How I became a winner at life

For years I have felt that I was a loser, not necessarily a loser at life, just someone who doesn’t win things.  The song from Hee-Haw has run through my mind  more than once on many occasion.  “If it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all”.   At first it was just sort of in a joking manner, but after a while I began to believe it.

Oh I’ve listened to Robert Schuller “If it’s going to be, it’s up to me!“ and lots of other ‘positive thinking’ speakers through the years I would listen to what they had to say and apply some of the things they said to my life, for a while.  Until something bad happened.

Then back into my old way of thinking. 

It’s more than saying positive things, it’s more than just feeling positive.  It’s a way of life.  It’s a culmination of all things that makes the changes.  This past year, 2010 was what I would consider the worst year of my life, yet the best.

The worst, in bad things that could happen to any one person.  Yet the best in my personal growth. 

The year started off bad, but due to what happened in the second month I can’t even begin to remember before that.  In February my world crashed in on me, the worst thing that I could ever imagine happened.  For 25 years I’d lived in some sort of fantasy world, oh  I ’knew’ something was going on, I just could never prove it, nor did I want to believe it.  It was time for me to face the truth.

For a while I walked around numb to my life, not living, just breathing and existing.  Not doing the things that I’d always loved doing.  At some point I decided to peek my head out of my shell, hoping that there was no one there ready to lop it off.  No one was.  Tentatively my head peeked out more often and a little further each time.  One day, it just never went back into the shell.

I’d begun to do the things I’d always enjoyed again, slowly at first, then I picked up speed and went gung ho into writing. I’d put down my pen and paper long ago, one day as I was surfing the net I found a reason to pick it up again. HubPages. It allowed me to write whatever was on my mind. So I did.

I began to see humor in life once again, slowly at first then with such an intensity that I was laughing at my own words. I could laugh at my life again, see the funny things that were constantly happening. This is not to say that from time to time I didn’t feel a little sorry for myself, have my own pity party. I did.

Bad things continued to happen, things would break around my house, dogs peed on the furniture, chewed up shoes, clothes etc… A neighbor threatening to shoot our dogs. Refrigerator breaking in July. For 13 weeks our wages had been garnished. Making recovery from that the hardest thing I could ever imagine. Just eating became something that was a luxury. I began to cook only on the weekends, eating peanut butter sandwiches and ramen noodles the rest of the week. Sometimes oatmeal was the dinner of choice. All the while trying to take care of 2 Grand babies, 2 children and my husband.

There was a warrant out for my arrest for an unpaid bill, hey if there is no money bills can’t get paid! My husband was arrest and jailed until the bond was paid which took care of his ‘part’ of the bill. We had to borrow the bond money, so that had to be paid back, just 5 short weeks before Christmas. Had I been arrested, I would have had to sit in jail. The shame of this still haunts me. I have never gotten in trouble in my life.

The first cold weather we got my water pipes froze… twice. Then when it got the coldest the Combustion blower on my heater went bad. On Christmas eve no less. It was the bearing that were going, so every hour or so when it started squealing I’d run to the motor and oil the part that wasn’t supposed to be oiled, just so it would continue to work on the lowest setting.

The holidays were a chore, I provided nothing for the dinners, my daughter did. It was my house that we cooked at. I just had to come up with the money for the propane to cook. The Christmas gifts were very lean. I made most of them out of yarn and my talents. I didn’t have the money for a Christmas tree, my youngest daughter and her boyfriend found someone to donate one. It was put up on a table so the baby couldn’t get into it and the dogs didn’t pee on it.

My change has come over time slowly, it might not have gotten into full gear if it weren’t for one person. A fellow Hubber - LillyGrillZit. She gave me the nudge, kick, shove, push when I needed it the most. It was more than her positive thinking. We have become friends off of HubPages, onto Facebook and through e-mail as well.

When ever anything seemed darkest, she presented me with my tutu and wand (figuratively speaking) and some of the kindest words that I have ever heard!  She helped me see the light.  That I am a good person.  She deserves the RAK of the year award and if I could give it to her, I would present it with the biggest pomp and circumstance available known to man/woman!

So how does one become a winner? It has to come from deep within, start by looking at the glass as half full rather than half empty. When bad things happen try to see the humor in it. How does one see the humor of the dogs peeing on the furniture? It’s there, you just have to find it. Your imagination comes in handy here! One dog talking to the other “That’s mine…. No, it’s mine…” a little grrrring going on here while another one (I have 4 male dogs) runs up and pee’s on it and says “There that settles it, It’s MINE”.

We found a way to put up a small fence to keep in the dogs, so the neighbor didn’t shoot them. The broken things either got fixed or stayed broken. I bought chewy things for the dogs so they quit eating furniture, clothes etc…

Borrowed the money to buy a fridge, that was paid back during the wage garnishment. Learned to live on less and less. If the Dish Network got shut off, I’d turn it back on when I could, watch movies during down time. That didn’t matter because the big TV broke at some point during all of this. It still hasn’t been replaced, but either will or won’t be in time.

When the water pipes froze we bought a few gallons of water, since my daughter has a job and is well liked at her work, they let us borrow a full 10 gallon jug of water. So we could fill the baby’s bottle, have coffee and wash dishes. The water still leaks but at least it isn’t frozen. We may have a big expense soon of replacing something, but for now we have water.

The heater, well my mode of dress has become something to behold! I put on heavy pajamas, robe, socks, slippers and scarf. The heater is now fixed it cost just a little over $200, which was a Christmas gift from my Dad and his lovely wife. I miss all of my clothes, but I deal with it.

I managed to get through it all, and survived as well. Yes, at the moment of the problem I wanted to cry, yell or hit something. Within the very same day, I was able to see the humor in it. How did this happen? Determination. Pure and simple. Determination on my part not to let it get me down. That and a good friend, one who encouraged me with her words.

Together we decided we were going to be winner’s from now on. This is not to say that bad things can’t or won’t happen, but when they do were going to be there with our tutu’s on, our wand in hand and laugh at the problems. Laughing seems to make them smaller. Problems shared are problems halved.

So pick your friend, or let them pick you, be encouraging together! Find that person or person’s who have positive thinking, they don’t have to be close by. Facebook, or emails work just fine. Encourage each other! When you find something terrific, share it with your friend, they will be happy for you. You too must be happy for them when they do something good as well! Congratulate each other, invite others into your circle. Together you can conquer ANYTHING!

For my writing I'd like to thank a friend from School. Sharon - She has been my 'rabid reader'. Reading everything that I have written on HubPages with the exclamation of 'more, more, more!'... We got together on facebook this past year and one day I'm going to take her that pie I promised!

If you're ever in Rome, GA and you need body work for your car, make sure you look up her and her husband's business! They do great body work! I've seen the pictures on Facebook! The name of their business is "Pimp Your Wagon" Make sure you tell them Sweetsusieg sent you!!

LillyGrillZit - Thank You! You have been the most positive influence in my life thus far and I certainly do appreciate your friendship! Apart we only have 1 wing - together we can fly!