? How sickeningly sweet of the two of you.
Have you ever experienced knowing someone you have never met? I use an expression a bit here and there and it goes like this, “You know what you know when you know it.” That’s part of life to me and has been for years. It centers around instinct, but it also involves having trust in other people. After a couple of bad experiences many people just shut that door. I believe that is a big mistake. It’s a mind thing put in simpler terms. The sad thing is that in reality there are few people that “you just know what you know…” Even sadder is when you blow off that feeling. I have before and I often wonder what could have been if, and only if, I had listened to what my soul was telling me. I won’t go there this time as that is intensely personal and not something I divulge too often to anyone.
I’m not exactly “Dear Abby.” I‘m far off of that mark. But when it comes down to it, I know what has to now be paramount in establishing any relationship. First, you have to begin as friends and get to know what the other person feels and thinks. Is there that mental connection? In other words, the lines of communication have to be wide open and no hiding anything important behind the curtain for later. That’s the mental connection. If it isn’t there then my “Dear Abby” advice is, “Keep on moving until you find it.” If it’s there but if you ignore it then you might need a kick in the rear and a howdy do to boot.
Yes, a clothes rippin', hair pullin' throw down can be quite nice. But then what? There is more to life and relationships than just getting your cookies off. Just some words of wisdom from a wise, old bull frog.
Here's a head scratcher. Is it possible to find another who loves you for who you are rather than who they want you to be? I'm just askin...
I'm hoping, not hopping but hoping, for some thought provoking comments here.