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Human relationships and women - Relationship advice

Updated on December 20, 2011

Human Relationship and women

What is it with women and relationships? my friend asked. I proceeded to give her a long reply, but it was so long that I thought I might as well deal with the subject here. What is it with women and human relationships? Why do they want to make a friend out of every colleague, a husband out of a friend, a soul mate out of a husband, a baby out of a dog? Well, I can go on and on. The simple answer is that, women are wired that way. They are wired to love, to give, to nurture, to encourage, cherish and restore what is broken. As a child, a girl plays with dolls, relates and simulates life on a small scale, while most boys play with cars and guns and stuff. My aim here is not to stuff women into gender role boxes, but to point out the nature of things.


Understanding Women - Men women relationships

Most woman are so hooked on to relationships that they are willing to sacrifice anything for it. They do not mind the sacrifice, as long there is a semblance of relationship. Now this word ‘relationship’ is not confined to a romantic relationship. I am talking about women as relational beings, the links between humanity, the bricks of networking and closeness.

If you have five men in one place they might introduce themselves, talk about work and then they would be back to their gadgets, not because they are busy, but because they don’t know what to say next. Just imagine a slight change in this scenario...add one woman to the five men; the woman would first handle each man individually, get to know each one. establish a rapport and would have a conversation going and would be the link between the men. She would know each person’s likes and dislikes and all the things that are important to the other by the end of the day. She would have formed bonds and found out ways to be in touch with them, if she had anything in common with them. Without women and the trouble they go to, to maintain relationship, I wonder if many relationships would exist beyond the closest everyday ones in these busy times.

Men women relationships - Relationship advice

Women are relationship oriented, and that is where the nurturing and protective nature towards children and family comes from. Most women do not feel complete without a child or a man to call their own. Their possessive and protective nature is a kind of territorial behaviour, which both men and women exhibit.
A man guards his territory, when he knows what he wants, but is unsure of the other person’s feelings or when he feels threatened. They may not always show the same degree of possessiveness once they have made the person their own. Men are more possessive of their gadgets and gizmo's, while women are mainly concerned with people who she thinks of as hers. Commitment is more in the woman’s line of thinking.

Apart from the possessive or territorial behaviour, a woman displays finer qualities such as, trust, love, and the ability to share. They are instinctively able to trust and open up with some people, but not all. The daring and the willingness of a woman to take risks with relationships is often more than what you find in most men. Of course with changing times and demands, a woman has evolved into a harder and more complicated version of what she was meant to be, but at the core she is still the same. If you are smart, you would know what a woman wants and how to be the center of attention in the life of a woman.

What attracts men - what drives men off

A woman is an emotional creature, and relationships provide her the emotional support, love, warmth, security and comfort that she needs. She is wired to relate to people, to feel whole and complete in herself. If that opportunity is not there, some women do turn narcissistic, so caught up in themselves. I am sure most men would prefer to have a warm, giving woman, rather than a hard grabbing woman, who is narcissistic to boot. The very reason men are attracted to women is because of their emotional nature and yet it is the very thing that scares and drives them away. Most men get used to the world of being cold and distant and when a woman gets too close to those hitherto un-accessed areas of their life, they might feel insecure and threatened. They could also feel that they may display their weak side, which would make them vulnerable and perhaps allow women to take control over their lives.

Women, on the other hand, do find men who are cold and distant or even those who cannot emote appropriately hard to relate to. All that they expect from men, is to be normal, connected and compassionate. To move and be moved with the things that happen around them. Some women would even pursue men who are cold and distant in the hope of making them human, putting their own happiness at risk in the process. This could lead them into abusive and unhealthy relationships. Striking the right emotional balance in relationships is the key.

In healthy relationships, women often seek to bring out the best in others. Women are necessarily encouragers and nurturers. A normal woman would seek to empower, rather than take over and control. Women just need to hold on, not posses. They are just happy to hold on, because it gives them a sense of security and connectedness. Relationships are what provide the atmosphere for women to be what they are best at, to love and give of themselves.

Men, with their instinctive need to possess and subjugate are the ones who need to be in control and mark territory. They would also defend territory, but only when threatened and could take things for granted, leaving the women unattended to. A woman left out in the cold is often frustrated and develops different methods of coping with the most important area of her life, her emotional life. What is amazing is that women are often made out to be such complicated and wily beings, who are too hard to understand.

Without women, the world would indeed be a sad place. Imagine a world without relationships, distant islands that are unconnected. There would be no life or liveliness in them, dead to the world of technology and business. A colorless, emotionless and meaningless world lacking in depth and dimension. Women bring joy and life, color and shades of them, passion and emotion into the world. Women make relationships and network and shrink our social world into a connected paradise.


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    • sofs profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      Thank you Denise, this has been a subject close to my heart, I am sure you could sense the passion there.. yet there were not many takers for this one.. ironic isn't it? Baffling subject indeed.. looks like I have scared folks off this :) Thanks for the +1 I truly appreciate that, with all my heart. Thank you sweet heart! Love you!! :D

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 

      6 years ago from North Carolina

      I love the simplicity of the first paragraph: "women are wired that way" That is it in a nutshell isn't it?

      Great article on a baffling subject, Sofs. Rated up.

    • sofs profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      Glad that you found this hub interesting...but people are truly interesting. Well I do come across some women who are not adept at bonding but I would say that the number is more with men...I wouldn't say they are in-adept but could use some help. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

    • nifwlseirff profile image

      Kymberly Fergusson 

      6 years ago from Villingen Schwenningen, Germany

      Interesting! How often in your professional work do you come across women who are not adept at forming bonds, or men who are adept?

    • sofs profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      Adrienne, that comment was real fast. Working with women (mainly) as a mental health professional does help.. bring more understanding to the subject. I am glad this hub makes sense to you... there is a lot of recent research on the subject that might interest you...Thank you for your kind words and God bless!

    • adrienne2 profile image

      Adrienne F Manson 

      6 years ago from Atlanta

      Very interesting article, you really have an indepth understaning of human relationships. What you said really makes sense and explains why women, and men react a certain way in relationships. Voted up!


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