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Are You Suspicious of Who You Meet Online?
Online Dating Guide
With so many people forming online relationships, it is hard to exclude the possibility of finding a suitable partner without considering the option of online dating. But is it safe? What kind of risk is involved? Is it anymore risky than meeting someone new at work or at church? Consider these ideas.
1. Is the potential interest portraying themselves accurately?
Think about the possibility that the individual who you are corresponding with may not be who they say they are. Look for clues to test their honesty. Watch for 'lying by omission', meaning not telling the whole facts. If it is a conversation about something that would normally be important for a person to want to reveal to a potential love interest, yet you end up getting partial or vague answers, you may want to count it as a yellow warning light.
Do you know where the person is employed? If they are not willing to reveal much or give open ended answers, it could be something to be alarmed about. Another thing to consider is to listen closely when the individual talks about past professions or employers. It may be a key to noticing job gaps and inconsistence, which will allow you to consider if there is stability in their job.
2. Does the person reveal specific information about themselves?
Is he or she revealing only generic data about themselves; or is the person giving you detailed information after you get to know them? Of course, it is not wise to "tell all" at the beginning of the correspondence, but after a reasonable amount of time has passed and you still do not know personal information like where the person was born, where they work, or what kind of car they drive (for instance), then you might want to look at the possibility of another yellow warning signal,
3. Does the potential love interest possibly have other relationships going on at the same time?
If you notice that he or she is consistently telling you they will call you back later then not following up, this plainly reveals that the individual is not reliable. If the person seems unavailable at times when he/she was previously spending time chatting or talking to you, you may want to consider the possibility there is something else going on somewhere. You might think about asking the person point blank why they are not able to reached as easily as they were before.
Goog Tips For Investigating
- How to Investigate Your Prospective Boyfriend -- New York Magazine
How to investigate your prospective boyfriend. On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog or a cad,an ax murderer or plumper than you look in the picture. How do you investigate someone else? Here's some tips from Anna Breslaw, New York News.
Consider Investigating Further
If you have suspicions about the person you are interested in, I suggest the following:
!!! Enter their email address into a Google or Bing search engine and see what comes up. You will not believe what the search engines can do to satisfy your curiosity. It can take you to other sites or forums where the person has previously posted or direct you to other dating sites he or she has been too. This, in turn, can lead you into a deeper investigation of the credibilty of the person. Try entering only the user name of the individual's email. For example, the email is firstname.lastname@example.org. (not a real address). Enter only imascumbag into the search engine. Sometimes a person will sign up for a site using the user name of their email. Try it!
!!! Google the individual's name. Naturally, this is a good choice. Plus, it can pull up 'people finding' sites that could lead you to information about parents and siblings. By doing this, you can compare what they person has told you about their upbringing and family by contrasting to the information you find. This is also helpful in knowing where the individual has lived previously.
!!! Look at the person's friends on Facebook or other sites he or she is on. This, of course, is what most people do automatically. But it could pay off. If you see a 'friend' that looks a bit provocative in their profile avatar, you may want to dig a bit deeper into the 'friend's' information. I know of someone who actually did this and found out the 'friend' of the guy she was talking to was actually a link to an internet porn site!
We Have Only Scratched the Surface...
These are only a few of the ideas you want to consider when entering into online dating and relationships. I think if a person is cautious and attentive, they can catch the early signals to warn them about who they are corresponding with. It never hurts to be too careful, especially with the advancements in communication technology to the plateau it has become today. Just remember, you are the one who who has something to lose. Think carefully and use your logic and common sense "gut feeling". It may save your life.
Other Suggested Reading:
- An Internet Predator Story and The Emotional Price.
Internet stalkers and con artists are plentiful. Read one woman's story of temptation, allure and disgrace as she realizes the deep truth.
- Links to Healing From A Deceptive Relationship
Ever been deceived by the man you love? Look inside the heart of a woman who felt the sting of deception. Instead of falling into a bottomless pit, she opened her eyes to a new beginning.
- Dating In 2012: Tips and Warnings for Online Dating
A guide to online dating and a reminder to learn the early warning signs of deceit.
- Complete Background Checks - National Criminal Background Check
National background checks company. Expert reports include, national criminal record searches, employee background checks, tenant screening, business background checks and due diligence reports. Easy online form and fast turn around.