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Infidelity....Why Husbands Cheat

Updated on March 15, 2011


As the biggest cause of Divorce, Knowing why men cheat may be the very information wives and brides to know to save their relationships, as most of the causes for infidelity can be prevented with a bit of time, work and love.


Some men cheat to reclaim the excitement of the lives, finding out that the life they thought they wanted, has more responsibility to it and less fun, especially after children are added to the mix. The life of being a husband and father day in and day out can become rather boring for some guys.

So the thrill of new conquest, a new relationship where, everything not just the sex, is stimulating to them. This is a very physical only relationship, most men who cheat for this reason are not looking to form an emotional bond, It about the physical thrill, of something different.


Sometimes men cheat on their wives due to a lack of self esteem. Men have all the same hang-up as women do when they look in a mirror and see their aging self. Cheating on their wives is a way to boost their ego, recapture their youth. To not see the rounding middle or bald patch developing. no longer willing to sit by and let life pass them, men who cheat for this reason are often labelled as having a mid life crisis.

Emotional disconnection.

It’s easy to look elsewhere when there is no connection at home; feeling under appreciated and over looked by their wives makes cheating an emotional life line to some of the men who cheat for this reason.

Lack of interest from their partner in what they are doing, wearing or even how work went, can make them vulnerable to outside interests from a third party. Being told they are worth something, and needed go's a long way in turning, a man's head. Just as it does for us women.

Men have all the feelings that we do with only half the skills to express it. Men want to make their wives proud, to please them and to feel like they are providing well. They need this connection with their wives or they will look for it elsewhere.


As sexual creatures men actually need to have sex, and if they are not going to have it with you then they will find someone else to have it with.

Not all of us are porn stars, and thank god that’s not what most husbands need. But one of the biggest reasons that sex can be a factor in your husband cheating is about how much sex you having together.

Men need to know that they are going to be satisfied by their wives, they need to know they can bring home any sexual frustrations to you their wife.

It is not about how good the sex is, or wether or not you swing of the chandeliers. It’s about frequency, about the time spent being intimate and how that makes him feel, wanted as a man a loved as a husband.

Especially if you initiate it, goes a long way to showing him how much you love and adore him and want to do something nice, just for him ( and hopefully you)

Cheater at heart

Some men, the rare ones cheat because they can, cheat because they want to, not always for the same reasons, but they enjoy the game of cheating. These men will never want to change what they do or care how their actions hurt others. The only thing to do with a man like this, in my opinion is to leave the situation behind you and keep your head held high...

If infidelity is an issue in your marriage then I recommend that before doing anything, you both take some time to talk with a marriage counsellor, to decide together if your marriage and love is worth fighting for


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    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 5 years ago from Australia


      sadly yes...

    • profile image

      miya 5 years ago

      it's true

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 5 years ago from Australia

      Thank you so very much, some times an unwelcome topic but much needed informaton,

    • Yaduvanshi profile image

      Yaduvanshi 5 years ago from Bharat Vrse

      Good hub

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 6 years ago from Australia

      I completely agree with what your saying, that once endangering behavior has been identified the wife ( you) should always take precautions to ensure not only your safety but your health, you have every reason to be angry and hurt and I can only hope that things get better for you as you go

    • profile image

      illustrator5 6 years ago

      How about finding condoms in the glove box and being told they don't know why they are there....then two weeks they are gone only to be replaced by another this time in the console....the truck is growing condoms! We're not talking another woman but going into dangerous neighborhoods and picking up NO ONE should tolerate risky behavior that can have serious consequences for the unsuspecting wife!

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 7 years ago from Australia

      I am really glad that you found this useful, with infidelity on the rise with both sex's it is great to know what some of the main causes are.

    • nell79 profile image

      nell79 7 years ago from United States

      You are so right on these points of what causes infidelity. Well done and very useful article!

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 7 years ago from Australia

      some great points, cheating is a very hurtful thing to do, thanks for adding your thoughts to this painful subject...

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 7 years ago

      Both men and women cheat for the same reasons, It's easier than going through a messy breakup or bitter divorce. The cheater wants to hold onto what is good in their relationship and fill in the gaps/needs else where. However if one is caught they usually end up breaking up. Basically there are 3 types of cheaters.

      1. The Incessant cheater (easily bored, imature, always looking for something new or enjoys the thrill, loves to flirt)

      2. The Unbelievable opportunity cheater. (They weren't "looking" to cheat but a hot looking person, old school crush. celebrity, or famous person came on to them which they felt they could not pass up a "once in a lifetime chance" to be with.

      3. The Discontented Cheater (This person believed they had found their soulmate...And then things changed. No sex or "vanilla sex", taken for granted, verbal or physically abused,nagged or put down...etc. Then one day someone comes along pays attention to them and causes them to feel worthwhile again. She/he feels "justified". We either nurture or neglect our relationships.

      As a mate you really can't do anything about the first two types of cheaters. However The Discontented Cheater is someone you may wish to consider forgiving and working hard to repair the damage in the relationship.

      She/He has usually tried to ask for what they wanted or needed in a relationship but they were "ignored".

      Cheating is a selfish cowardly act perpetrated by those who lack the courage to end one relationship before stepping out into another one. Cheaters like people in general, will do whatever they feel they need to do in order to be happy.

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 7 years ago from Australia

      communication is a huge factor, if a partner can trust their spouse and talk about the fact that they are feeling disconnected or bored with the relationship, then as a couple they work towards fixing that,

      but sadly for so many people this type of communication is difficult and filled with fear...

      thanks so much for your comment, communication is the one word every one hears about marriage but it is often the most ignored thing in a marriage...

    • acaetnna profile image

      acaetnna 7 years ago from Guildford

      You have made many interesting points here. Infidelity happens so often these days, mainly I believe due to a refusal to initially communicate.

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 7 years ago from Australia

      Being a hopeless romantic I always feel bad when marriage breaks down for whatever reason, but cheating hurts the most. forewarned is forearmed :)

      thanks :)

    • Lovingu profile image

      Lovingu 7 years ago from London

      It is so sad and it happens all too often. Couples need to work at their marriage and not give up at the first hurdle. Enjoyable hub, great.

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 7 years ago from Australia

      considering how many couples experience infidelity within their marriages, I found this to be a fascinating study, that opened my own eyes within my own marriage, Thank you so much for stopping by

    • Setharion profile image

      Brenden 7 years ago from Australia

      I would agree that the loss of passion and feeling of togetherness in a relationship could lead that way on both sides. As a snap shot for guys why we could cheat I think you have touched on the usual concepts that may cause us to stray. Well written and interesting angles. Thanks for sharing

    • nighthag profile image

      K.A.E Grove 7 years ago from Australia

      Totally agree :)

    • profile image

      hubpageswriter 7 years ago

      Cheating can occur in marriages. Both husbands and wives can argue about this whenever the other cheats.