- Gender and Relationships»
- Weddings & Wedding Planning
A Wedding Remembered but Not Money Encumbered
"Here comes the bride, all dressed in white, here comes the bills starting us up an insurmountable hill"
Have you ever been to a wedding where those words could be sung and you would not doubt it at all. I have been at some weddings with edible center pieces, fancy smancy chocolate fountains, ice sculptures that just melt and expensive glitz and glamour that you almost forget where your at and what those two people up front are doing. What would you want your wedding remembered for chocolate covered grapes and an expensive pool of water or there are two people who are in love, becoming husband and wife?
I was privileged June 5,1993 to marry a country girl who was quiet, shy, absolutely beautiful, and not blessed with an overflowing bank account from a parent or herself. This country girl married a man who was loud, immature (a little), could make a statue his friend, has a personality plus, and not blessed with an overflowing bank account from a parent or himself. Nothing against the parents here, they raised us well and we are proud to have them as our parents, they just were blessed the same way we were. When we agreed that we were going to share the rest of our lives together we knew the wedding would mainly need to be covered by we the people. Ladies and Gentlemen notice the "we" connotation begins after the agreed to term of "yes I will". Team of two begins then, so thus our journey began.
First thing I started to do to help out the "we" part was take care of the tuxedos. I watched the advertisements for the grooms tux free special with two other tux rentals. The special came around and I jumped on it. My groomsmen were great friends and they paid for their own rental thus allowing me a free rental. Oh that white tuxedo began me down a memorable path, especially when I had my dad and my groomsmen meet for the fitting and the tux shop was closed. Duh, check your hours don't waste gas. We did get to go out to eat and then went to a driving range where we laughed until our mid sections complained. Sorry serious golfers that were there I am sure we messed up your follow through.
Secondly, my wife to be, shopped around for her wedding dress and found a local dress shop that seemed to be so service oriented that you couldn't help but to buy from them. Those wedding dresses in the catalog are stunning but those local dress shops are there to help you as well as make a living, not take your money with fake interest and a fake smile. My country gal was able to get a beautiful dress, trane , and ruffles for around $300.00. My wife to be also enjoyed sewing, so instead of running out and spending a whole bunch of money on dresses, she went with her bridesmaids, purchased material, had the pattern and everyone seemed to enjoy making their own fabulous dresses.
Thirdly, family and friends come in to play here because if they agree with the choice you are making they are eager to help. The local church you should be going to usually does not charge for the use of their facility so start attending a church for you, first, then the wedding ceremony. The Pastor deserves to be paid, but usually they are not overly eager to accept it. Come up with an amount and ask if that is enough you will be pleasantly surprised but do not be a cheapskate they are trying to set you up for the rest of your life.
Somewhere in your circle of family and friends there are people that belong to clubs. A golf club, a social club, or a private club. They usually can get you an awesome price on a hall rental from the place where they are a member. This is also where people know people. We had a couple of family members who knew a photographer figure out easily what their wedding gift was, the gift that never grows old, pictures that for us produce marvelous memories!!!
Now for the food. We are both very blessed in our families to have country master chefs. They do not need a culinary school or a professional kitchen at there disposal, they are just great just like they are. We supplied the ingredients for what we wanted and family wanted to help. Add those two ingredients together and you have an awesome meal with plenty for everybody and some to take on your honeymoon.
A family member who was a baker also offered to give us their wedding gift, the cake, so we were able to save money there too, which to her we are ever grateful. The cake was scrumptious and fat free,(all the fat you wanted for free).
Keep in mind here we did not go begging for all of this help and support. It was offered to my wife and I out of pure love and we accepted the help and support with pure gratitude.
Here are just a few ideas from a guys point of view but it was all good, I think we figured our entire wedding including the dress came to around $500.00. I realize that was 19 years ago and some prices have risen drastically since then. Now days $500 may be considered more of a Vegas style wedding, but some of the ideas will still work all you have to do is to explore your options. Make yourself stay to an amount you can afford comfortably . If you can afford the ice sculptures and chocolate fountains go for it but know that that amount agreed to is enough. If you can't afford those fancy things don't think of your wedding as a failure or not as good as so and so's. Remember the wedding isn't how much money you put in to it it is how much you put your heart into it. Five years after the "I do's the wedding really isn't going to matter anyways but the heart still will.