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How to Control Your Man - Part 4
4. Use water, not fire.
Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry, and you get what you want.
Minnehaha, Laughing Water, of Hiawatha fame should sometimes be Minneboohoo, or Crying Water! When your intuition tells you an emotional outburst is the need of the hour, choose to turn on the tap instead of striking the match. This works especially great in public places! And it helps if your man is a proper gentleman who hates scenes!
Cleo, though poor in man-control strategy, accidentally stumbles upon this truth on their daughter’s eighth birthday:
After the party was over, Tony walked into the devastated area to find Cleo mourning the ruins of a dead vase.
‘Mother gave it to us when she first came here, hoo, hoo, hoo!’
Tony, organized problem-solver of the management-book kind, decided to remove the source of her grief immediately and equipped himself with pan and broom. Shooting vague terms of consolation to his wife as he cleaned up, Tony found himself absentmindedly cleaning up all the debris. Getting into the mood of the thing, he even did his regular comic act with the vacuum cleaner as prop. The evening ended in a candle-lit dinner at the new restaurant in town!
One fine shopping day, a little hint of a tear in Mary’s eye as she gazed at an expensive watch brought it home as an anniversary gift! Boys are absolutely helpless when girls turn on the water supply. They haven't been trained to handle this. Dad didn't tell them. Probably Dad didn't know what to do with Mom’s tears either. However, there are some nasty sadists who react violently, and then you have to follow your intuition, if any. Or past experience. If any.