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Attention Men: Chivalry is Not Dead

Updated on February 6, 2013

Chivalry is Important

I am an independent woman. I own my own home, my own car, have a job, pay my bills etc. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself in most situations.

With that being said, I must say that those things do not mean that when I go out on a date with a man, I don't want to be treated like a lady.

I went on a date with a guy last week. We met for drinks at a bar in a downtown area. I had to park about a block and a half a way, and I walked to the bar where I met my date. We spent a few hours at the bar, chatting, having a drink, getting to know each other. We had a nice time and we had a lot in common. I didn't really feel a lot of chemistry on the date, but sometimes that grows, and regardless it was pleasant conversation. I thought he was a pretty cool guy.

It was getting late, so we decided to call it a night. We walked out of the bar together. He told me that he was parked down the street in the parking lot (about a half block closer to the bar than my car), and I told him where I was parked. We started walking in the direction of the cars, continuing the pleasant conversation. When we got to the entrance of the parking lot, he said good night, went to his car, and I continued to walk to my car. It was about 11 o'clock at night.

This guy immediately lost any chances of another date. Maybe he didn't feel any chemistry either, I don't know, but I don't even think that matters. Any decent guy should walk his date to her car at 11 o'clock at night, or at least offer. I don't care if he had a horrible time on the date or if he fell in love with the girl. It is the decent, chivalrous thing to do!

How to be chivalrous

Some men think that chivalry is buying a few dozen roses and treating a girl to an expensive restuarant with a fancy bottle of wine. This is not true. Chivarly has nothing to do with money. Chivalry is a way to show respect for a lady. The following are some of the easiest things that a man can do on a date to show that he is chivalrous and that he is respectful of women:

1. Open all doors for your date (yes, even the car door!)

2. Pull her chair out for her at the restaurant or bar

3. Help her take her coat off

4. Walk closer to the street

5. Walk her to her car or door after the date

These are simple simple little things. They are so easy to do, but unfortunately many men don't feel the need to do them anymore. Many women have helped create this problem, with the whole "I can open my own door" attitude. This attitude is stupid. A man isn't opening the door for you because he doesn't think you can do it. He is opening it because he is being a gentleman! Don't yell at men for being gentlemen!

My advice to the men, if you are on a date with an ultra-feminist who doesn't want you to be a gentleman, please don't think that most women are the same. Most women want a gentleman, but settle for less because they don't think that those types of men exist anymore. And to the ladies who want a gentleman, stop settling for less. You deserve to be respected and to be treated like a lady.


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    • profile image

      Pancho 3 years ago

      Yes, Chivalry Is Dead! Want To Blame Someone, Blame The Femenist's!!!! They're The Reason Why!!!! END OF STORY!!!!

    • Elani-Lee profile image

      Elani-Lee 5 years ago from Los Angeles

      Thanks Emilybee...I agree. I try to hold doors open for people, it is the courteous thing to do. I think people have lost common courtesy as well as an understanding of what chivalry is.

    • emilybee profile image

      emilybee 5 years ago

      I hear ya! It's few and far between these days to find men who actually hold doors open for women. If I was a guy, I'm sure I would do this- considering I'm female and do these things. My dad has held basically every door in my entire life for me, my mom and every other human being. But in the real world it's becoming more rare. I seem to get doors slammed in my face more than held for me. Great hub, compiled quite nicely. Voted up.

    • Elani-Lee profile image

      Elani-Lee 5 years ago from Los Angeles

      Thank you Jason. I appreciate your comment. I don't mind your shameless plug, I enjoyed reading your hub, but I will comment on it there.

      I wish I could tell the men to buy a clue, but as most women are ok with the lack of chivalry there is no incentive for men to display it.

    • Jason R. Manning profile image

      Jason R. Manning 5 years ago from Sacramento, California

      Yes…please tell all those metro-sexual males to go buy a clue. Acting as equals doesn’t mean a dude starts treating a lady like a dude. There are plenty of women who would be offended by what you’ve said, and some guys retreat from acting appropriately, nevertheless, men need to act like men and do the right thing. Nice hub. You might like what I wrote about this topic in “my fair maiden” piece. Forgive me for posting a shameless plug. Cheers.