Art of French Kissing

Kisses… I can remember my first long one so tender, and then becoming passionate and intoxicating. We both came in from running outside barefoot in the rain and I threw a towel at him so he could dry his hair. He started drying my hair instead and then swung it around the back of my head and pulled me in for that first soft, romantic, intoxicating kiss. It took me off guard; yes I have to admit it had me melting into his arms and we ended up kissing all afternoon.

I later found out he was surprised at how good my kisses were and most every guy since has said something similar. But moving on to the next guy I kissed, that kiss was so disappointing that I actually cried afterwards.  I foolishly thought it can only get better.  I wondered how those kisses could be so different.  And I’ve come to the realization that too few guys really understand the art of French kissing.

My ex for example he kissed like a cold fish unless he was drunk that is lol.  They were small pecks, maybe a sweet nose to nose before just a quick lip kiss.  They were sweet and tender but they lacked the passion that I longed for and had remembered from those first kisses.  The only time he let loose a bit and Frenched well was when he had a few too many.  One of the many reasons he’s my ex I guess.  So like Danielle Peck in the song “Finding A Good Man”, I need a good kisser.  So how does one become a good kisser?

I guess the easiest way to start is by telling you the types of French kisses that make me not want to come back for more.  I will call the first one, the lizard kiss cause it reminded me of Mushu in the movie Mulan when he says, “Dragon! I do not do that tongue thing.”  And then he sticks out his tongue to demonstrate.  Ok guys I do not want to lizard kiss with a flick of the tongues outside and between both of our mouths.

Another kiss that doesn’t work for me is the shoving your tongue as far down my throat as you can. This is not passion, it’s a form of domination and I do not want a sore throat in the morning because you couldn’t control your tongue.  First thing that went through my mind when it first happened to me, was all this guy can think of is where else he wants my mouth, he’s not thinking of my comfort zone here.

The slobbery kiss is not sexy either. Too much can ruin a make out session, whether that is coming from your tongue or whiskers the effect is the same I do not want to have to dry off my face when I’m done. So please do not lick around the outside of my lips or close to my nose.

The last French kiss technique that doesn’t work, is the around the world in 80 seconds.  If all the partner is going to do is swirl their tongue around and around your mouth, that doesn’t cut it. It’s not sensual or romantic so if that’s all the better it’s going to get, you may eventually get the kiss off.

Ok now for the kisses that can melt a woman down to her toes. I like the way Kevin Costner describes kisses in Bull Durham, “I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.” Doesn’t that make you say “WOW, he gets it.” And I also need to mention that Isabelle Snow gets it in her hub How To French Kiss. But I’d like to add a bit more. She is right a good kisser knows how to tease first and build up the anticipation to the kiss before the tongues even touch. And I agree with her that once you start frenching with your tongues, there needs to be some down time between when you withdraw the tongues for a bit and just kiss with the lips or some tender tugging with your teeth on their lips. I would also add that a gentle sucking of their lips into yours is fun too.

Ok let me describe those kisses that make me melt… LONG, oh definitely, hours long, preferably. If you have it in your head how many kisses is it going to take before I get to the good stuff, then stop right there. Do you know how many women have listened to Lady Antebellum’s song Just A Kiss or how many guys have sent that youtube to a girl wanting her to think of him? Giving her the best kisses of her life is your goal here, ones she will long for in the middle of the night. Think of kissing as an art, you need to take it SLOW and keep it varied from playful and teasing to sensual. Not only can you tease with your lips but tease with your tongue too. EXPLORE and PLAY with that gentle give and take, pull hers into your mouth, and let her suck yours into hers. You can explore sensually without reaching for her tonsils, just remember to let her take the lead too. And yes the kisses can be SOFT and wet and TENDER and as you are touching each others face or playing with their hair, build up to URGENT and demanding. But then, pause, go back to teasing kisses of just barely touching her lips or take a breath and kiss an eyelid or nibble on her ear.  And if you’re anxious to hear that melting, soft moan, now might be the opportunity to give the back of her neck a few soft kisses. Be patient with those breathers, wait it out a bit. You will know if you are starting to master the art of French kissing if she pulls you back for more kisses, the kind you can never get enough of, the ones that make you weak in the knees and have you melting into their arms because you want them to continue for three days like Costner described and sometimes even for the rest of your life.

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