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How To Stop Spousal Abuse In Action

Updated on November 18, 2010

How To Stop Spousal Abuse In Action

You've been beaten most of your marriage by your husband, but now it is time to stop the abuse in action. Doing this is not going to be easy because you don't know the outcome of it. However, you're sure you don't want him hitting you, you will end up having broken bones and bruises or maybe even worse.

Having children makes the situation even worse when they have to witness their father beating their mother. Sometimes a child might get in the way and get hurt too; many times an abusive spouse can turn his or her anger towards the children if they feel that the child is standing between them and their victim.

When an argument is brewing, change the subject, don't provoke your spouse or keep an argument going, it can spark something even worse that you will later regret. Something else a woman should have is a separate bank account that her husband should not know about in case she has to flee from his abuse and if she doesn't have a bank account, get a trusting friend or relative to hold onto some cash for her in case of emergencies.

If you know that your husband drinks every Friday night and he get's violent, you should have a plan to prevent this abuse. Don't stick around and deal with his drunken behavior and abuse. Make arrangements to spend your Friday nights with a relative or friend and explain to your family and friends that you are being abused and need a safe haven.

You should also contact a battered womans shelter, the United Way or even the police to find out what are your options and ask them where you can get the help you need, they will steer you in the right direction.

If you have decided to stay and put up with your spouse's abuse; devise a plan for protection, run over to a neighbors house when he starts to abuse you and if you can't get out of the house, carry a cell phone and have a safe room in the house you can run into and call the police, after call a friend or relative so that you can have someone on the phone to calm you down while you wait for the police.

Don't feel you can fight him because it can only intensify and normally most men are physically stronger than most women and can do a woman great bodily harm. You can check the laws in your state to see if you can own a stun gun or pepper spray, something where you can disable your abuser, long enough to get away from him.

Also something a woman can do is move away to another city or state if she is able to and can afford it. It helps when there is a relative or friend who lives far away that can help out by giving you a safe place to live until you find an apartment of your own. Never tell your spouse where you live or leave a trail behind to lead him to where you are and whatever you do, don't let loneliness and desires for intimacy lead you to call your spouse, start anew after you have healed.

If you have children, fleeing with them can get you into trouble, if your husband tells authorities that you've left with his children and you're keeping him from his children, you might get into trouble for kidnapping. Before you flee it's best to prove to a court that your husband is abusive and you fear for your life as well as for your children's lives. The courts must realize that your home is a dangerous place for you and your children and provide better and safer options for you and your children.

Your spouse needs to seek counseling to stop his abuse and you need to seek counseling to heal from the abuse, just remember this; all of the sorry's you hear after he has beaten you, all of the flowers and gifts he has given you or nice restaurtants he has taken you to is not worth being beaten the next time.


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