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Tips to Have a Healthy Marriage and Stay Married for Fifty Plus Years

Updated on July 28, 2015
Janine Huldie profile image

Janine is a published author in Only Trollops Shave Above the Knees, appears on The Huffington Post and at Confessions of A Mommyaholic.

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The Number '50' is a relatively large number. This Hub article is number fifty for me and it got me thinking about the actual number fifty. Fifty articles is a nice amount of articles to have written on here, don't get me wrong there is more to come, but want to reflect on the first fifty.

For some reason when thinking about the number fifty, the first thing that came to my mind was my grandparents and when they celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary. It was back in 1994 and still see them smiling and so very happy on that day even now after both have been long gone (my grandfather passed away in 1999 and my grandmother in 2010).

Being married fifty years is a huge success as far as marriages go. You think even if one gets married at 18 years old (back in my grandparents day many got married at 18 years old), fifty years brings that same person to the age of 68 and even though that may not be old in today's standards some people truly don't make it to that age. But if you are lucky enough to make it and be in your 60s and possibly even in your 70s or even in your 80s that is also a real feat and success in my book.


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So if you are lucky enough and blessed to be married for fifty years, which in my eyes again is a major success. Then my question is how did the happy couple make it to stay married together for fifty years? I am married for six years now and as much as I love my husband, let me tell you there are days where even we have our moments. No one is perfect and as much as you love them, they still can drive you crazy and quite mad even on a good day.

So, how did my grandparents stay married for fifty years, without either divorce or one of them killing the other one is a valid question.

Thinking back (they lived with us) and I had amble time to see their relationship--the good, the bad and the ugly! Remember, they celebrated fifty years of marriage in 1994 and I was 17 years old and at that point I had witnessed their marriage warts and all. And these are some of the things I viewed between them that seems to have worked for them and how I believe they stayed together in Holy Matrimony for over fifty years.

A Golden Oldie Classic--In The Mood (Glenn Miller Band):

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1. Learn to Laugh

When you are married and having a disagreement, believe it or not, a sense of humor can get you far. If you can laugh off the argument or situation at hand and move past it, you are doing something positive to help keep your marriage bond strong and healthy.

My grandfather was a practical joker for most of his life and whenever things got tense he would always try to crack a joke to lighten the mood. Sometimes, this would drive my grandmother crazy, but for the most part it would end up doing the trick and make her less annoyed to the point that she would be able to get past whatever the original argument was about. I remember thinking that this was an interesting way to handle the problem at hand.

Once I was married myself, I started to realize how clever it truly was since my own husband, ironically is a lot like my grandfather and will also try to crack jokes when we are in the middle of an argument. Nine times out of ten, this also does the trick for us as well.

Laughter truly is the best medicine. I am not by any means telling you to trivialize the argument or scenario, but sometimes it is not as bad as it would appear and to lighten up the atmosphere with a bit of laughter can really make a world of difference.


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2. Distance

Sometime the argument or atmosphere can get a bit ugly and that is when you might need to take a walk or just talk a few minutes to get some alone time.

This was another thing I remember my grandfather doing. If my grandmother and him were not agreeing on something, he was ticked off and needed to blow off some steam he would take a walk. He told me once that it always seemed to take the edge off, make him less annoyed and just generally feel better. Also, it would give him a chance to think and regroup. Most times, by the time he returned, he wouldn't be angry anymore and they usually were able to work out whatever the original problem was.

I am a lot like this I find in our marriage now. Usually even if I can't go for a walk, I like to have a few minutes of quiet time in another room to just think things through before I open my mouth and say something I will regret or can't take back. To me, this is just a momentary time out and helps to calm both of us and the situation too.

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3. Learn to Share

Communicating and talking where you are not afraid to say what is on your mind is an essential for a healthy marriage. The gloves are off here so to speak. In order to do this both partners must be able to give a little and be a bit selfless at times too. There truly needs to be a common respect for each other as well.

When I was first married, I remembered thinking, "How am I ever going to get used to sharing a bedroom with someone else." Sounds crazy I know, but I was the oldest child (by 6 years) in a family with 2 children (a girl and a boy) and never had to share a bedroom with anyone. My personal space was my own. If someone in my house annoyed me I could close the door and be in my own quiet space by myself. Sharing a common space was not in my vocabulary for 29 years. So it took time for me to catch on and lean how to do this. So too with being able to communicate my feelings with another person who was there all the time for better or worse. Don't get me wrong I loved my husband dearly and wanted to be with him, but communicating and sharing with him was something that took time for me at least to learn how to do it.

My grandparents never seemed to have this problem at least by the time I got to knowing them (I was born and they were already married for quite a few years). But my grandmother once told me that she had to move to Georgia for the first few years of their marriage. See they got married during WWII and my grandfather was drafted into the army. He was stationed in the US in Altanta, GA at Fort Benning to be exact and lived on the base. Although, they weren't sure if he would be just that lucky to stay on the base and not see combat. When they first got married my grandmother was indeed allowed to move down there and live with him unless he was sent overseas into combat. Well, she told me this was truly the best time of her life, but also the worst, because she was newly married and learning to adjust to married life while being homesick (missing her parents and her five other siblings). Thankfully, my grandfather never did see combat, they came home and adjusted to married life just fine. But the point here was that it takes time to learn how to be married and share your life with another even in the best of circumstances.

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4. Never Go to Bed Angry

You are allowed to get annoyed, but never hold a grudge and get your issues out in the open, then let it go.

When I was getting married to my husband, my grandmother was still very much alive, although my grandfather had been gone for a few years at this point. My grandmother and I were talking about my grandfather and her one day. I started to ask her if she could give me one piece of advice to remember about being married what would it be. Well, I will never forget what she said, which was quite simply, "Never Go to Bed Angry!" She then proceeded to explain that you can fight and argue, but if you want to be in a happy marriage don't let this argument get so out of hand that you can't at least work it out before going to bed at night.

Well lo and behold, we got married and did indeed have out first fight. I remembered her words and we fought well into that night, but guess what even as late as it was we still didn't end up going to bed angry.

My grandmother was indeed right and now after being married for over 6 years and countless trivial arguments (trust me we have had our share), we still have never gone to bed angry. My grandmother's words were truly words by which to live!

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5. Say I am Sorry

When I was a young girl, I had the hardest time saying I was sorry. My mother was the one I credit to this day that taught me how to say I am sorry and for that I am truly thankful. I remember her each time I did something wrong, telling me over and over, "Janine, say you are sorry!" And I have to tell you as much as it drove me crazy to hear those words over and over again, eventually one day it just clicked, because now I say it so easily and never even have to think twice.

My grandparents too seemed to have mastered that lesson early on and also remember my grandfather telling me it is easier to say you are sorry than drag your feet out on it forever. No truer words were ever spoken and it would seem both my grandparents lived their lives saying these three little words when necessary and yet another reason why their marriage was so very strong and survived through the years.

Even in my own marriage (as I said I am very capable of saying I am sorry having learned this lesson early on) I can tell you I will say I am sorry to my husband usually first, because I would rather get past whatever issue we have and move on from it. To me I love him too much to keep an argument going or hold a grudge, so I would much rather say that I am sorry so we can get on with it and enjoy our lives. So not worth being miserable and annoyed, when we can be getting along and having a good time. Life is truly too short and want to be able to enjoy as much of it as I can.

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6. Manners--Use them

Another, life lesson I learned early on was from both my mother and my grandmother was my manners and being able to say such things as "Please and Thank You". From the time I began to speak, I was taught if I wanted something to always say, "Please" and if I got something to say, "Thank You". Very simple, but so very direct.

When you are married, we sometimes take the other person for granted, but seriously if your spouse does something nice for you, then the very least you can do is say thank you and if you would like them to do something then you could at the very least say please. I mean my grandmother always did say, "You catch more flies with honey!" So sometimes you have to be polite in order to get something in return. It is truly as simple as that.

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7. Work Hard At It

Marriage only begins at the vows of "I do" and "Death do us part" is a long way off if you plan on being married for fifty plus years. So how to you go from being newlyweds to celebrating your golden wedding anniversary? By working hard at making each day count and last . Guess what those days become weeks, months, and then years.

My grandparents did just that and never gave up working at making their marriage last. My husband and I have only been married 6 years, but we also try to make each day count and work very hard to make our marriage mean something and keep it going all the time.

I was taught that the word 'divorce' was not in my vocabulary so to speak at an early age and so was my husband. So thankfully we are on the same page where this one is concerned. It is so very important, I believe for a marriage to last to be in it for the long haul. If you treat your marriage as it is disposable, then it most likely will be and you will end up divorced even before the ink is dry on the marriage certificate, but if you truly want to be together forever then you have to work all the time to keep your marriage intact.

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8. Nothing Is Perfect

Last, but not least, after working hard to keep your marriage strong and intact, you must try to remember that nothing is perfect, however you can experience perfect moments-yes, but remember nothing is perfect all the time.

My grandparents understood this and one of my grandfather's favorite sayings was, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions," meaning you may have all good intentions, but sometimes things can go awry. It is what you do when things don't go quite the way you planned that can make it or break it.

Once you can realize this one simple thought, then you truly have a shot at making your marriage work and possibly last fifty plus years.


Read More on Making Your Marriage Work on Amazon:

Summing it up...

At this point in my life I have to credit my family, specifically my grandparents for the person, as well as writer I am and have become. So I felt it only fitting to dedicate article number fifty to them. And what better way to do this than write about their marriage in general if not to remember them, but to also try to help others who are married possibly make their marriage a bit better and even stronger by using some of the techniques I saw my grandparents utilize over and over again.



Fifty Articles and My Shout Out to Some Other Great Authors and People on Hubpages:

Also article fifty would not have happened on Hubpages, if not for the support and kindness of others in the Hubpage's community. I would like to take a moment to thank a few generous and wonderful people here that have truly made a difference in my life on Hubpage's.

1. josh3418--Josh is usually the first if not the first damn near close to it to always lend a helping ear to me and really is just a genuine, caring person, who is also so sincere with his support to me always. It is hard to remember a time I didn't know him even though it has only been a few short months. Josh can be serious, but his sense of humor is one of the best by far (and I only wish I could write a bit more with this type of humor) and one of the funniest by Josh is: http://josh3418.hubpages.com/hub/How-I-Won-The-Recipe-Contest-of-2012. This truly is says it all!!!

2. billybuc--Bill has been such a valued part of my experience here at Hubpages too and also not a day goes by where he is not looking out for me or so many others who follow him. His support is invaluable to me and must tell you I aspire to write like him by painting a mental picture of what I truly want others to see and feel when they read an article by me. If you haven't read an article by Bill yet, may I suggest: http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/Home-Town-America-Charles-City-Iowa-1959. I must tell you I cried while reading this one and he truly just has a way with his words.

3. Sunshine625--Linda(Sunshine625) is truly our resident sunshine if I ever met sunshine physically this is what I would picture. She truly is such a warm and energizing person, truly just like I would imagine the sun to be. She was also one of the first to welcome me and has also become someone I feel very fond of too. A day without Linda for me, would truly be like a day without sunshine. If you haven't read one of her articles, I think this one is where you should start: http://sunshine625.hubpages.com/hub/Sunshine-Random-Fun-Facts. This truly gives you, the reader a nice concise background about Sunshine625.

4. ChristyWrites: Christy, I confess has made me strive to be an even better writer than I am on my best day. Her writing style is so direct and in your face. I have learned a great deal by her writing tips from her many articles that do just that by teaching varied writing tips for other writers, including myself. Here is an exceptional read by Christy that has truly helped me and believe me will help you too: http://christywrites.hubpages.com/hub/Writing-tips-Ways-to-gain-the-trust-of-your-online-readers. I have this one pinned to refer to time and again, thanks Christy!!

5. Docmo: Docmo is also someone who I have learned to count on and has been a wonderful person that I have gotten to know on Hubpages as well. I have to tell you I am not only amazed by his writing, but his artistic abilities too. Anyone who has read this one will know exactly what I mean: http://docmo.hubpages.com/hub/Pooh-and-the-Art-of-Living-Self-Awareness. Seriously, he drew these graphics of Pooh Bear and friends himself for this article series and that takes major talent . The story is completely ingenious and yes I am completely humbled by being one of his followers.

6. Teaches12345: Dianna (Teaches12345) is truly been yet another kind and gracious writer on Hubpages who I have had the pleasure of getting to know a bit and truly have learned quite a bit from her about writing as well as some important life lessons, like this one: http://teaches12345.hubpages.com/hub/Dealing-With-Sibling-Rivalry-In-The-Home-conflict-in-children. Having two little girls of my own this one has come in handy quite a few times since the first time I read it (yes another article I have re-read).

7. Midget38: Michelle(Midget38) has truly also become someone that time and time again seems to be so on the same page with me it is a bit frightening, but in a good way. I truly enjoy reading her articles and one that I actually just recently read and could very much relate to is: http://midget38.hubpages.com/hub/a-teacher-voice. This one proves a teacher is a teacher no matter where they teach!

8. Lord de cross: Joseph (Lord de cross) is another writer who constantly amazes me with his versatility. Whether he is writing about teaching or being a bit more comical, i never know from one day to the next what I will read next. I think he likes to keep us on our toes, but again in a good way. This one I could totally relate to being a math teacher by trade myself: http://lorddecross.hubpages.com/hub/WHY-IS-MATH-SO-HARD. If I heard this question once, I heard it a thousand times teaching math.

Thank you to all of you and what can I say, but it is a pleasure to write alongside of you each and everyday now!!

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    • ronny2005 profile image

      ronny2005 4 years ago from HubPages

      Very Good Hub. Thanks for sharing. Voted up and shared.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Ronny2005, thank you so much for the lovely comment and for the votes and share as well. Very much appreciated!!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      What a beautiful tribute. First of all, congratulations on hub #50. That is fantastic and even better because you are a very good writer who writes quality each and every time.

      Congratulations to your grandparents; fifty years of marriage is an unbelievable achievement.

      Excellent hub my friend; your suggestions are right on!

      Finally, thank you for being the person you are. Anyone who follows you finds out quickly that you are genuinely a nice person, caring and loving. I am honored to be mentioned in this hub; if I have helped you in any way then it is I who is grateful and happy.

      You are a treasure my friend!

    • Janine Huldie profile image
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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Bill, first of all, thank you and I truly cannot say this enough to you my friend. You have helped me in more ways than one and I am truly humbled to know you and enjoy not only your writing but you the person behind that writing. I honestly have been playing around with this article for days and wanted it just so before hitting the publish button. I felt I needed to credit my family, but also those of you (you totally included) who have taken the time out of your busy days to get to know me and support me. I am just so thankful and grateful too for all the wonderful people that have become a part of my world recently. Thank you!!!!

    • josh3418 profile image

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Janine,

      I have no idea where to begin here! So, I will start here and hopefully be able to contain myself.

      I am so excited for this being your fiftieth hub, CONGRATULATIONS!!!

      Your tribute to your grandparents was profound, beautiful, compassionate and enduring. Your advice for marriage is amazing! Your grandparents must have had a truly awesome marriage! I can not even imagine it.

      The way you presented this hub was priceless, your compassion for the marriage of marriage is exuberant here! The dividers and table of content look awesome!

      And last but not least, I thank you so much for the awesome tribute you have given me here. That was so very kind of you; you have no idea what it means to me Janine! Thanks for mentioning awesome hubbers as well; I don't even feel worthy to mentioned with them!

      Fantastic 50th hub Janine, awesome job! I am glad to be following your work here on HubPages!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Congrats on your 50th Hub Janine! You continue to entertain us each day with your clever, creative hubs and I appreciate each and every one. You are supportive and a cheerleader to many fellow hubbers. We appreciate you. Thank you for your shout-out to me. Amazing hubbers such as yourself, Josh, Bill, Terrye, Michelle, Docmo, Carly, Julie, Christy and Dianna HP's just wouldn't be as exciting as it is. You rock!

    • Janine Huldie profile image
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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Josh, I am constantly humbled and amazed by you each day. I have been working on this for days and could not tell you the last part, because I wanted to surprise you and I truly just wanted to let you know how much you and the other Hub members mean to me. Without you and the others too, I would be nowhere at this point.

      As for my grandparents, their marriage was one for the history books for me. I was always just so amazed at their marriage and love for each other and really just never stopped wanting to have that kind of a bond. I think I did find a bit of that in my husband and for that I am truly thankful.

      Just know that I value and appreciate our friendship more than you can know or imagine. Thank you!!!

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I am honoured to be included in your hub Janine. I am touched by what you wrote about me. You are so genuine and I am glad we have connected. Thank-you my friend, and congratulations on hub #50! Here's to 50 more!

    • Janine Huldie profile image
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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Thank you Linda. I honestly felt like I just so needed to give back a bit and a shout out for you and the other amazing writers I have gotten to know on Hubpages was just what I felt was needed. Thank you over and over for your support and friendship. It means the world to me!!!

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Christy, I must say I meant when I said I love to read your articles and am constantly pinning them to refer to you. You truly just have such a way with your writing. Thank you for your constant support and friendship, because it means more than you know to me.

    • DeborahNeyens profile image

      Deborah Neyens 4 years ago from Iowa

      This is wonderful advice. I think all couples would benefit from your grandparents' example. Congrats on your 50th hub.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Deborah, thank you for saying that. I just hope that this could indeed someone else if they are in need of any marital advice. I truly do try to follow so much of their sage advice in my own marriage. Again thank you for your lovely comments and support!!

    • moonlake profile image

      moonlake 4 years ago from America

      Congrats on your 50th hub. If we both live to make it we will be married 50 years in Oct. Marriage is always work but now days I don't think to many try very hard. If things don't go their way they end the marriage. We just didn't do that. There were many times things didn't go my way or his. We stayed together no matter what because we loved each other. There are many good reasons to get out of a marriage. If anyone is in an abustive marriage than they need to get out, fast. Enjoyed reading your hub very interesting. Voted up.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Moonlake, congrats on 50 years this October and so very much agree about staying together because you love each other even if things don't necessarily go your way or his. That said, my parents too will be married 40 years in October too and have seen much from them as well, but mom too would say she learned most of what she knows from her parents (my grandparents) and that is why I stuck mostly to them in this particular article. Thanks you so much for stopping by, commenting and voting too!!

    • Julie DeNeen profile image

      Blurter of Indiscretions 4 years ago from Clinton CT

      Well this was quite the hub! As I started reading, I was so impressed with your Table of Contents! LOL...then I got sucked into the content, and then- I was mentioned?! What an encouragement!! Thank you so much, and you are such a wonderful friend on this site, lending your support and encouragement and sharing other people's work.

      As for the hub, I love articles about marriage!!!! Such a necessary and needed topic. Excellent job, I am voting up and sharing!

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 4 years ago from Florida

      I enjoyed the way you presented your thoughts in this Hub. You did an outstanding job.

      Congrats on your 50th. Hub!

      I voted this UP, etc.etc.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Julie, thank you for saying that about me. I feel the same about you too and that is why I felt I needed to include you and the other as well in this one. I really just wanted to say thank you for all the help and support. As for the table of contents, I worked my butt off on getting it to work and totally learned something new with trying this one out. I totally also agree about articles about marriage being so very relevant and necessary. Again thank you again for all your help and support. I consider you a friend indeed :)

    • Janine Huldie profile image
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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Mary, thank you for all the kinds words you have said here. I really do appreciate it and thank you too for the votes and share too

    • KevinC9998 profile image

      KevinC9998 4 years ago

      Janine: Wow, what a very thorough and well written hub which I voted up and interesting. I have only one question- do I have to???? :) Married 25 years so I'm half done - right?

      Nice job, Kevin

    • Janine Huldie profile image
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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Kevin, my husband's name is Kevin too and you sound like you have a similar sense of humor to him and could so hear him joking with that question too. Seriously, thank you so much for commenting here and congrats on 25 years too!!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 4 years ago from Singapore

      An honor, Janine! Am so glad to have made a new friend! And, this is really wonderful advice.....and I'm really, really touched. Let's find more in common! And the wonderful advice needs to be shared. Thanks again, Janine! Let's keep up the writing spirit!

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      Terrye Toombs 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Janine, I am SO happy you joined HubPages. Not because you mentioned me (ok, well maybe that helped - KIDDING!), but you have written some wonderful, fun to read hubs that I absolutely do not mind dropping everything for just to run to HubPages and read. You do an excellent job with whatever topic you decide to tackle and you're wonderful personality comes out in every one. You are a true joy to follow on both HP and on FaceBook. It's been my honor to get to know you.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Totally agree Michelle and definitely would love to find more in common and keep up with the writing spirit too. Thank you truly and so very glad to have gotten to know you.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Terrye, I too am so happy to have joined Hubpages and have to tell you I really do look forward to you latest and greatest article, because you truly do make me laugh and with two small kids i do need to have a pretty good sense of humor, plus I need a good adult laugh every now and again. Thank you seriously for all your kindness and for your continued support. I very much appreciate it.

    • CarlySullens profile image

      CarlySullens 4 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

      Janine, I am reading along and agreeing with every thing you said. I am enjoying the moment remembering my parent's marriage and focusing on my marriage.

      Then all of a sudden you did this tribute. I am agrees with all the names, and I saw one that looked familiar, it was mine! Thank you hubnugget sister.

      It is exciting to watch your friends grow and gain accomplishments. It propels me to keep trying and to not give up.

      I appreciate the shot out, but more so appreciate your hubs that are so necessary for people to gain perspective on life, marriage and families.

    • Janine Huldie profile image
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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Carly, it is so nice that you too could relate with marriage tips by remembering your own parent's marriage, as well as your own too. In this day and age, I think it is truly so nice to be able to look at another's marriage and aspire to be married for this long length of time and be happy too. So many of my friends growing up we're a product of divorce, but not only were mt grandparents still married, but my parents as well. And guess what when I met my husband, his grandparents and parents were also still married too.

      That said, I was so very happy to give a bit back too of my friends here on Hubpages too in this article. It truly was only fitting, but the right thing to do. Also, I truly am honored and thankful that we shared the Hub Nugget award together and couldn't think of anyone else I would have wanted to share it will my Hub Nugget sister!!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      I so enjoyed reading about your grandparents and how they influenced your life. What a role model for all couples to follow! Your points will certainly keep marriages strong and healthy. I agree on the not going to bed angry.. talk it out. (of course, that means you may not get much sleep some days! He, he). Janine, it is you I have to thank for being so supportive of my writing. I have also learned much from you. I am grateful for your mentioning me here, but just happy to be a friend to you. Blessings.

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      Joseph De Cross 4 years ago

      Wow Janine! You did it again! We were surprised by mentioning our names in here. Regarding your grandparents, they have taught you better than any book on sociology and politeness. You are a wonderful mom and its shown in your hubs. Like Billy said, you were born on the wrong decade. Your tips are wonderful and can help so many couples. Marriage is not easy when you stumble and fall after that seven year itch! Nice meeting you and thanks for mentioning so many friends in here! Bless your heart!

    • iefox5 profile image

      iefox5 4 years ago

      I wish I could find my beloved girl and marry her for more than fifty years. Thanks for sharing this.

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      It is my pleasure, Janine! I feel your pain about needing some adult interaction! I'm a stay at home mom of a 5 year old special needs boy. :)

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Dianna, thank you so much for saying such nice things about me, but I guess we are learning from each other, because truly feel like even in the few short weeks I have known you I have grown so much as a writer and for that I thank you. Also, very happy to be able to consider and call you a friend.

      As for the marital advice, I have to tell you I always looked up to my grandparents and admired their marriage and it was my pleasure to write some tips from what I saw from them over the years. Very much hoping that this can help someone else if they are in need.

      Thank you again for everything my friend!!

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Joseph, I was so very happy to mention you in this one and do feel that I have learned from you too, as well as become a friend on her as well. Thank you for all your kind words about me. I have to tell you who I am is truly because of my parents and grandparents, they were strict, yet totally loved me when I was growing up. I try to do the same now with my girls, because I love them and want them too to turn out being wonderful, loving women someday. Thank you again Joseph, I really do appreciate all of it!!

    • Janine Huldie profile image
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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Lefox5, I do hope that you can find your beloved girl too and spend 50 happy years with her. Sending good thoughts and vibes your way. Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Terrye, it sounds like that is why we can understand and relate with each. As you know, I a now a t stay at home mom of 2 little girls (3 years old and 20 months old) and I love them dearly, but sometimes the adult conversation is at a minimum around here too. Thanks again!!

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      Terrye Toombs 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      If I'm on FB and you need an almost adult with childish tendencies, to have a chat, lemme know! :) We can discuss potty training, temper tantrums, robbing a bank, corn up their noses, vacas in paradise, whateveah! :)

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Thanks for that offer and will most likely take you up on it!! Seriously all of the above sounds like it could lead to some interesting conversations especially the corn up their noses lol!!! Seriously, Terrye you never disappoint!!

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      breakfastpop 4 years ago

      Your advice is spot on. I think laughter may be number one! Up and awesome.

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Breakfastpop, thank you for the votes and share too and I also agree about the laughter. It is the number one thing that truly does make such a difference in the life in general.

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      penlady 4 years ago from Sacramento, CA

      This is a beautiful and inspiring hub for those of us still looking forward to marriage. It’s wonderful that your grandparents were a great inspiration to you. It’s actually an inspiration to all of us reading about them!

      I agree 100% that you should never go to bed angry. Never let the sun set and rise with animosity boiling in your heart for the person you’ve chosen to share your life with. Good point worth making.

      Voted up and beautiful.

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Penlady, thank you so much for saying such lovely things about my article and so very true that my grandparents were such an inspiration for me all of my life in their lives and death too.

      As for going to bed angry, I totally believe in this this one with all my heart and soul!! Thank you so much again :)

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      Trinity M 4 years ago

      What a wonderful hub Janine! First of all let me congratulate you on your 50th hub milestone; what a wonderful achievement!

      Secondly, I love your spin on the number 50! I am a huge believer in marriage, and as you say it sometimes gets difficult but I strongly believe in “happily ever after”. My parents have been married 53 years this year and I am almost at 12. I love being married to my husband and I look forward to being with him at 50 and beyond.

      Thirdly, what a wonderful tribute to all the amazing hubbers you mention. I follow all of them and they are as wonderful as you describe them.

      I loved this hub and I wish you great success for the next 50 and beyond! :) Voted up and awesome!

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Trinity, thank you so much for your thoughtful words and comment on here. I want you to know I do appreciate it. That said, a huge congrats to your parents who are married 53 years and to you too for being married 12 years. I am only at 6 as I said, but admire those who have made it so far and are in it for the long haul. Also, thank you for generous words about my article itself and for the votes and share too. Very much appreciated :)

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      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      Definitely from the heart. The warmth and joy you felt for your grandparents shines through in this hub, and every word of it is true! Yo didn't miss mucfh in your advice on how to stay married...whether its 5, 15 or 50!

      Your tribute to your fellow hubbers was an added surprise and nice read.

      Voted up, useful, awesome, and interesting.

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Mary, thank you so much for your lovely comments here. I was so very happy to share my grandparents true advice on marriage, because it was very much from them and their love that I too learned how to love and what a healthy marriage indeed was. As for the tribute, it was my pleasure and felt I truly needed to give back a bit after all that had been done for me by those up to that point. Thank you for the votes too!!

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      Julio E Olmo Sr 4 years ago from Florida, USA

      When Grandparents celebrated their 50th, I must admit I didn't the enormity of this accomplishment...not one couple in my family has reached it since nature & personal dramas have made this climbing Mt Everest type deal...happy to read that the enormity of the moment was not lost in you

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Julio, I was so proud of my grandparents for making it to 50 years and I too never knew anyone to be married that long before them. So I know what u mean about the enormity of the situation. Thank you for comment and kindness here :)

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      KDuBarry03 4 years ago

      Very useful and informative! I'm forwarding this to many of my friends looking to marry. Thanks for sharing the great information, Janine! Space, time, and understanding each other are the first and most important things to know and understand in a marriage.

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Thank you so very much Keith for your kind words here and for sharing with your friends who may be thinking of getting married. Marriage is great thing really, but the old saying is true and does apply here in good times and in bad. Understanding that is a huge key here. Thanks again for everything!!!

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      Rajan Singh Jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Janine, I'm somewhat late in congratulating you for your 50 hubs; still please accept my congratulations. This hub is a not only a fine tribute to your grandparents but also very useful in that you have shared some very practical tips to ensure a very workable marriage. I've been married for 30 years and I can say I agree with the ideas of your grandparents.

      The hubbers you mention here are an amazing bunch and I'm glad I follow most of them as often as I can.

      Great hub. Voted up and across. Sharing this on.

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Rajan Jolly, thank for congratulating me on 50 hubs and no worries, just happy that you did get to read my article. I totally understand, because as much as I try to keep up on a daily basis I think something always seems to fall through the cracks, sometimes it just happens and can't be helped. Seriously thank you for your kind words, votes and share too. So very appreciated!!

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      carol stanley 4 years ago from Arizona

      First time reader of this hub. Loved it and it is certainly filled with lots of wise advice. thanks for sharing.

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Carol, thank you for saying that and so very happy that you got to stop by and read now :)

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      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      My Grandparents were married for just over 60 years before my Grandfather passed away. It's a long time, as is 50 years! I've only been married for 5 years and can't even imagine getting to 60, let alone 50!

      Thanks for sharing your tribute to your Grandparents - beautifully written and from the heart, and offering some wonderful pieces of advice that all married couples can benefit from. Voted up!

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Melanie, wow 60 is a long time too and congrats to your grandparents too for making it that far. I am also married a little over 6 years and can totally relate when you say that you can't even imagine making 50 or 60 years, because it truly does seem like a long way off. Thank you for your kind words and for your votes too!!

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      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Wonderful, wonderful hub! Congratulations on your 50th hub and to your GP for making it that far. Not many would surpass a long and lasting marriage. I have just celebrated my 24th anniversary with my husband that I even have to hub about it as well, because I'm proud and feel blessed about it, hence the urge to share it through HP (Marriage: 24 years and still juicy).

      Such enjoyable read on this Saturday afternoon. Voted up and across and will definitely share. The world has to know!

      P.S. Awesome work on giving thanks and acknowledging our fellow hubbers.

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      CrisSp, congrats on 24 years. That is a huge accomplishment and do hope I will get to read about your story (you are totally right that you have every reason to share and brag a bit too) Thank you so much for your detailed and lovely comments. I have also followed you and look forward to reading a bit more from you too :) Thank you leo for the votes and share too!!

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      jenbeach21 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Thanks for the great hub and marriage advice. I agree with all the above and know that to make a marriage succeed, it truly takes hard work.

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Jen, thank you for your reply and I too agree with the majority here that it is indeed hard to keep a marriage going and to be successful.

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      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      You still get a yeehaw from me for this excellent hub! :)

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      Sasha Kim 4 years ago

      I should have read this one sooner! ^_^ I LOVE it ^_^ Now if only I could get my husband to read it and be on the same page! I'd be in wedded bliss ^_^ Voting a bunch and sharing!!

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      Mary Hyatt 4 years ago from Florida

      I enjoyed reading your Hub this morning! A nice tribute to your grandparents and to your Hubber friends. I'm glad to be one of your followers here.

      I voted this Up

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Mary, so happy to have you following and to follow you, too. I totally appreciate all your kind words here and the votes too :) :)

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Sasha, thank you for stopping by and loved your comment. Believe it or not my husband finally reads my writing after how long let alone get him to read someone else's lol!! Thank you seriously for the comment, votes and shares too!!

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Oh Linda, I love you and so happy to see you back here. Yeehaw right back at you too :) :)

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      Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

      You have shared some good points regarding happy married life. When I get married, I will definitely remember your advice.

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Thank you Vinaya and glad to be able to give some pointers and help out a bit too :)

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      Louisa Rogers 4 years ago from Eureka, California and Guanajuato, Mexico

      Janine, I really enjoyed this. I am one of the fortunate few who has been married a long time (34 years) so I always like to see what others did that kept them together. I like the story of your grandfather taking a walk. Sounds good! Voted up and interesting.

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Oh thanks so much Louisa for reading and also sharing about your own marriage. Congrats on 34 years and in this day and age that is a feat to say the least :) As for my grandfather taking his walk, it always did seemt o bring him some sort of peace and calmness, too. Thank you also for the votes!!

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      Jay Manriquez 4 years ago from Santa Rosa, California

      Excellent tips! I married at 18 and this coming April will have been married 41 years...getting there. Your tip #1, "learn to laugh" has been practiced thoughout those 41 years and we've never had a dull moment. All the other tips are also very important and we are still working hard at it because we know just how imperfect we are!!

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      INFJay, congrats on 41 years of marriage and still going strong. I love hearing about others who have wonderful marriages and thank you so much for sharing here. Glad to share too :)

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      Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

      I loved your hub, Janine. It is resourceful yet fun. I am in aww of most of the hubbers you have mentioend there...useful hub.

      I have linked up your hub to mine :) Thanks!

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      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Oh thanks so much Ruchira and I am so happy to have this article linked up with yours now, too!!

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      Thelma Alberts 3 years ago from Germany

      What a great hub! I think I´m on the right path. I´m 32 years married to the same man. I´m already practicing those tips that you have since I got married. Being married is not easy especially my own as my hubby and I are of different cultures and traditions. We have worked hard for having a healthy marriage. Thanks for sharing this hub. Voted up and shared;-)

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      Janine Huldie 3 years ago from New York, New York

      Thank you so much Thelma for your kind words, sharing a bit about your own relationship and the votes, too!

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