ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Relationship Problems & Advice

How to Control Your Man - Part 4

Updated on August 10, 2012

4. Use water, not fire.

Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry, and you get what you want.

Minnehaha, Laughing Water, of Hiawatha fame should sometimes be Minneboohoo, or Crying Water! When your intuition tells you an emotional outburst is the need of the hour, choose to turn on the tap instead of striking the match. This works especially great in public places! And it helps if your man is a proper gentleman who hates scenes!

Cleo, though poor in man-control strategy, accidentally stumbles upon this truth on their daughter’s eighth birthday:

After the party was over, Tony walked into the devastated area to find Cleo mourning the ruins of a dead vase.

‘Mother gave it to us when she first came here, hoo, hoo, hoo!’

Tony, organized problem-solver of the management-book kind, decided to remove the source of her grief immediately and equipped himself with pan and broom. Shooting vague terms of consolation to his wife as he cleaned up, Tony found himself absentmindedly cleaning up all the debris. Getting into the mood of the thing, he even did his regular comic act with the vacuum cleaner as prop. The evening ended in a candle-lit dinner at the new restaurant in town!

One fine shopping day, a little hint of a tear in Mary’s eye as she gazed at an expensive watch brought it home as an anniversary gift! Boys are absolutely helpless when girls turn on the water supply. They haven't been trained to handle this. Dad didn't tell them. Probably Dad didn't know what to do with Mom’s tears either. However, there are some nasty sadists who react violently, and then you have to follow your intuition, if any. Or past experience. If any.

Foreword

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Kenny Wordsmith profile image
      Author

      Ashok Rajagopalan 7 years ago from Chennai

      You have to be very good at it. Some men see through this. :P

    • profile image

      Apparently_noone  7 years ago

      I just have to say I disagree. When my husbands parents had to relocate due to a layoff to another state, they offered to take our 2 year old daughter with them for a month to help us save money on childcare (they had been watching her free since I began working to help us out). I, although greatful for the offer, told my husband I wanted to decline because I didn't like the idea of my baby being out of state and for that long. He told me he already decided she was going and when I began to cry and blubber in protest, all I got was a "get over it, she's going", "you're disgusting", and a "shut the f**k up". So from my experience, I think its fair to say not all men respond to the water tactic. For those of you who have had good reactions to it, feel blessed that you have a man capable of compassion, because some of us aren't that lucky.

    • Kenny Wordsmith profile image
      Author

      Ashok Rajagopalan 7 years ago from Chennai

      Yes, a woman will just hug and be with a woman who is crying, and share the emotion. But a man has to deal with it and do something. :)

    • ahostagesituation profile image

      SJ 7 years ago

      I just love this. I can't cry unless I'm actually upset, and don't cry much but I'll laugh while crying at a guy trying to fix the issue. They look at you wondering what this mysterious leaking of eyes is? Why are you doing this?? Make it stop! Will money stop the leak? Jewelry? Compliments? Anything...just make it stop!

    • Kenny Wordsmith profile image
      Author

      Ashok Rajagopalan 10 years ago from Chennai

      Never saw a cat in tears myself. My cat manages with a plaintive look. Someone fetch an Oscar for my cat!

    • Jason Stanley profile image

      Jason Stanley 10 years ago

      Yup, tears always tare it. Heck, even my middle aged female cat seems to know how to tear up to get what she wants (do cats have tear ducts?)

    • Kenny Wordsmith profile image
      Author

      Ashok Rajagopalan 10 years ago from Chennai

      He's a good man, Michelle. And you are an honest lady. Many women supply tears on demand, and tears are useful... LOL

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 10 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      I'm like G-Ma, it's almost midnight and here I am still reading part 4. :-) Tears? Now let me recall..well, it they are genuine distressed tears, my man would readily engulf me in a big hug. LOL

    • Kenny Wordsmith profile image
      Author

      Ashok Rajagopalan 10 years ago from Chennai

      Yes, G-Ma, my hubs will wait for you, sleep well!

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 10 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      good night..sweat dreams..an bless you G-ma :O)

    • Kenny Wordsmith profile image
      Author

      Ashok Rajagopalan 10 years ago from Chennai

      Oh, G-ma, you made my day! You can go to bed with the feeling that you gace me much delight chasing your comments all over my hubs! G'nite, G-Ma!

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 10 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Well there are tears for many reason's  Mostly happy ones for me..but also sad ones when a hurt feeling comes into play....Most of the time love is really forever and hang on....women cry for many reason's  Hormones....feelings...caring...love...sweet words...a flower for no reason... I was gonna go to bed ..but keep reading your hubs...G-Ma  :O) tsk...tsk...tsk...

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is used to quickly and efficiently deliver files such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisements has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)