ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Sex after Married

Updated on December 23, 2011
expand your horizions
expand your horizions

Married Sex

Sex plays an important part in any relationship and a good relationships often relies on good sex. But, sex should never be the only thing holding the relationship together. The influence of the promise of sex can be overwhelming for some people, even to the point of being unhealthy for one’s personal well being. And along this same thought, having a lack of interest in sex can be unhealthy for a relationship.

Let’s examine some of the most common misconceptions associated with sex and marriage.

One of the biggest on my list is that; sex stops after marriage. You hear it from your friends before the wedding, “your sex life is over now” or “sex will be just a memory”.

These saying are designed to instill hesitation in your mind about the whole relationship. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe sex will be better? In stable relationships often as people learn more and more about each other, the more comfortable they become with each other. This, in turn, leads to finding out about each others likes and dislikes when it comes to sex. Also, as a relationship grows, honesty about each feels about sex become more apparent. The dating sex game disappears rather quickly once you spend a few months living together.

Next on my list is “after a few years with the same person sex gets boring”. This doesn’t have be the case. I have talked several couples that have found ways to keep sex great even after twenty years of being together. One of the most common factors that I have found is that they have isolated that part of the relationship. In other words, no matter what else the relationship has endured, work stress, children and financial problems get left at the bedroom door. They have also tried to keep things interesting, like date nights and surprise meetings. There seems to be something said for anticipation. On date night for example: talking about what’s going to happen when you get home, the night out seems to last longer when you are looking forward to the conclusion.

As you can see married sex can be more fulfilling than the dating scene and the excitement can remain long after the honeymoon. If you are having problems in your married sex life, maybe you should try a few of the things that I mentioned above.

There is one more thing that I would like to mention. If you are in an open relationship, as some people call it, I suggest trying to examine the rest of your relationship. Sure, there are a lot of people that say having variety in their sex partners makes sex with their spouse more exciting. There may be a more underlying problem in their relationship. There may a feeling of being neglected by one or both people. The need for the companionship of others often times is really a search for intimacy they don’t get at home. Sex becomes a vehicle for finding comfort in more ways than just sex. There can be missing pieces in their relationship and rather than confront the truth, they just accept the idea that it’s better this way. The fear of facing truth that they are really unhappy can be more painful than the thought of a spouse having sex with a total stranger. People tend to ignore this fear and when the relationship finally falls apart they blame it on one of the partners paying too much attention to an outside party. When really it is the fact they failed to pay attention to each other’s problems to begin with.

I know that you young single people out there that are reading this are probably wondering about age and sex. Don’t worry; your parents are probably having as much sex as you are. Sex, as with most things is mostly mental. When you have had the same partner for 20 years, you have aged together and you don’t see yourself the way others do. When your relationship is strong enough to survive through the years, sex has been a big part of it. Yes, the drugs that they sell now may have help to revive a stronger sex life for some, but the will and the want has always been there. The little blue pill can’t make you love someone, but it may help show that you still do.

In closing, there are a lot of factors to a healthy relationship and sex is a part of it. The main thing is to always be friends, this way you will always have a friend with benefits.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • MsQuestion profile image

      MsQuestion 

      7 years ago from New Jersey

      Married is definitely better! I agree!

    • dawnM profile image

      Dawn Michael 

      7 years ago from THOUSAND OAKS

      Hi R. yes sex in marriage can be fantastic if you want it to be, that is the point!!!!

      when you get married and you love your spouse, that is the person that you want to have great sex with, mind blowing sex with, but that stops after years of marriage, so couples need to reinvent themselves and their sex lives!!!

      Great article

    • profile image

      Rookie70 

      7 years ago

      Thank you for your inspiration, I could borrow from you to help me with my next topic. Thanks. I appreciate your wealth of info.

    • profile image

      boinkz01 

      8 years ago

      yeah where did you find a woman like that? mine changed right after we were married, but stupid me i was young and in love and stayed, the only time this frigid, no touch, uncaring c%$# ever wanted any sex was to get pregnant. before we were married she was awesome! since i came from a broken home and my sperm donor was useless, i made a promise to myself i would never be like that to my children! so yeah i have suffered through this for 25 yrs. i still have a son 14, when he turns 18, its see ya later bitch!

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 

      8 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Well written and informative. Married sex has proven to be more fulfilling, in so many different ways, than I could ever have imagined.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)