Domestic Violence: Get out because of your children!
Domestic violence! How children are affected
How does domestic violence affect Children?
Some people encourage women to stay with abusve partners because of their children. Some mother’s stay in abusive relationships because they believe it is best for their children to grow up with both parents. The stories below suggest that it is better for children to come from a broken home than to live in one!
One mother said ’ I was so busy dealing with the pain inside me , and protecting myself from the physical abuse, that I did not notice that my daughter had changed! Although she was only 6 when the abuse started, she can still recall several incidents of the abuse she witnessed! The result of this led to her becoming withdrawn and angry. She hardly had any friends at school, she became a target for bullies because she was always on her own. She seemed resentful of the whole world. She did not trust me, or anyone else and was always on the defensive. Then, on her 21st birthday, she dropped a bombshell! She said she had been sexually abused when she was only seven, by a friends son who was about ten at the time! I cried my eyes out! I felt I should have known! If only I had left! If only I had seen through my many tears! I thought I was staying because of her! I damaged my only child by staying!
Another Mum said, I decided to endure the abuse because of my children. I didn’t want them growing up without a father! I did not want to be labelled a single mother. He never hit me in front of them. To them he was the perfect Dad. When they were not there , he kicked me , punched me , shoved me and slapped me regularly! I never told the kids what was happening! Then one day, When my son was 13 and my daughter 8, he tried to strangle me. There i was, gasping for breath and struggling frantically to loosen his grasp. When I finally managed to, I ran out of the house, to a women’s refuge, I slept there , and went back home the following morning hoping to get the kids and leave. To my horror, he’d changed the lock’s!. He told the children he wouldn’t let me in because I had,had an affair! They have both refused to have anything to do with me! I haven’t seen then in the last 2 years!
One nine year old boy tried to kill himself, by taking an overdose . When asked why, he said, It must have been my fault that you got hit., if only I hadn’t been born! I used to stand at the top of the stairs and hear him say, how you were not the woman he'd married , and that you were fat and ugly. If I hadn’t been born, then you wouldn’t have put on weight and he wouldn’t have been so angry at you! This Mum said she hadn’t realised that the boy had heard or seen any of the abuse!.
My children all reacted in different ways said another Mum. The 12 year old began to wet the bed, the 14 year old began to truant and 16 year old became very aggressive! One day he threatened his teacher with a knife! When asked why he did it, he said 'He reminds me of my Dad! i want to kll him!
Every child has a right to live in peace ! Please do not let them suffer more than they already have! Get out before they are scarred for life!
Through the eyes of a child
Can children thrive in an abusive relationship?
Agencies dealing with domestic violence around the world, and other resources
- Domestic violence information « Hot Peach Pages International
searchable list of abuse hotlines, shelters, refuges, crisis centres and women's organizations, by country, plus index of domestic violence resources in over 80 languages
- domestic violence from a survivors perspectve
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