- Gender and Relationships»
Infidelity... 9 Signs Of Cheating In A Marriage
Cheating and the 9 signs to look for in your reltionship...
Infidelity in marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce in many countries, tearing apart homes and disrupting the lives of many children, knowing why husband and wife’s cheat is important, as is learning what the signs of cheating actually are.
One study has shown that 2/3 women (26-36 million women) whose husbands were unfaithful had no idea of the affair, largely due to a failure on their part to recognize the tell tail signs.
Just being suspicious of an affair is hurtful enough and the anger that swiftly follows that hurt can led many to a first mistake when dealing with this situation in relationships.
By confronting your partner with accusations of an affair, two things instantly will happen.
First, you have straight away entered into denial, he will look you in the eye and lie, and he may even get angry and turn it all around on you, "How could you ask me that?"
"I thought our relationship was better than this" the list goes on... only 7% of men confess to an affair without prompting, and a large 67 % of men will never confess to cheating and will only do so when undeniable proof is in front of them, leaving a very small ratio of men who will confess when first asked.
The second thing that happens is that if he (or she) is having an affair, he will be even more careful now, making your work at finding the truth that much harder, as you have just tipped your hand in a big way.
As hard as it might sound, you have to play your cards close to your chest, keep control of your suspicion and look for further signs of infidelity before confronting your partner.
I am not suggesting that you snoop, or invade their privacy to find evidence but by simply paying attention to them and your relationship you may find more than enough to start with...
9 Signs of cheating
1. Defensive Behavior
He or she may start to be overly critical with you, gets angry over smaller issues than usual. Adulterer's can also be overly sensitive or closed off about their actions not wishing to justify or explain themselves.
2. Changes in affection and sex.
A dropping of everyday affection and small intimacies may not be noticed straightway, but the lack of those small little details will add up, as your partner may avoid touching you as much as they once may have, less cuddling, kissing and terms of endearment.
Sex if it doesn’t drop off completely may lack the affection and tenderness it once had, your partner may want to suddenly try new things in the bedroom with you being more dominant and self-sure.
3. Lifestyle, habits and attitude changes.
if slowly over time patterns and habits that have long been in place are replaced with new interests and hobbies that don’t include you, any changes in his daily routine that change without any warning or explanation to you his partner are all reasons to be concerned below are a few other things that i believe fall under this heading as well...
*Your partner grows indifferent to family events, holidays birthdays etc.
*Your partner doesn’t want to go anywhere with you
*your partner leaves their religion or starts a new one out of the blue
*Partner seems bored
*Gets lazy around the house
*suddenly possessive over personal items such as phone, computer, wallet and car
*Picks fights in order to leave in a huff and be uncontactable
*Starts keeping an overnight bag in car or office
*mutual friends start to behave differently (either they know or you have been vilified to them)
*Unexplained phone calls at odd times
4. Unexplained Absences.
Any unexplained Absences or time lost should be of concern. Working back at late at the office, more business meetings than usual, trips away, working over the holidays, and even shorter snippets of time, like an unusually long dog walk, a trip to the shops takes three hours instead of half. Of course some of these can have innocent explanations, he or she may be working extra hard, or really did meet that friend up the road for coffee unexpectedly
But if it’s happening frequently with other things on this list, then it most defiantly becomes a sign of an unfaithful partner.
5. Financial woes.
Money starts to become an issue as he (or she) is spending more outside the relationship, Bills being ferreted away out of your sight, locked or taken to work is deceptive and a clear sign that something is going on that he doesn’t want you to know about.
6. Wardrobe changes.
Nothing like a wardrobe renovation to set the alarm bells ringing, this can be as subtle as wearing a new cologne or perfume to an all-out new look. Paying more attention to their appearance may be indicator that there is someone they are trying to please,
7. Communication problems.
If your partner is having an affair there may be less communication between you, he may avoid spending time with you and when does he is less likely to want to talk , he or she may come across as secretive, defensive, starting fights with you or avoiding them all together.
The use of stories, excuse and sometimes all out lying can erode the trust in a relationship faster than anything else and can be the calling card of living with a cheater.
But any sign of emotional withdrawal like this in a marriage should be discussed as it may have other reasons than infidelity, but it makes this list for a reason and shouldn’t be discounted especially if your partner is displaying other signs on this list.
8. Alone time.
Your partner may start expressing a need for solitude, or time with his friends, even going as far as to encourage you yourself to go out more, to spend time with family and friends without him which of course would free him up more time for other "pursuits".
9. Follow your instincts.
You know your relationship better than anyone and just the very fact that you asking the question in the first place tell you that something is wrong follow your instincts, if your gut tells you that something is off then check it out.
A lot of these signs on the list can have many innocent reasons individually, but research done has shown that these 9 important factor when added together are very good guide when trying to find the truth of infidelity in marriage.
I am a big believer in truth and honesty in marriage, try to talk with your partner be open to hear the worst and hopefully you will receive the same in return.
Not every marriage who suffers an affair ends in divorce, time and counseling can do wonders if the love and the willingness to forgive and change is there.
Have You Ever Cheated On Your Partner?
As shown on the Dr Phil and Oprah