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How Do I Know If He is Not Right For Me?

Updated on July 21, 2012
So, we have gone this far...!
So, we have gone this far...! | Source

Warning-- If you want to keep your marriage. Do not read.

You have this guy that has been around you for longer than you thought. You are still hanging on and want to know what's in his head. He looks for excuses, good ones by the way. You want to be loved so bad, and at the same time you don't want to make mistakes that you saw in your girlfriends and perhaps in your own family members. You are here reading us for a reason right? Let's see what's going on.

Okay Lord, He is a Charm of a man, but he thought I would go for his game. How can I know If he... You know? How would you recognize a player from the 'teamwork' guy in a relationship? I sincerely want to know once and for all.

Just clarify yourself from that 'infatuated bubble' One thing is a person that wants to make you feel good and another thing is the one that you catch 'texting' and tries to fix it with a quick answer. A relationship can last 1 hour a day, 3 hours a week. But, being worried about the other party and feeling angry, uneasy and bothered... those are signs of a 'dead by default' relationship. We all need our space, and here is a male talking about our guys, so you cannot lose because I've been there with them on that locker room, or telling me that life is too short to commit to just one gal. Amazing right? "Such an as told! I'm ready, and dress to kill," said Ann.

The signs in this Case:

  • He is never on time
  • Is the third time he stutters, just to explain the unexplainable.
  • He gets angry easily and has to apologize: stress, finances, money and other excuses.
  • This is a no no!: After lovemaking, he treats you different, not like garbage, not yet.
  • His Job is absorbing his time, and wants you to understand him... poor mamma's boy.
  • He travels a lot and he does it for the both of you. I mean, for how long? Love dies, after nights of cuddling and sudden goodbyes. Sorry overseas guys.
  • He has proposed, but he has changed the dates of his final, pending, marriage several times.


Excuse me Lord, Hi! I'm Margaret. I have been married for 12 years. I know I should've listened to my mother, but now we have had these three wonderful girls... and huh, How can I know if we are heading to an ominous divorce, to say the least?

If you asked, is because you already saw the signs. No need to be a rocket science to tell you. But in your case, you stayed through thick and thin and you wanted your marriage to work, right?

Margaret: You are so right! Then, please can you tell me more? Sorry HP for borrowing your server clouding space..!

If you did it for your girls, then you left yourself out of the picture. I know...I know, mother's love! If he is willing to talk and work things out; then, there is not much you can get from me. You have known him for more that 13 years and perhaps know his answers. One thing men don't want you is to be independent. You know why? He will think you have a future without him. Working to pay the mortgage and on top of that, you work? Either he thinks you are going to leave him half way into the relationship, or he is thinking about his buddies talking about this lady that 'let' another guy into the house while 'hubby' was working. Insecure hominids abound!!

Sorry to break in into the conversation, but I'm a Widow and, by the way I'm Sue. I'm seeing this guy I met on this free chatline. His kids are grown and we seem to be...I, gee, I'm so nervous...! I love his ways and manners, but certain things are not right with him. He wants me to move in with him and I haven't met him so well yet, you know?

Hi Sue! As I said: you will know them by the fruits they bare. Talking about locker room chatting, males are as sneaky as any woman. If you feel in your heart that is too good to be true, then you are seeing the tip of the iceberg. We males talk big time about the ladies. On top of that, we have the nerve to call you the biggest gossipers on the planet! How about these monkeys? I mean, us?

You ladies, are unique! You have to value yourself and set or reset priorities. The world is not going to end if you don't get a male or get separated. That might be a blessing in disguise. Have you thought about it? Did you see yourself smiling and assenting? Some women were raised to have babies and marry someone: These are the numbers: 50% for being moms, over 25% to please a male... whatever is left, you will reap it as a grandma and possible as a wife. Not all men, today more than ever, are made to make a relationship last. Between the other ladies out there, parenthood and work, there is little space for romance. And if that male is too romantic, hold it: He is taken already, or he will be snatched from you, in... your face.

Suddenly, these three awesome ladies threw their wines on their couples and I found out they were together. I left in a hurry, and kind of ran friskly to my car... like in a hassle. I turn on my car, and I see the three guys running after me. I swear to be careful next time, "Mr. smarter pants!"

Oh Sorry Peter!



Submit a Comment

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    Hi Onlooker,

    Some floks and especially women, get tangled up in a relationship that can destroy their lives forever. We will never get any young. So women gotta be careful who they date.


  • profile image


    6 years ago

    I was a little skeptic. How can a man step in a woman's shoes? Let's see shall we.....You have hot home. I need you NOT my husband, lol. That was a joke.

    Sadly women don't see the signs and they're almost always too late to step up. Thank you, Lord for sharing.

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    @Deborah Brooks,

    It's just in us to understand women. Seems that YOU can relate to one of the three characters. Thnks for being so sweet with us.

    @Rustic Living.Lol! You found your Romeo then? That's so wonderful to hear. I know your mom is happy for you. Thnaks for belonging to this family!

    @Ardie, you have a way with your words too! Hopefully we cannot reveal everything about the ladies; we leave some hidden charm behind the ladies restrooms, is not of our business.Lol!

    @Gina Joy, Nice baby!! And thanks for the compliment. You will hear from me soon...commenting, to say it better.

    @Doctor Ope from Kingstone JAMAICA,

    a PLEASURE to have you in here. Thanks for stoping by! Your comments add some insighful thoughts.


  • Dr.Ope profile image

    Olive Ellis 

    6 years ago

    Interesting story. It is sad that many of usrealize way too late (after several kids) that the man in not right for us. Thanks for sharing and all the best.

  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    You too Gina Joy! Take care!

  • profile image

    Gina Joy Bennett 

    6 years ago

    Pretty good reading Lord. Keep up the good work. Have a great day!

  • Ardie profile image


    6 years ago from Neverland

    Lord you sure have a way with your words and your stories - goodness! And you have a wisdom about the ladies that leaves me wondering....hmmm Great Hub my friend

  • Rusticliving profile image

    Elizabeth Rayen 

    6 years ago from California

    *cough cough cough* Sorry... fur ball!

    Voted way up! This was so funny but so true. Wish I had known this years and years ago... Fortunately I have the right one now! woo hoo!


  • Deborah Brooks profile image

    Deborah Brooks Langford 

    6 years ago from Brownsville,TX

    Lord.. this hits to close to home...LOl.. wow.. you know us women.. I love your hub... thanks for being so understanding to us women. and so truthful

    I voted way up my friend.


  • Lord De Cross profile imageAUTHOR

    Joseph De Cross 

    6 years ago from New York

    Sorry Kelly I know I shouldn't have put a picture that accidentally looks like yours, but this hub is a serious matter. Hope you and Dave are doing just fine!


  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 

    6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Lmao! Oh Lord - now what to do with you? Hmmm!

    "He wants me to move in with him but I haven't met him yet". HAHAHA thanks that's Awesome and goes down terrible with my coffee! Lolololololol lmao! I choked on that one:)

    Dear Abby ....haha!


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