How To Start Over When You've Been Deceived
Have you ever been deceived by the man you love or someone you trusted?
Many trusting women end up with broken hearts because they continually choose traits that are merely familiar, not healthy.
If all you've ever known were men with broken pasts, chances are, you'll continue the pattern of choosing the same type over and over. Until you learn to break the pattern of bad choices, you'll continue to make the same mistakes and end up getting hurt again.
Wouldn't you like to experience a normal, healthy relationship where you don't have to guess the next move he or she will make? It's time to look inside yourself and find out why.
How Can You Change The Unhealthy Patterns?
Close your eyes for a moment and ask yourself, "What do I get out of this relationship that makes me happy?" Think about your response closely. Is it fulfillment? Is it lasting security? If your answer is "...he makes me feel [blank] or [blank]", you may be associating with the feel-good emotions, instead of the healthy, solid traits.
So what are the healthy solid traits? Compatibility, compassion for others, responsibility for self. Trust-worthiness is the most important. Do you ignore the inconsistencies in his stories, the little white lies? This is a warning sign. You've got to re-train yourself to STOP and go no further in the relationship when these things become evident. The longer you go, the harder it will be to break from the relationship.
Links to Suggested Readings:
- Relationship Advice: How To Get Over A Player
How many times do you find yourself wondering why you fell for another player? You are not alone! Learn healthy skills for identifying familiar traits as potential lifesaving signals.
- How To Investigate Your Online Relationship
Is online dating really safe? How do you know the person you're talking to is for real? A guide for recognizing potential danger.
- Ten Questions To Ask Yourself If You're In A Bad Rel...
Are you in a relationship that doesn't feel quite right? Learn to protect yourself by watching for the warning signs!
A Woman Who Was deceived
I'd like to share something with you. These are the words of a woman who had the same unhealthy patterns of attaching herself to abandoning, decieving men. Once she saw the truth in herself and accepted, acknowledged, and owned it, she was able to allow herself to gain control and re-train herself to search for healthy traits in men.
Seeing truth, Coming out of deception.
A feeling of regret, humiliation, sadness.
Two sides in the mind, Opposing magnets;
One pulls toward the deception
That seemed real. The other toward truth
Which was stark and painful.
Deception was a fantasy based on subliminal manipulation.
Truth became known after inaction. The sudden realization
That craftiness made the fantasy a sham
Hit like a wave of heat. The heart recalls excitement.
The mind longs for lost passion that was actually False trickery.
The senses yearn for a touch That never came.
Logic ruled in the face of knowledge. Now open eyes and truth are one.
Help For Recognizing Bad Relationships
Below, you will find links to several sites that offer help for getting over bad relationships, healing from deception, and learning better association traits to help you distinguish the 'healthy' from the 'unhealthy' traits.
Remember, you are your own best friend. You dont' need another person to make you whole. You are whole on your own. Love yourself.
Check these links for help and suggestions:
- It's the deception behind the action. Why men deceive, why did mine? | Love + Sex - Yahoo! Shine
From the blog Love + Sex: Yahoo! Shine
- 40 Things Every Woman Must Know About Men, Love, Sex and Relationships (article) by Gillis Triplet
Most women learn about men, love, sex and relationships the hard way. They walk down the highly traveled, worn out path of emotional scars, broken hearts, abuse, confusion, anger and sleepless nights. When it comes to learning the hard way, you can g
- What you need to know....
If you are interested in dealing with a broken heart, there are a number of issues you should be aware of.
- The Goals and Purpose of Deception
The Encyclopedia of the Self: describing and defining the goals and purpose of Deception. On-line Classical Literature Library - 1285 Books - 471 Authors.