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Updated on May 24, 2009

Send initial contact email

As far as making first contact I've run into two different schools of thought in The first is to make the initial move via the mechanisms listed below. The second school of thought will be addressed in the next bold captioned heading.

  • Winks
  • Emails
  • Live Chat

As a general rule I tend to stray away from the use of winks. Due to there simplicity many men engage in the use of winks with little success.(Winks are simple one button clicks they say, Hey! I'm interested in you!) My goal when contacting women is to be as different from the standard as possible.

My prefered method of initial contact are emails. With that in mind it is important to remember that women do in fact get 8x more emails than men therefore yours must standout. It is of utmost importance that you actually read your potential dates profile and really understand what's important to her. When writing that initial email be sure to address points made in her profile. For example, if height appears to be her issue: "6'3 guy to the rescue. (That is of course if your 6'3) If she is looking for witty: "I'm an excellent cook, My specialization are boiling water, burning toast, and on top of all that I make a mean bowl of frosted mini wheats." These are all decent examples of an attention grabbing profile. If done correctly this will lead your potential mate back to your profile in which was discussed here.

It should be noted that sending the initial contact email is not for the faint of heart. You will not always be successful. In fact you will probably have more non-success than success. As a general rule I try to only respond if I happen to fit the description of what "Miss" is looking for. The most important categories are: race, age, height, activity level. Yes, there are exceptions to every rule but I found following those parameters make sending the initial contact email more successful.

Lastly, instant chat can be used to make that connection. I tend to stray away from chat as it seems to be difficult and a clunky tool to use plus it renders your best asset useless. "Cutting through traditional Layers"

Not to send initial contact email

 The "not to send initial contact email" should be used for those who have patience and have signed up for at least 3 months in the online dating universe. The beauty of this method is your essentially in ambush mode as you wait for mates to contact you. You can be sure that when you are emailed by the " woman" there is genuine interest and she is just not responding to you because you responded to her. One of your traits displayed on your profile was significant enough to warrant contact. I cannot emphasize this point strongly enough.

When do I ask her for contact information

 As a general rule I try to get concrete information as soon as possible. I am of the opinion that your profile should do most of the talking for you therefore my initial emails to you are just an extension of that profile. When asking for a number I generally stick with the witty approach that has been spelled out throughout the text. For example " Jane Doe, Well I'm going to put my man pride on the line here but, is there anyway I can contact you sometime so we can go buy a nerf football and drink green tea while we dig for earthworms?" Again statements like that lower your creepy guy factor which reinforces, yes there are normal fun guys on the internet.


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