ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Relationship Problems & Advice

Should You Always Trust Your Friend's Advice When it Comes to Your Relationship

Updated on November 24, 2015
Relationship Picture
Relationship Picture | Source

If you are in need of Relationship Advice, be extremely cautious! Just be careful of the people you turn to. This article I am about to present to you is not based solely on opinion; rather, I am merely sharing with you, some of the things I have witnessed, and stories I have heard from friends and acquaintances.

I recently mentioned in one of my hubs, that relationships can be very stressful -- However, most of the times, the couples involved in these stressful relationships are unconsciously competing in a tug-a-war game. In other words, Instead of pulling together in one direction, they are pulling against each other.

Whether a common law relationship, or a marriage relationship, it always takes two people to start an argument. Although It has been said, it takes two people to start a conversation, but it only takes one to end it, for the sake of this article, I am going to say "it should take only these two people to end it!" Today, I am particularly interested in providing the ladies with a few words of advice! Gentlemen, I will address you some other time.

One of the worst or common mistakes a woman could ever make, is to constantly allow friends to dictate to her as to how she should go about solving problems she might be having in her relationship.Too often female friends who might have had bad experiences in their past relationships, fail to give other girlfriends advices based on logical thinking, but rather on strong negative emotions. There are others who are just jealous of their girlfriends, and would do anything to have them joining their lonely and miserable world. It could also be that they would like these men for themselves!

Instead of offering rational advices, the first thing these "so-called friends" are telling their lady friends who come crying to them, "leave this man, he is no good." You see, they are not interested in listening to both sides of the story! Whether their girlfriends are wrong, right, or responsible for the problems --- that's not important!

The mission is to destroy those girlfriends' relationships! Many of these girls ended up taking these selfish and cunning advices, and the next thing you know, a few months later these same advisers are seen with some of these ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends strolling happily together, hand in hand at the shopping mall, restaurant, or in the movie theater. The other sad side to this is that, when these poor ladies sometimes find out that they were deceived by these so-called friends, it might be too late to repair the damages!

Ladies, you and your partners should go and talk to someone neutral, not a friend who is single or has a poor relationship history. Talk to a professional marriage councilor or a relationship councilor, a pastor, or a reputable person who is not related to you or your significant others in any way.


My dad had once said to me that there are three sides to a story(My side, Your side, and the truth). Based on this, I believe that only the individuals that are in a relationship know exactly who or what is responsible for a problem they are currently experiencing. Very seldom an outsider knows all there is to know about the root of an ongoing problem in another person's relationship.

Thus, it's going to be rather difficult for a genuine or an unbiased outsider to help you solved your relationship problem(s) unless you are both willing to spill the truth. Better yet, If you really love each other, you should be willing to sit down and talk. It might not be easy in all cases, but you should both make all the effort to resolve your differences, instead of constantly looking to friends for relationship advice.

Relying on friends to help you solve your problem(s), not only exposes your privacy, but can also destroy your relationship, causing you to lose the one and only person who really loves and cares for you. Always try to be open minded - remember us humans are very unpredictable. Also, the things you might consider unacceptable, others may find them totally acceptable, and vice-verse.

Copyright(c)2009 I.W.McFarlane


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • mackyi profile image

      I.W. McFarlane 4 years ago from Philadelphia

      Amen to these words my friend "God enemies I can handle on my own." It's sad - let's not blind our eyes to the truth, people are just plain selfish and deceitful that you don't even know who to trust anymore. I have seen so-called friends betraying people who are supposed to be their friends so many times!

    • ThePyratez Kydd profile image

      Francis Gachoka Mwangi 4 years ago from Nairobi

      an eye opener indeed; that's why it's often said that, 'God protect me from my friends, my enemies I can handle on my own!'

    • mackyi profile image

      I.W. McFarlane 4 years ago from Philadelphia

      Thanks for stopping by Livingtwentyfirst, I see you got the message! It's hard to trust everyone and anyone. People have to earn your trust. It's sad but in these days and ages, the more stories I hear, along with some of the things I personally see happen, I am convinced that your best friend can be your worst enemy, and your worst enemy can be your best friend!

    • Livingtwentyfirst profile image

      Betty Tobiko 4 years ago from Mombasa.

      exceptional.this hub got me really thinking....thanks