What is Love? Everyone Has a Different Definition
love at first sight? or must one learn how to love
I have been asked many times over the years, how my husband and I get along so well, and if we still love each other. My question right back at the person is this--define the word love.....
I have found the answers so different, and peoples expectations of their relationships so varied that this topic, if it were to cover everyones' definitions, there just would not be enough space to write it all down in one place.
Some feel that love is something you are smitten with, others feel it is achieved over time, and yet others feel it is simply the romance you carry out for one another. I have been told that sex is love, trust is love, and so on.
Here is my definition, and it is something that has held my marriage strong for over 21 yrs. now. Quite possibly all the answers above have a bit of truth, for without trust for example, it is near impossible to have a relationship. Yet, here is my take on it--tolerance.
You see, if you can tolerate someone, for who and what they are, in my book, you love them. People break the rules all the time. There are times when trust must be rebuilt, or romance must be remembered. Still, if you cannot tolerate these things, the relationship sinks. Tolerance, the ability to be able to accept the other person for who they are, and what they do, before changes are made, for change cannot be expected or be thought of as a given. Nothing ever changes but the date, certainly not people, except under exceptionally rare circumstances.
Can you tolerate your mates habits? their irritating ways? and in turn can they tolerate yours? If so, this in my book, is true love. Indeed it is rare, and hard to come by, for you will find that not many people can truly tolerate another, in every way.
Many people mistake being in love, for the love of the idea of being in love. What I mean is, so many people are in love with the idea of marriage, or in love with the fantasies of love. This is sure to fail, for nobody can be what another expects or fantasizes a loving relationship is supposed to be. It is an impossible endeavor.
I think the most popular way to describe it might be unconditional love. Again a dog has unconditional love for his master, so I question that too. Love without the idea that it will be returned to you for any reason. This is a difficult one for me to grasp, for you must be able to know what love is, to know if it is unconditional or not.
People, just be happy, glad, and know that your mate does love you, whether or not it is verbalized, romanticized, or whatever. If you both can get through the day, just tolerating and accepting you for who you are, you have what everyone is looking for, true love.