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BEWARE of your donated cash for domestic violence support!

Updated on November 21, 2017
Mary Ann Behling profile image

Where are your donations going? Your donated money is not available to help victims of domestic abuse get out, stay out and start over!

Domestic violence is when a spouse, partner or anyone that lives inside the home intentionally inflicts physical, emotional, sexual or psychological pain and suffering to another person living in that home. It could be a spouse, partner or roomate.

Help Us Directly Before It's Too Late

Everyone is well aware of what domestic violence is and leads up to. What needs to be known is where does the money go that is donated with the intention of helping victims escape and start a new life. HUGE businesses, agencies, groups and organizations take millions of cash dollars and they all tell victims the exact same thing when you try to get help! They will tell you there are no funds currently available, they only donate to organizations ( who say the same ), or they will give you a list of phone numbers to call for help. I am speaking from first hand experience as I have called literally ALL of those numbers and it full circled right back to the first number I called for help. Absolutely nothing was accomplished and I am now being evicted because of their lies! If you donated money to help people like me...please don't do it again unless you directly help someone in need. They ALL LIE and make up slogans and other misleading advertisements so you give to them to help people like me and now I will be evicted out onto the streets of California for Christmas this year unless I get real help.


I am working on making a list and will post everyplace I contacted begging for help to prevent my eviction, what they advertise that lead me to them for help, as well as their response to my inquiries. I just started working on this article so I will add new groups as I can, and I will let you all know when my list is complete.

Mary Kay Grants Foundation-Unfortunately, our policy does not allow for individual grants. Rather, medical grants are awarded to help fund innovative research studies for cancers affecting women, including ovarian, uterine, breast and cervical cancers. In addition, The Mary Kay Foundation grants financial assistance to women’s shelters and other non-profit agencies that share in the effort to stop violence.

Verizon Wireless Hopeline-
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Our HopeLine program supports non-profit organizations that serve domestic violence survivors. We do not make grants or loan phones to individuals. Please let me know if you'd like me to check to see if we support an organization near you. I'm happy to provide some contact information.
Be well,Heidi

Avon Foundation-Thank you for your interest in and request for support from the Avon Foundation for Women.

While the federal government prohibits the Avon Foundation for Women from providing financial support directly to any individual, I am happy to suggest the following resource that may be of assistance:

· The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides 24-hour assistance to anyone experiencing domestic violence. The Hotline has highly trained advocates and callers can talk confidentially and seek resources. For more information: 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or regards,Nancy

National Domestic Violence Hotline-


National Network to End Domestic Violence-Washington-Contact-Cindy Southworth-

Alternatives to Domestic Violence

Salvation Army

Lutheran Social Services

Catholic Charities

Every 9 Seconds

Department of Public Services

County Housing Offices


California Wellness Grants

211-Community Connect

Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence/CAEPV

Voices of Victims


District Attorney's Advocate

HUD/Section 8

Knights of Columbus

United Way

Joyful Heart Foundation

A Little of My Own Story

I was married for 30 years to an extremely violent, controlling, abusive man. He's broken both my eye sockets at once, ribs, arms, pressed knives hard against my throat and his last act was to take a loaded shotgun, point it at our son who suffers from TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) and he pulled the trigger! The only reason my son is alive today is because the safety was latched on the gun preventing it from shooting. When the police took him that day, I finally saw the light! You cannot see into your own deadly, vicious circles while you are inside them. I was used, lied to and brain washed little, by little for three decades into living the life I became used to, thinking I could make it better, and until he was finally removed from the house, I never knew how horribly bad we were all living!

This man had been arrested a minimum of 10 times for violent crimes and he was sent to "anger management" classes, mental health court and the list goes on and on. Those were the times I was able to access a phone or run away after coming to from being choked out in the kitchen. The holes in our walls were huge and they came from him choking me and smashing my head through out walls! I was made to think I was a horrible woman, person, and wife and it was my fault! There was "always" a reason that made him do these things.

When he was taken away this last time I was slapped in the face with a reality of having literally nothing to survive on. I hadn't worked for so many reasons and that's the way he kept it. I never realized it until he was gone, but when I had tried to have jobs, I either left out of embarrassment from huge black eyes, constant phone calls on the job checking to see if I was really there, or I was told by him a wife should be at home taking care of her family and tending to the house. Along with all of the cooking and cleaning, I had to do the yard work, clean the garage and hang the Christmas lights. When he went to prison, I found out that he wasn't paying the rent, truck payment or any other bills, which left me completely financially devastated! My credit is ruined, I lost the truck and have to walk everywhere we need to go. My son has to see a ton of doctors regularly for his head injury and most days we are lucky if we get to eat one meal. People don't realize how hard and time consuming walking to appointments is, but it takes all day long. I have been fighting with disability for months and months trying to get my son an income to help pay our bills and possibly eat normal again! I can't just go to the store and buy shampoo, dish soap or laundry detergent anymore. I do not have family to lean on through this either. My little brother died in his sleep when he was only 39 years old. My grandma passed away right after he did, and a couple of years ago, two days before Thanksgiving, my mom passed away while at work from an aortic aneurysm of the abdomen.

We have no Thanksgiving Dinner or Christmas to look forward too. I can't afford t.v., cable or Internet or anything... Nothing! I don't have makeup or clothes, muchless a good meal. The only way I have Internet access to do this is because I tethered service from my little, free government phone onto my notebook. What I do have is a 3-Day-Pay or Quit Notice and a letter to evict. Next on the agenda is a court date and I don't even have a vehicle to sleep in with my disabled son. And please, don't misunderstand. I have no material things, but that is not what this is about! It's about honesty and good people helping people in need. There are so many homeless people living on the streets and I am about to join them and it is not by choice! I believe so much suffering is preventable and I want to help!

Everyone I talk to tells me to find a domestic violence agency, because we all believe the same thing. You and I are lead to believe that those glorified organizations use the millions of donated money to help women get out of abuse, stay safe from abuse, and move forward with their lives. So I go and e-mail, call, and walk to all of these places that advertise how they take donations to help people in our situation start their lives over and they lie! There is NO HELP for Domestic Violence Victims! They all say the same exact thing and I wrote this article in hopes of finding out WHERE DOES ALL THE MONEY GO??? Where is it? The list is long and it has been a horrific, huge waste of time trying to get any help. I do not ever want someone else to have to go through all of the crap that I endure every single day, all day long. So, I wrote what I have so far and it is a work in progress. I've made a partial list of the many, many groups and I want to add on what they advertise as far as the assistance they supply victims with and what their reply was when I inquired with them about my getting any help. If you and I donated $1.00 to Avon to help victims make it in their new life, where is it? Because Avon said they only fund to non-profit groups, not individuals, and when I ask the names of these specific non-profit groups so I could ask them for assistance, I get ignored, blown off, however you want to phrase it, shut down, no reply at all, cast aside! That is why I created my own link I need people to help me through this, I can't stand up alone. When I do get a grip on life, I am going to do something about this and I am going to be a person women can turn to for support. I am a strong woman, who has been through much and won't stop until I know it's okay! This Hub Pages Article is my start. I want people to be alerted to the fact that when they give to help it does not make it to the needy!

Below I added some pictures. The first on is of me one month after the worst beating in my life. It took 3-4 months for me to even be able to go to the store covered in make-up and wearing sunglasses holding my head down so nobody could see. I'm not kidding living in a violent home makes a person so extremely shameful! I lost my family to deaths, and he kept me so isolated I had no friends to help. I felt so ashamed all of the time, like I did something wrong because that's what he said. After he'd bust my ribs, he'd say, "It's your own fault, you and your mouth." My mouth got me choked out and the house destroyed on a Sunday because I asked him to please take out the trash!!! That's how horrible my mouth was!

There are so very many victims of domestic violence in our country, but little or no help from all of the advertisements we see daily. The entire month of October is dedicated to HUGE amounts of advertising in order to collect money so there is funding available, yet every resource out there says on a regular basis there are no funds available, or the give you another number who says the same exact thing. It is a huge game where they pawn a victim over and over again until you've called every phone number you get and it full circles to the initial person you called for help! All resources say they donated to non-profit organizations and those groups say they have no funding. Real my "Lists" and see what they all say. What I want is to find out WHERE all the millions of dollars go! I can't even buy Top Ramen for supper tonight and they are buying Christmas gifts for their friends or new furniture with the money donated to help victims such as myself!

Also, there are groups that I cannot even ask for help! Because they discriminate! Some will only help Indian women, Asian women, or another thing is they will only help during certain times of the year! Domestic Violence doesn't discriminate!!! It happens to every color person, every aged person, in every religion, and it happens every day throughout the entire year! So how can organizations pick and choose who and when they will help!?

Did YOU donate to help domestic violence victims???

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