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Why Do I Have Bad Luck With Women?

Updated on May 2, 2013

This seems to be a Bio...

"I look myself in the mirror and I scream!

I go to buy some roses and forget my car keys

No wonder Shannon didn't want to see me anymore."

Is bad luck really there if... we think about it? Was this ill omen, or spell, casted on us at birth? We wouldn't even want to wish so much bad luck on our worst enemy.

But some guys are luckier than others. Is it in the genes? Why is that some males attract women just by the way they look at them? And some have like US to go the extra mile, just to catch the average Jane?


The real life scenario...

Let's go straight to real life situations and see your point of view as a male, and hear from the female side. Are you ready Fred?

Situation 1

"I went to bed with my smelly socks on... and for the first time I smelled the darn weapons of mass destruction."

"You are so nasty! I'm done with this that's all!" That's what a woman would say to you, seeing you from the hidden camera she happened to put in your room with our help. Ops! Women can sense you from miles away. Just ask AEvans, women are delicate creatures that were raised to have bubble baths and big hugs from their dads. Wow it did rhyme! If you want to date the prospective woman of your dreams, be positive and think ahead. You are not to show that single life, 'no care attitude' around them. Those stinky socks on top of your locker at gym have to go... ya know?

Situation 2

You erupted as though it was a normal thing. Mom knew that sign for sure! You finally were full and well fed. But think again! Do you want to see Tammy Swallow, Ardie and Kelly Ump! faces after reading this ill manner of yours? Between ewes! and 'restrooms breaks,' (LMAO) you would think twice next time. Women, real women for sure, are our superhuman from Venus and need to be loved from the very first day. (play the Venus song from Bananarama)

Okay well, I add Cardisa, Debbie, Iamaudraleigh, Sunnie, Both Susans, Marissa, and all the women we know... to this back up choir : "Ew!!"

Situation 3

You were listening to Christmas carols on april 27 at 10 a.m.

Well pal, what's wrong with you?

If a woman took your 'shirt' Then forget about this hub. You belong to each other for sure. Move on and let others read us. Just ask Susan!!

Situation 4

You are trying to get rid of that pimple in front of the mirror and then you hear that 'plop.' And then start singing to that KIZZ song: 'I was made for loving you!' and to top it up you exclaim, "Would love that girl the same way I love my mom."

Excuse me? You don't take a shower with your mom right? You are not 5 years old anymore, aren't you? Again: She saw you on cam (with our help) and is dialing to say bye to you. Just ask Wonderful1

Where you did go wrong!!? Talking about bad luck...?


Situation 5

"I picked chocolates and roses for Martha and I got this text message from her: 'Got the tickets for Led Zeppelin! Love ya Greg!!' You were devastated.

Your name was not Greg. Your name was Fred. Either you play the game and take the roses to her...or hit that Cop in front of you. Some women can be excellent players, and you should be aware of that.

I know you loved Sesame street when you were a kid, but bad luck can be a good sign at times. Just trust the one above. Just ask Faith Reaper. And move aside!! A pigeon just dropped a salty gifted green piece of protein 'heading' your way!


Situation 6

You spray that 99 cents cologne on you, and forgot to take care of your nails. Your shoes are already asking for retirement, but you loved them, since grandma gave them to you.

Is not how you think you look your best. Is what women see in you. You got to see from the feminine side. While they were watching Power-puff girls (ask ChristyWrites), you were watching those mighty morphine 'sicko' Power Rangers.

Women are a different breed, so you have to meet half way. Some relationships ended because of simple misunderstanding and that can be so sad.

This would be too much...


Find the girl that you can really afford

Love needs some luck and some smartness

Here are some quick final tips to chase away that bad luck:

  • Chose a woman with the same interests

  • If you both love pierced tongues, then go to the next level (cannot tell you)

  • Study yourself and your future gal. Make your homework... and your laundry.

  • Be confident but no cocky. That bully in you, have to go.

  • If you think you have bad luck, it will be around... just like a nagging old flame

  • Again: Negative opinions and negative attitude will chase away any woman from your life.

  • Work out if you want that Pam Anderson. Women love those six pack abs. Just ask BarberGirl28.

Are you willing to love this little mermaid in them?


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