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How to Get Over an Ex-Girlfriend In Five Steps

Updated on August 19, 2013
Look familiar? Really? That's my wife you b....., oh wait, no, she's blonder, definitely. Phew!
Look familiar? Really? That's my wife you b....., oh wait, no, she's blonder, definitely. Phew!

Ok, so you've been through the mill, tried to fix things, maybe she did something wrong, or maybe you did. Whatever has happened, now all you want to do is get over her and move on.

If you're not ready to do this yet and you still think you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back, you can click this link for my related article on Get-Your-Ex-Back.

This is always an extremely difficult time for anyone, as I'm sure you are well aware. If you have been in this position before, you will be better placed to handle it.

If not, you need to prepare yourself and try to keep one thing in mind: Time.

Time is the great healer

A cliche it most definitely is, but the fact remains that time heals all ills. Whoever you are, however long or short your relationship, however much you felt you were in love, in time, you WILL get over your ex girlfriend.

There is no way of giving an exact timescale. It depends on who you are and what your relationship was.

This cannot be stressed enough. However low you feel now, you will not feel this way forever.Think about how many things that hurt you at the time, but now don't seem quite so bad when you think back on them. There are, however, many ways to speed this process up and make it easier on you and your emotional well being.

Good god are those the times??!?!
Good god are those the times??!?!

First step: Re-evaluate your relationship clearly

When you think about your ex girlfriend, you probably remember the good times. The times when you had fun together and enjoyed each others company.

This is a good way to torture yourself.

You obviously broke up for a reason, so those memories you are going over are clouding your judgement. Re-evaluate your relationship. Think about it from a more general perspective. You don't need to go into great detail but think about how you felt. Were you really happy? Did she make you feel good about yourself? Did you feel fulfilled in the relationship or did you feel like you were always trying to keep up? Did you feel like you were bending over backwards to keep her happy or was it easy? Did things go wrong because of one incident or were there many problems that never seemed to get resolved? Did you tend to agree on most things or were there often things you didn't see eye to eye on?

These are very basic requirements for a strong, lasting relationship so if they were not there, maybe she wasn't as good as she might appear now that you are no longer together. As human beings, we naturally want what we can't have. In positive situations, this can make us strive to do better and achieve greater things. In negative situations it can make us obsess over something we shouldn't want.

It often helps to do this with a friend who will be able to be more objective about it and stop you from glamorizing your relationship. They will also realize that it is in your interest to get over her and want to help you.

Step two: Let it out

That's right; let it all come out. Cry if you have to, rant at anyone who is willing to listen. Drive up to a mountain and scream at the moon if you think it will help.

Don't coop your feelings up inside or they will drain you.

Men are notoriously bad at doing this, which is why we are usually worse at getting over ex girlfriends than they appear to be at getting over us. I saw a comparison recently, which showed the differences between men and women in break-ups. This showed a man being extremely happy at the start, then gutted after a few months. The woman displayed the opposite emotions. This can be very true, but it doesn't have to be. The reason for this is two fold: Men are generally not as in touch with their emotions as women, and therefore do not usually take time to allow their emotional state to express itself and in doing so, feel better. Secondly, men are usually more likely to think the grass is greener on the other side. When they then find out it isn't, they feel regret.

The important thing here is to do what you feel comfortable with. As long as the emotion comes out and doesn't stay inside doing damage it doesn't really matter what the method is. Alcohol is generally a very bad idea. This can often lead to regression and even trying to contact your ex. This is a worse idea. It is important to come to terms with the fact that the relationship is over. Speaking to your ex will bring up emotions and feelings that you should be trying to get past, not repeat.

Jake could have sworn she was the one, then he discovered she'd been bottle fed....
Jake could have sworn she was the one, then he discovered she'd been bottle fed....

Step three: Clense your everyday life

You don't have to block her on facebook or destroy anything that reminds you of your ex. Just make sure everything is somewhere where you won't stumble across it every day. Put all photos, letters and cards etc in a box somewhere or give it to a friend to hold on to.

Don't constantly read her facebook wall and obsess over every status update. Move all her emails into a different email account that you don't use or if you aren't the type to keep hold of things, delete them all.

Move any text messages you still have into a different folder or again, delete them. Delete ANY text messages you or she made while you were splitting up.

Step Four: Take your time

You won't get over anyone in one day. Keep in mind that you need time to heal, just like with any other ailment. Give yourself the opportunity by trying to take part in things that you enjoy. Avoid doing things that may remind you of her.

Use a different supermarket, don't go to the same DVD shop. Go out with friends as often as you can. If you find yourself at a loose end, go for a run or a walk or see what your relatives are doing and pay them a visit.

Repeat this process every day and you will find in no time at all that you no longer have time to think about her. You will be so busy with your life she won't figure in your thoughts any more. Once this has happened, you can start to think about moving on, in which case you may like to look at my tips on making this happen here how-to-get-a-woman-interested

Step five: Move on

Yes, that's it. Move on. After following the above steps, you should find yourself in a good position to start considering new possibilities.

If you have gone out more, you will likely have met new people and discovered new things to explore. This will increase your confidence and help repair your damaged emotions. Thanks for reading!!


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      trusouldj 3 years ago from Indiana

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