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Dating Tips for Online Daters

Updated on May 29, 2020
Stella Kaye profile image

Stella has written a selection of articles on dating and relationship issues that include sound advice for online daters,

When Hearts Collide


Dating Disasters To Avoid

Online dating is a wonderful thing and you could even meet the love of your life whatever your age and situation in life - but be careful. Recognising a potential dating disaster is not always easy. With the rise in popularity of Internet dating it’s often easier for the uninitiated to be scammed or misled. This can apply equally to both sexes. Read between the lines on the profile description of every potential date and be just as discerning as you would be if purchasing a product online. Photos - or even the lack of them - reveal a thousand lies. The following points are some matters for concern:

No Profile Photo

Delete all profiles with no picture from your list of possible matches straight away. These people have something to hide if they aren’t willing to show their faces to the world. They really don’t want people they know to suspect they’re dating and will likely keep you a secret too. It’s amazing how these types will expect you to chat with them even if you have no clue as to what they look like!

Head and Shoulders Photo Only

Likely the person is horrendously huge. People are not always totally honest about their build and it can come as quite a shock if you eventually meet them. The ‘few extra pounds’ they have confessed to on their profile can easily turn out to be a few extra stones. Be prudent when searching profile pictures. Be honest with your own size and age too. No-one need feel out of the running if they are not so young or slim as they once were but if you ever hope to meet anyone you need to be realistic and post pictures of you as you are now.

Is the Picture Recent and Genuine?

People often lie about their age for a variety of reasons or even post a profile photo that is years out of date or not even of themselves. This is something you need to be mindful of. People that only want to chat and may have no intention of meeting will even resort to posting a profile of a model that can be downloaded from just about anywhere on the Internet to get chatting and time wasters like this need to be avoided.

Poor Quality Photos

The picture itself can be a sign of sloppiness such as being totally blurred, taken in poor lighting, with a cluttered background or having other people and pets in the main photo. Sloppy photos are just not acceptable nowadays when everyone has the technology available to produce a great shot. The primary photo should be of the person you are hoping to meet and no-one else. People have even been known to post a picture upside down - no they are not from down under - just sloppy.

The idea of a profile photo is so you can see what your prospective date looks like; this might seem a blatantly obvious statement to make but it’s amazing how many folk wear shades and hats which quite frankly make them appear exactly the same as the next person. If you’re a woman, who prefers men with hair, beware of bald men in bobble hats.

Be wary of complete paradoxes such as the non-smoker who smokes occasionally. Just one misleading statement should serve as an alarm bell for further anomalies.

Immediate Dirty Chat

No sane man would go into a pub and ask an attractive woman their bra size and cup size for fear of a smack in the mouth but behind the computer screen a unique courage emerges. If your prospective date is only after a sexual liaison and nothing more permanent they won’t ask any questions about you and your world and will show no interest whatsoever in any aspect of your personality because they are just after pure unadulterated sexual gratification. Politely tell them that is too shallow and it is not what you’re looking for and move on in the hope of something more fulfilling. There are dating sites that welcome people who want sex without the trappings of a functional relationship and if that is what they want then good luck to them but the feeling has to be mutual. The beauty of the Internet is that it caters for all tastes.

Long Distance Online Relationships

Realistically speaking if there is no reasonable expectation of meeting an online acquaintance in the flesh - what's the point? There are folk who are quite happy with a few fleeting seconds of cyber sex with a voice at the end of a phone or a solo performance on web-cam but unless you live on a research station in Antarctica, this is no substitute for reality with a real flesh and blood person so don’t be inveigled into this type of relationship which will likely never materialise.

Learn From Dating Disasters

It often takes an experienced dater to see through the veneer of a potential online match. There are genuine people out there and with a few common sense strategies in place, you should be able to separate ‘the wheat from the chaff.’

Don’t hesitate in blocking anyone who asks you to part with money or divulge any personal or bank details. There are plenty of online scammers who will rip you off given the opportunity. Above all, heed sensible dating advice and stay safe but don’t be disheartened; if you give up now you could miss out on meeting that dream match next week!

© 2015 Stella Kaye


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