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Divorces Ending Marriages

Updated on May 9, 2014
Married forever
Married forever
Source

Reality Talk questioned a social issue which each day is in advance; causing negative effect to the worldwide society. I felt like writing my answer with a hub, since I can make my answer, accompanied with other sources to sustain my point.

Reality Talk's questions and my answers:

Why do so many marriages end in divorce? Because divorces are ending marriages.

Why did you divorce your spouse? Immaturity and unfilled expectations on my part.

Why did your spouse divorce you? I let him know that our marriage did not have salvation.

Do you even know? If the desire for divorce was one sided, do you as the divorced spouse believe the divorcing spouse was honest in their reasons for wanting divorce?

We weren't honest in our decision, actually we were very confused. I don't like the idea of anybody else being under a divorce situation if there is doubt. If there are children ... if they have had a personal experience with the Source of love.

The problem is that if, in the future, both agree that the divorce was a mistake and death comes before the real reconciliation; I assure you, since it was my case, that healing is a long unrepairable process.

I thank God that Froggy213 is today in my life, and I wouldn't want that experience again. This is why I am Lastheart. This is why I wanted to answer with a hub, in case I may get the opportunity to make at least one person, making a divorce decision turn back to their marriage commitment..

What is a marriage, and what is a divorce? They are to be identified in some aspects before stating my whole point.

Marriage
Marriage

What is a marriage?

A marriage is a civil institution born of a contract between two people who agree to perform for each other with a series of duties imposed by law concerning their relationship.

Series of duties imposed by law concerning marriage relationship

Regardless of the economic situation, culture or country, spouses are obliged to each other in the following terms:

  • Live together
  • Be faithful to one another
  • Help each other
  • Ward each other
  • Satisfy your needs with each other in proportion to their conditions
  • Decide by agreement where will be the residence

Love vow ceremony

Marriage Responsibilities
Marriage Responsibilities

What is a divorce?

A divorce is the dissolution of a marriage. Such dissolution process may be performed only by complying with the requirements recognized by the system; among which there is one of the circumstances recognized in law as "grounds for divorce".

Grounds for divorce

In Puerto Rico and U.S.A. the causes of divorce are similar. Some individuals think that they can just walk out of the commitment made, but there are certain situations known as grounds for divorce which are not the same in other countries and not so simple to prove, such as:

  • Adultery.
  • Sentence of imprisonment of one spouse for felony (Has exceptions).
  • Habitual drunkenness; excessive or continued use of drugs.
  • Cruelty or severe injuries.
  • Abandonment for a year or more.
  • Constructive abandonment (physical abandonment caused by a sort of emotional neglect and marital neglect by the partner).
  • Perpetual absolute and incurable impotence supervening after marriage.
  • Attempted to corrupt own children or prostituting daughters and living in debauchery or prostitution.
  • Proposal by the husband to prostitute his wife.
  • Separation for a period of over two years without interruption.
  • Incurable insanity.
  • Mutual consent.

Europe highest rate in divorce

Divorces are ending marriages

Excuses are for those that make them. If you want a divorce you can get any excuse and formulate it in a convening way. This is why I say that divorces are ending marriages. It is just too easy to get a divorce.

I have heard such unsustainable excuses, with the best drama ever created. Have you ever heard someone claimed that his wife divorced him because he "worked too much". If a man works too much and abandons his spousal responsibilities...oh, that is a different situation.

People need emotional, spiritual, cultural and modern healing. We need to mature more in marriage issues. We need to go back to basics when divorce was consented by adultery only. We need to start being responsible. We need to stop putting faults on others!

Daily fruits

Fruits of the Spirit
Fruits of the Spirit

Galatians 5:22 - 23

The Bible is my guide...my map to what my Creator, Lord, and Savior wants for me. Despite your faith, I know that by following what is written in Galatians 5: 22 - 23, your marriage as well as other relations will go fine and in peace; just what everybody wants.

We have a Spirit, a Soul and a Physical body that needs to be attended. We get dressed, we eat, sleep and we do all sort of activities in behalf of the care of our Physical body. Our Soul is fulfilled with all the pleasures and desires we try to get from this world. Our Spirit is left aside, thinking perhaps that nobody sees it. How erroneous we are with that thought; by not taking care of it, we get into such a mess.

By not taking care of the Spirit we lose our spouse, our children, our families and friends. We are unhappy, living a dead life.

But the fruit of the Spirit is:

  1. love
  2. joy
  3. peace
  4. patience
  5. kindness
  6. goodness
  7. faithfulness
  8. gentleness
  9. self-control

Divorce is the easy way to escape

It is not easy, neither is it impossible to lift up a marriage! Don't let a divorce poison your life! Don't let a divorce steal away your dreams! Don't let a divorce invade the peace of those around you! Don't let a divorce conquer you!

The first days of a divorce are like a funeral in your heart. I haven't met anybody rejoiced by a divorce. The effects are that the "freedom" gained "enslaves". A divorce doesn't leave anybody permanently happy. It may lead to an artificial escape.

We, the people, have something called dignity that haunts us, when deciding the wrong way, as an escape. Something called "Cause and effect" is real.

Know that you both know
Know that you both know

My best advice

Everybody has something that may annoy, irritate, disturb, or harass. Learn to deal with yourself than with your spouse. A divorce is the very last option to rescue what you want.

Before committing yourself to one another, taking the step of marriage ...be sure both of you know each other well enough to decide that when "bad" moments come along (which they will) the option of "divorce" will not be available. Fight in love for your relation from the very start.


Blessings to all!



© Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill

Fire Proof a recommended movie

© 2013 Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill

Comments

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    • Lastheart profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 

      5 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      Ericdierker thanks for the visit and your time for reading (I guess your children are sleeping). Yes, it is horrible. Human...perfectly Created and imperfect making decisions.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Excellent. I had forgotten all those rules/grounds for divorce. Yikes! They are just horrible. Interesting notion; if we take our marriage lightly we will take divorce lightly.

    • Lastheart profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 

      5 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      Dirty laundry???? ... Lol ...I never mentioned that it was you the snore cause. Good now you have admit it in public, my evidence. A kiss? I gave it to the frog.

    • Froggy213 profile image

      Greg Boudonck 

      5 years ago from Returned to an Isla Del Sol - Puerto Rico Will Rise Strong

      Why are you airing my dirty laundry? No, no divorce for snoring--just a kiss.

    • Lastheart profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 

      5 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      RealityTalk you are welcome and thanks for the great question.

    • RealityTalk profile image

      RealityTalk 

      5 years ago from Planet Earth

      Thanks for the mention. And congrats on a great Hub!

    • Lastheart profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 

      5 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      dashingscorpio your comment is a great contribution to this issue. Thanks so much I really appreciate it.

    • Lastheart profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 

      5 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      billybuc my friend and teacher, thanks!

    • Lastheart profile imageAUTHOR

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 

      5 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      Froggy213 thanks! I am also blessed. Is there a divorce for snoring? Ha ha ha...oppsss...sorry!!!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      5 years ago

      Most states in the U.S. have "No Fault Divorce" which means all one needs to justify a divorce is state "irreconcilable differences". Couples are no longer forced to publically air their dirty laundry or degrade one another.

      I've personally never met anyone who thought "divorce is easy". This is especially true if children are involved or one person faces potential financial hardship. The truth of the matter is (getting married) is far too easy! You only have to be 18 in most states and there are no other requirements. In fact one can get married in a drive through chapel in Las Vegas in less than an hour.

      Everyone is willing to concede that human beings make mistakes with the apparent "exception" of choosing the (wrong person) to marry or getting married for the (wrong reasons). Suddenly we say all marriages can be saved and we insist on teaching them how to fit square pegs into round holes or change water into wine.

      No amount of communication or work can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want.

      When it is all said and done a divorce is nothing more than a public admission that "mistake" was made.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      A brutally honest hub, Maria, and one that needed to be written and needs to be read. I'm very happy for you and Greg, and I send blessings to you both, today and always.

      bill

    • Froggy213 profile image

      Greg Boudonck 

      5 years ago from Returned to an Isla Del Sol - Puerto Rico Will Rise Strong

      Great hub and I am blessed to be married to you.

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