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He Dumped Me with No Reason -- Any Advice?

Updated on August 21, 2012

This question was read on a feed from another network. Seems that a lot of young couples are not really hitting it off as expected. Let's see how can we help with our experience and certain common sense. This is mainly a hub for a young woman that needs some answers now. It can apply to a young fellow, but 'he' will have to decide which part of this article applies to him. Probably she is not going to trust her parents because they saw it coming and wouldn't understand her heart completely; her social network friends either they are not taking her serious, or are minding their own business.


What Should I Do?

"Devastated and numbed... please!!"

First of all if you are reading us:

  • You are devastated
  • You are clueless
  • You are insecure
  • You do not trust anyone anymore

How do we know it? We are reading along with you... and the picture can be sad. Your parents or siblings told you, but you wanted to work things out. Being young and naive can take a toll on all of us. We were young, and we had to learn the hard way. Even as parents we had to walk the walk.


"So please, I need some answers, because..."

Chances are :

  • He was already cheating. Go back to those red flags: secret texting, hidden FB accounts, weird cellphone numbers... you name it!
  • He found a woman that does what he wants, whenever he wants...
  • He wants to prove to himself(his boasting ego), and his "friends" that he can have more than one 'chick.'
  • There were some signs that you didn't see except this "bastard."
  • He most likely was using you. Since he dumped you, he never had a heart for you.

What Are Your Options?

Be real! Straighten things up and get ready to dress to strike back:

  • Become a detective and get some answers
  • Re-invent the woman in you. No less, no more. Just you!
  • Get busier in what you were supposed to do in life. Men usually stop you from achieving solid goals.
  • Clear your mind by exercising, joining a spa.
  • Volunteer some non-profit organizations. What you you are really doing is regaining consciousness and self-esteem for life.
  • If you want to go deeper, join him by opening a FaceBook account with another chick's name. Get a hot picture from a BFF, if she doesn't mind... or just get it online. Get him good! You know the follow up...!

Do You Find This Advice...

See results

Since You Are A Woman..

You deserve to get back your princess status. This is a men's world but you deserve respect. Here is a piece from the heart... let's see what our mind has for you, young queen:

Looking into your eyes and capture that sky

Look into the mirror and join that distant child

Value yourself and start a new day

Discover the treasure that was hidden by these evil men...


I know!! Is Easy to give some advice but...

If you feel lonely and miss him:

  • Just think again; would you hurt him the way he did?
  • Were his words really sincere? We men know how to talk...!
  • How long did it take him to get you in bed? Ops!
  • If he left you, LISTEN CLEARLY, he never really loved you...!

Your choices:

  1. Move on with your life.
  2. Life is too short to cry over a real loser.
  3. Value yourself as a woman (again?)
  4. Read positive articles on the net; some are short but really effective.
  5. You are not alone: there are so many relationships that end with just a simple misunderstanding, and that is just pathetic.
  6. Is not the end of the world. Cheer up and
  7. If you can, trust a good girlfriend with your issues.

Good luck and be safe!


Submit a Comment

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    5 years ago from New York

    Hola CrazedNovelist, hope you found these tips useful, because we might need them ourselves. Mind can bring ideas and thoughts in no time. Thanks for your input.

  • CrazedNovelist profile image

    A.E. Williams 

    5 years ago from Hampton, GA

    I have a friend who recently went through this. This will definitely help me be there for her during this crazy time. It's a very useful article, succinct, and well written. Always a pleasure, Joseph. :)

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    5 years ago from New York

    Hi Jackie, as you said, both sides can suffer, and equally both sides will have to pick up the pieces. Thanks for leaving a very important comment. I understand Jackie better now.

  • Jackie Lynnley profile image

    Jackie Lynnley 

    5 years ago from The Beautiful South

    Guess I am divided. In some ways it seems men really suck, breaking hearts and moving on but then I know it is not all men, that women can be that way too but since women cannot hurt me, men is my only focus, lol. I wonder how they can pass on a devoted love they may never find again. Especially today with the many risks of having multiple partners (do men ever give that thought I wonder with their continual shopping eye?) Guess we have most had broken hearts and know the feeling and it is very painful but we will live, we will hopefully learn without blocking our hearts from love.

    I was surprised at Katy's good voice but the song was a little too rappy for me. Thanks though, great hub.

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    5 years ago from New York

    Yikes Magicfive!That must've changed your life and your whole atittude toward men! I guess you learn the hard way. Actually is better to break something that wasn't worth it anyway.

  • MAGICFIVE profile image


    5 years ago from New York

    There are really red flags all along when someone is going to dump you. Women just refuse to see them, and then act all surprised when it happens. I know, because it happened to me!

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    5 years ago from New York

    Gee Dashing scorpio! No wonder Sheila loves your comments and your open mind personality. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Young women need direction, and seems that they do not trust their parents enough. "I told ya" or, "You never listened," come to their minds and make them think twice before sharing their human experiences with the ones that gave them life. Thanks for these clear input of yours! Great surprise this morning!

  • dashingscorpio profile image


    5 years ago

    First of all I think teens and young students in college often have 'unrealistic expectations" of their relationships. Not many people end up marrying their high school sweethearts. Most dating relationships will not lead to (happily ever after). Trying to find out if a 16, 17, or 19 year old cheated on you is a waste of time. The relationship wasn't going to last anyway! I know that sounds harsh but that is reality and these girls parents know it because they lived through it.

    Last but not least "closure is overrated". Being given or asking for a "reason" for being dumped is almost like asking someone to kick you in the head as they walk out the door.

    "There is nothing your ex can say to you that will make you feel better about having your heart broken!"

    Truth be told, the reason why someone dumps you could be the very reason why the next person falls madly in love with you! Be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. One man's opinion! :-)

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    5 years ago from New York

    Carol7777 so kind of you for commenting! Yeah, all relationships have its ups and downs. Mean men with experience pray on the newbie in life. Thanks again!

    @Pamela99, Seems that the message is getting out there by the statistics and scoring. Feel sorry for those beautiful souls that start to taste life on the wrong side. Ver much appreciated by your input!

    @Euroninila, this is an advice from the heart. Men have all the tools to make young women fall. And you should know better. Just be careful and live your life to the fullest. Glad to read you!

    @Rubi, that's right. The thing is women, young chicks fall so easily and hardly forget..that "first love." All is in the mind, and moving on is the best choice!

  • always exploring profile image

    Ruby Jean Richert 

    5 years ago from Southern Illinois

    Great Hub Joseph.Good advice! Moving on is the key..Cheers

  • EuroNinila profile image

    Fotinoula Gypsyy 

    5 years ago from NYC BABY

    Nice hub, nowadays people just get into relationships for all the wrong reasons. Hopefully this helps a girl out when she needs it! A very nice and thoughtful hub for the broken hearted! Voted up +++

  • Pamela99 profile image

    Pamela Oglesby 

    5 years ago

    Interesting hub. There are some advantages to being older and in a secure relationship after all. I think your advice is good. It is not worth spending time grieving over some pathetic man that probably has a poor ego, so he has to build himself up with all those shenanigans. Great hub, useful and interesting.

  • carol7777 profile image

    carol stanley 

    5 years ago from Arizona

    Sometimes it is hard to let go no matter what the circumstances are. And people go into serious denial. I had a friend who was dumped but she wouldn't let go and kept after the guy. Sometimes the bottom line is that there is no real reason..the other person just wants out....And there is always the issue of commitment. Great hub and great ideas.

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    5 years ago from New York

    Wow NellyAnna, you are a hard cookie! Media and society have been shaping up our moods, wishes and even lives. It also happens to guys... the only thing is, they are embarrassed to talk about it. Thanks for your wise comments. Actually we are getting some traffic on this hub, meaning, we are being heard. Amazing but true.

  • Nellieanna profile image

    Nellieanna Hay 

    5 years ago from TEXAS

    So true, Lord. Young women tend to have shaky confidence and are easily 'taken in'. Would be ideal if they could learn to tell the difference in sincerity vs. gamesmanship at the start. But it makes NO sense for them to pine over someone who PROVES he doesn't care & is just interested in leading girls on. Why would a girl want to subject herself to more of that when it's so obvious? It certainly does very little for confidence to drag out the anguish. CriSp is exactly right - if he dumps a gal he didn't love her in the first place; for that matter, didn't care an iota about her.

    You're so right that the media help foster the low self-respect that promotes it; - and people are becoming so MEAN to each other, generally. The guys who do it have shaky self-respect themselves if it's founded on leading girls on and dumping them. It must make up for feeling small themselves. Again, media promote that.

    Good advice like yours should be circulated!

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    5 years ago from New York

    Wow Anamika! You hit them harder than me! Hope these losers get a life! Thanks for your sound commenting! Glad to see you! Thanks!

  • Anamika S profile image

    Anamika S Jain 

    5 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

    This is one issue faced by many. Being Blindsided can be a tough situation. But the positive thing in it is that a 'loser' has gone out of your life without you having to do anything about it. You deserve better than someone who lack manners. Move on! Don't give the satisfaction of him/her finding you miserable.

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    5 years ago from New York

    Thanks Lathing! This article is practical and doesn't go into psychology and its mumbo-jumbo insightful approach. Thanks for stopping by! LA.

  • LaThing profile image


    5 years ago from From a World Within, USA

    Great hub, as usual! Enjoyed reading it...... This is something that goes on all the time, and hopefully will help some heart broken people. Great tips! Voting up and useful.....

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    5 years ago from New York

    Well said Mary Hyatt. There were a time when women depended so much on men's mood of the day. This will stop one day. Becasue new generation of women will be born wiser and smarter. We need a Woman in the White House! This way I can get some credit! Lol!

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    5 years ago from New York

    Wow! Janine. Now I remember your hub about that ex bf. Thanks for spending your time and reading this hub. Sure will help some young folks out there.

  • mary615 profile image

    Mary Hyatt 

    5 years ago from Florida

    All I can say is, I'm glad I'm past the time in my life where I don't have to worry about getting dumped! I never really worried about that when I was younger either. I figured it was their loss, not mine.

  • Janine Huldie profile image

    Janine Huldie 

    5 years ago from New York, New York

    Great advice Joseph. Seriously, I was once a young, naive girl who could have used this advice, but alas I grew up and thankfully married a wonderful man. But for all the young girls who do need advice, your article is truly for them and hits all the major points on this beautifully. Well done my friend and have voted up, shared and tweeted too of course!!

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    5 years ago from New York

    Thanks NelliAnna,

    You got the core of the message. Certainly, I'm literally mad toward my fellow man. They know the game...and usually play the violin chords to young women, who want to be loved. Thanks for your time and support.

    @Tammy? Lol! You always getting... making us smile. Actually yhere is math involved in the matters of love. Just remember my "Freakin' real good" poetry. Well, if they dump you. That means they lost the time of their lives. Gotta write about Ardie, this is it!

    @Cris Sp,

    Bieng a guy doesn't mean I'm blind. At times my feminine side emerges and takes over... not gay at all. Not yet! Your comment really corroborates our concerns. There is something going on nowadays. Probably too many reality shows and garbage from the media are blinding our new generations. Thanks for your feedback!

  • CrisSp profile image


    5 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

    And I repeat: "If he left you, LISTEN CLEARLY, he never really loved you."

    Excellent advice specially coming from a guy. Voted up, useful and sharing.

    P.S. What happened to our FB sharing button here? Could have been a lot easier than copy/pasting the URL. (:

  • tammyswallow profile image


    5 years ago from North Carolina

    Hey. I am reading and I am not clueless.. well most days. When I am not reading your math hubs. If a guy wants to dump me, I say don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya. Helpful hub!

  • Nellieanna profile image

    Nellieanna Hay 

    5 years ago from TEXAS

    Very good, LDC. Why would she want such a man. She's lucky to find out and not waste any more valuable time and living on it. The hurt is embarrassment, mostly - for misjudging. When she refocuses on who she is, there's no need for that.

    I once counseled a young man who had been taken in by an exploitive girl and was nearly ready to end it all. When he realized how lucky he was to find out, he was able to shake it off and move on.

    'Users' come in all shapes and sizes. They are not worth wasting one's tears or time over. As you say - valuing herself is how to recover her composure and let it go - and be wiser next time.


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