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How Revenge Is Sweet

Updated on April 24, 2011

Just For My HubPages Friends,


ANOTHER SIDE OF ME!!!!

I know what you are all thinking, oh dear whining, moaning Minnie is hear again to depress us with too much sentimentality. Too many tales of whoa, no sense of humour at all, and such a depressive nature. Well think again because this truthful and mostly ashamedly tale is of REVENGE.

I was reading back over some of my hubs today and really thought 'would I actually spend my time to read these hubs?' and the answer was, 'Not without a box of tissues, a hot cup of tea, and some self pitying music to really set the scene.'

It is true to say that I have had many lessons to learn through my life, but I haven't always been such a saint that you mostly think I am. So I will spill the beans and bring you up to date with my dark side. Some of it anyway, don't want to scare you all away just this minute.

As a sad and lonely, single parent only child, ahhh, I did have friends to play with, so I am going back as far as I can recall. If I am to do this, I may as well do it right.

Lesson 1. Do not buy me an ice cream and ask me to share it with another little child, because this makes me push the said ice cream into the other child's face.

Lesson 2. Do not take me into the bank and make me sit quietly on a chair, because being very obedient, I stayed on the chair but moved it over to the counter to stand up and ask, "Will my money be safe in here?"

Lesson 3. Do not buy me a toy umbrella and tell me not to put it up in the store, only for me to find a lady with a short skirt looking into the freezer, for me to put the umbrella up as high as it would go, up her skirt.

It gets worse...

Well Ok that was kid's stuff, so I will progress a little further.

In secondary school, a friend of mine embarrassed me in front of the whole class. Being naive, wet behind the ears at the time, she encouraged me to ask "Miss what is an intercourse?" Class fell around in laughter, whilst I was marched to the headmaster for detention. Now not being very happy about this, in the following art class, I "accidentally" - actually, on purpose - knocked over a bottle of white spirit, taking the colour out of the green bias being used to re-cover the pool table; and guess who got the blame?

My first boyfriend, who I hasten to add was an angel compared to the one I married, would not take me to the outdoor pool after school on a Friday. Now this was a big issue to me as I wanted to get a tan! I later found out that on his night with his mates, where did he go? Yes, to the outdoor pool, so I dropped him like a tonne of bricks.  Heartless.

Growing up certainly makes you change. As I mellowed, my moments of revenge got more serious. On one occasion, my ex husband was sitting in his car with a magazine and cup of coffee when my stallion, Blue, shouted excitedly to the visiting mares, making Glenn jump. Glenn, in temper, threw his coffee hitting Blue in the face, grrrr, no one hits my horse. Several hours later, Glenn found himself wheeled out to the front garden with a brush shaft straight through the wheels of his wheelchair, with nowhere to turn and no one apart from me to hear him shout, he he.

As for my beautiful Teal who was shot to prove a point, Glenn made a huge mistake there. Just when he thought he had gotten away with it, I took a sledge hammer to his car bonnet making quite a mess. Oh revenge.

I have worked in media publishing for most of my adult career and was taking a lovely young man under my wing, wink wink, to find that he had taken a girl into my office to show her his fine tools on my office desk. Wow very big mistake, as several days later he found his car with four flat tyres and a lovely remake of his paint job telling his neighbours what I thought about him. I really hope that the inspection of his tools was worth the hassle!!

Now if a couple of my confessions has made you take a sharp intake of breath, I am terribly sorry. I just wanted to prove that I do have a sense of humour; rather twisted you'd say. And I can stand up and be reckoned with, but not all the time. But more so, and I must convince myself of this, I must treat you all to a happy hub, mmm pigs might fly, but not today. Watch this space.

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    • Mrs. J. B. profile image

      Mrs. J. B. 

      7 years ago from Southern California

      Netts you know that if I had Glen in eye's view... Star and Jp would be my co-conspiritors... That little worm should be grateful that you only did minor things like "smack his wheelchair tires"....Right??? Yes I thought so..

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Leelee lol I never even thought of Glenn and I when I choose the picture, but you are so right, glad to see it a different way. You can always make me laugh. xx

      dogluva@aol thank you so much for reading this hub, I am glad you thought it well written.

    • profile image

      dogluva@aol.com 

      7 years ago

      LeeLee recommended I visit your hubpage. Nice work.

    • Mrs. J. B. profile image

      Mrs. J. B. 

      7 years ago from Southern California

      Netts: I just realized that the picture of you and Glen at the start is just beautiful!!! You looked so pleased to have his head plastered to the table!!! Great Hub that is so funny, witty and something we can all relate to one way or another.

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Hi Sonia thank you for your comment. It was quite liberating to realise I too had a darker side to me, I guess I have just realised I am no angel lol

    • sonia05 profile image

      sonia05 

      7 years ago from india

      hey...very funny and interesting hub. I liked because everyone has a darker side and we all indulge in revenge taking acts once or twice in our lives...maybe 3-4 times...oh! no maybe many times!!!!

    • profile image

      ariasnote 

      7 years ago

      Wow!...and I thought I was the revenge queen! : ) Great read!!

    • profile image

      how to make a man fall in love with you 

      7 years ago

      What a great hub thebluestar..

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      My dear friend Leelee, you crack me up. Your comments always bring a smile to my face, this one got a lol How are you my friend, keep me posted

    • Mrs. J. B. profile image

      Mrs. J. B. 

      7 years ago from Southern California

      I LOVE all your stories. A good cry is well worth it. Only use your sleeve to wipe your nose and have a shot of whiskey on stand by. Your wit is pricelss, I find it to be like Dean Martin's. You just crack up because of its perfect timing. Your love of animals is touching and filled with deep passion and the choices of Men you picked well we all have had a lemon or too. Trust me.. I know all too well. So now that you have told me about your devilish side, I already knew you had one... Although after what you know who did what... HIs behind would be on a plaque hanging outside my front door!!!! Love You Nettie and all your stories!!!!

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      crystolite how are you, thank you so stopping by.

    • crystolite profile image

      Emma 

      7 years ago from Houston TX

      Good article,thanks for sharing.

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Thanks b. that makes me feel a whole lot better lol

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 

      7 years ago

      I must be as warped as you are, because I truly enjoyed your confessions...and could certainly add some of my own. Good One, Bluestar my Friend!

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      sharyn and Genna thank you both once again for passing by. your comments are always welcome. I can't remember past joining hubpages what my life was like. It is great to meet such fantastic people.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 

      7 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Good for you, bluestar! I always enjoy your hubs, and this one is no exception. :)

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image

      Sharon Smith 

      7 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Funny, funny funny -- Great to get to know you a lil better!

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Hi bobbi, thank you for stopping by and actually I am a little ashamed of some of my actions, but just goes to show that even the mildest of folk can get even if pushed to far. lol

    • BobbiRant profile image

      BobbiRant 

      7 years ago from New York

      Love this hub. I think getting mad is useless but getting even is a lot more fun. Good for you! Great piece. Voting you up.

    • thebluestar profile imageAUTHOR

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      You would be made very welcome my friend and I promise to be on my best behaviour lol

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 

      7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      LOL!

      When we come to Ireland, I’ll want to look you up and hear more!

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