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How to Save Your Marriage while a Divorce Is in Progress

Updated on June 19, 2013
A Happy Couple
A Happy Couple | Source
Hearts broken by a tiff.
Hearts broken by a tiff. | Source

Marriage is a union between two consented individuals who decide to tie the knot and stay together under the same roof. However, it is a challenge to keep each other company and have a smiling face all the time; especially with the daily hustle bustle of life and the challenges it throws at each one of us.

With a chaotic life we all lead, spending over 8-10 hours at work; chances are that, at times, the most valuable relationship in our life starts going down the dungeon and our self-pride prevents it from saving it.

Result?

Ways to mend the broken heart
Ways to mend the broken heart | Source

Relationships start to drift apart, paperwork for divorce is filed, and our busy schedule avoids us to come to a meeting point where we could meet and talk while keeping our egos aside.

It is never too late to repair things if there is a willingness from both sides.

There are some basic steps to help save your marriage while a divorce is in progress.

Communication

This is the most powerful tool in your relationship. A couple has to learn to talk and listen to each other.

Let your better half know what is going on in your life. Talk about, how your work is progressing, your co-workers and narrate any instances that happened in your day. Ask questions about their life and work. Keep the candle of conversation burning between each other, and do not lose interest in it.

This exchanging of information can lead to opening up of any type of hiccups a person has about their partner, and will lead to discussions.


Trust

Believe in your better half. If he has a story to say about why he stayed up late at work, or you happened to meet him at a restaurant with someone. Hear him out. Being suspicious can always hurts the affair, and it usually leads to annoyance or irritability in a relationship where it can cause the couple to drift apart.


Humor

As the old saying goes, “Laughter is the Best Medicine” When things get awkward between a couple, laughter saves the moment.

Use humor to tackle negative emotions, and you will see how the partner snaps out of an argument. There could also be cases when the better half is not in a mood to smile, and would ask to be left alone, grant it since; this space is needed.


Respect

Appreciation for each other is mandatory under all circumstances since; it helps maintain your relationship. Marriage is an institution where dis-respectfulness towards each other, can ruin things. Respect your partner’s likings, tastes, and thoughts. Forcing the accomplice to like your tastes will not be appreciated much longer. As the proverb goes, “Opposites Attract.” Even if the couple has different tastes or likings, respecting each other will give a positive route to your relationship, which in turn can help make your marriage work.


Mini-Vacation

Spending time with each other by a small get-away is healthy for the couple’s mind and body. Being away from home, will help them reflect on the vows they made to each other, and the good times they shared with each other. It will not only rejuvenate them with a different surrounding, but also help lighten the mood as away from the daily pressures of work. This will lead to an ecstasy, and help save your marriage.

Conclusion

Saying, “I Do” is easy, but the actual journey begins thereafter. To make a marriage work, both partners have to be sincere and diligent towards it. Follow the above guidelines from the day you exchange your vows and never will a couple experience frictions in their marriage that they will be dragging it to the courthouse.

My Friend, Janine has some amazing tips for each couple to abide by to help make their marriage as solid as platinum and last for 50 years!

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    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      I was surprised by the title here but agree with everything you wrote. I have fortunately never been near a divorce but after 46 years of marriage totally agree with what you said!

      Voted up, useful, and interesting.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 4 years ago from Singapore

      Valid points, Ruchira. It is always mutual trust and communication that saves marriages! Thanks for sharing!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Sometimes couples find each other again during this time and end up staying together.

    • Ruchi Urvashi profile image

      Ruchi Urvashi 4 years ago from Singapore

      Great words to save the marriage. Trust and Respect are very important. When we take care of our own emotional health, marriage is very easy to maintain and even grow deeper and grow further.

    • profile image

      billys1 4 years ago from "Somewhere", USA

      "Marriage is just one of those things that you always have to work at and never take it for granted." are so correct Lipnanny , never, never, never take it for granted. And iguidenetwork--It can be so very exhausting. But oh so worth while in the long run. All we have to do is stop for a minuet and realize just how unpleasantly different our lives would be without our spouse in it.

    • Lipnancy profile image

      Nancy Yager 4 years ago from Hamburg, New York

      Marriage is just one of those things that you always have to work at and never take it for granted.

    • iguidenetwork profile image

      iguidenetwork 4 years ago from Austin, TX

      Wow, working out a flagging marriage can be really tricky but if couples realize they still love each other (though their intimacy is lacking) they will be willing to put the effort. Good advice. Up and useful. :)

    • profile image

      billys1 4 years ago from "Somewhere", USA

      Sometimes I wonder if it will ever be possible to patch things up. My wife keeps wanting to live in past and blame me for things that I can't help, like since I had a radical prostate removal for cancer and can't--- well you know be intimate anymore the old way. She doesn't want to try anything net either. Also I have been out of work and she doesn't recognize my looking for employment as work, darned hard work. Oh well! I do believe in miracles.

    • Ruchira profile image
      Author

      Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

      Thanks Paula, Anamika, Billys1, Denise, Sharkeye, lovedoc, Linda, Frank.

      Man forgets to keep the "talking" going on and that is vital for this relationship to survive. Gotta drown our egos and get going.

      All of your suggestions are vital for this accord to survive.

    • Ruchira profile image
      Author

      Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

      Thanks Dianna, Bill, Nell, Shasta, Mhatter, Pam, Shampa, ignug77, Ruby.

      Appreciate you stopping by with your precious input for this wonderful relationship that man possesses.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Ruchira....Anything worth saving, is worth at least trying. You have a wonderful attitude. Not too many couples are willing to put forth the effort. It's very sad when a marriage comes to an end...even when both people have agreed that it should......Very helpful and honest advice. UP+++

    • Anamika S profile image

      Anamika S 4 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

      Awesome Hub Ruchira! While some people give up on their marriage easily, some carry on with their dead and hopeless marriage. If a marriage can be saved, the couples should put all positive efforts to save it. But if the marriage is making one unhappy and miserable, it's better to end it.

    • profile image

      billys1 4 years ago from "Somewhere", USA

      I like that song on the radio, I think its called "I wouldn't give up on us"...or something similar. (Its on KOST 103.5 FM) We fight like cats and dogs at times but I will not give up and say the "d" word.

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 4 years ago from North Carolina

      Hi Ruchira, that marriages take work goes without saying; that couples continue to work on marriage while divorce is in progress-that's almost unheard of. Usually, by the time the divorce gets initiated by one spouse the communication has really broken down, and there may be other grievances as well. They're hard hurdles to get over, but with a skilled marriage counselor or spiritual counselor, sometimes it is possible to reconcile.

      Even without a reconciliation remaining in communication is of utmost importance, especially if there are children involved. You've listed so many very important facets of being in the relationship of marriage-either to strengthen the bonds, or to ease the knot and have a respectful 'goodbye'. UP/U/I Thanks

    • Sharkye11 profile image

      Jayme Kinsey 4 years ago from Oklahoma

      Wonderful advice! And so true. Even people who love each other very much can drift apart due to the buildup of small events. Sharing this and voting!

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 4 years ago

      These are very good tips and suggestions thanks for your words of wisdom. voting up!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Communication is vital to a relationship. Any relationship. Whether it's a neighbor, your doctor or the pilot of a plane you're flying in!:) Trust is important also. Excellent tips Ruchira!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      very good advice Ruch and while a divorce is in progress..hmm yeah voted useful.. helpful.. and insightful :) Frank

    • Ruchira profile image
      Author

      Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

      Thanks Dianna. You are a pro in giving excellent advise, and I am glad I am following your footsteps :)

      Thanks Bill. I am glad it worked out. Wishing you and Bev the best of everything.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Great advice Ruchira...Friendship is the key...

    • profile image

      ignugent17 4 years ago

      It is always great to read wonderful ideas. Marriage is like a plant that we need to take good care of it :-)

    • shampa sadhya profile image

      Shampa Sadhya 4 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Voted up and beautiful!

      You always come up with some extraordinary article. It is indeed a good hub and very essential too. Sharing and Pinning

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 4 years ago from United States

      I think you have made some great suggestions as marriage takes a little work. It seems people get divorced sometimes before really trying to get through a rough patch. I hope this hub helps some people in this situation. I have open communication to be so valuable in keeping the relationship working. Voted up and shared.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Woe, thank you for this. Our wedding vows kept us together. Our decision to date again brought back the spice.

    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 4 years ago from USA

      It does take work to make a relationship work, and you have shown some great ways on what that work entails.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Great advice Ruchira, so many people lose that sparkle over the years, and as you say keeping it alive is the main thing to make a happy marriage, voted up and shared!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Good suggestions, Ruchira! My marriage was way beyond saving, but the end result was great because I ended up with Bev and I'm happier than I have ever been.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      So glad to see a hub post like this in today's world where relationships are tested. Working through the hard times takes so much effort and some pain, but the results is worth it all. Great advise, Ruchira. Voted up.

    • Ruchira profile image
      Author

      Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

      thanks Susan. I agree with you. This thingie requires work all the time :)

      Sure, Janine. Let's do it..link it up.

      Thanks for the comment and share...appreciate it.

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Great job Ruchira and I wrote something similar awhile back about how to stay happily married for 50 years. If you would like we could link the two articles up. Have of course voted up and shared all over, too!!

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Great advise! Even after 25 years of marriage it's still work but well worth it.