Online Dating: The Pigs, The Serious, The Charmers, and The Mysterious
What Were You Thinking? That's Dangerous!
What was I thinking? Well, I had already been married, divorced, and had been in some bad or wrong relationships. I was thinking maybe technology could match me with the right person who I would share interests with, and maybe I would find love. I also thought dating online would be better than going from bar to bar, or from drunk to drunk to find love. I thought online dating would force me to take a relationship slower than I did before. The relationships I had been in always seemed rushed. In the past I would move too fast and the relationship ended within 6 months.
In 2010, about six months after my divorce, I wanted to try online dating. This was a hot topic then, and I wanted friend and maybe to date, so what the heck? I tried a couple well-known sites for free, then after thirty days, I think the price was $30 (something) per month. One site was a Christian site, and I thought I would meet someone there who would be a prince charming, but I was wrong. I ended up meeting an ex-Amish man who could not fully detach from some Amish beliefs. Oh, of course sex before marriage was not one of the beliefs he could not detach from. He kept putting the moves on me and I not wanting to have sex with him turned him down every time.
I have heard of all the scary stories of how everyone probably gets killed (ESPECIALLY WOMEN!) and so forth. I took a lot of time thinking this online dating thing through and decided that most everyone who is on a site is could be just like me, just would like someone to spend time with and possibly a relationship. I'm not saying to not be cautious. Of course DO, especially if you are a woman!
I went on a lot of dates; but only dated. I didn't go past kissing or hugging. I know a lot of online dating sites are for hook ups and just to have sex with the other people. I made it known that if they were looking for "hook ups" to look the other way. I was not into that. I had fun with online dating and I met a lot of people. I am a people person anyway, so this was exciting for me. I made some friends, and had some really different experiences, and with some of the guys, I prefer not to speak to them any longer. Everything worked out though and the experiences made me want to write about online dating.
Pigs Are Cute! Men Pigs? Not So Much
Pervy, Piggie, Or Maybe Normal For Him?
I became pretty good at reading guys just by emails they sent on the dating site. In the beginning, I wouldn't give my number out. I would just talk to the men through emails. Eventually I became more comfortable and wanted to talk to some of them, so I started exchanging numbers. When I began number exchanging, I was appalled to find out there were some perverts who would send me pictures of their private areas. I texted the guys back and said, "do not ever contact me again". Then I easily blocked the guys' numbers. After having a couple of private part senders, I started telling the guy in the email if he just wanted to send me dirty pictures, then forget it. Also, if the man wanted to take me out on a date, I made sure beforehand he understood I was not having sex with him.
Fetish Guy: I remember one person I gave my number to was a very nice looking man and he was a male nurse. The only thing was, he started asking me to send pictures of my "piggies". Now I understand This fetish and accept the fetishes people have, but then I did not understand any kind of fetish and was not really into "piggies"
This did make me laugh a little. I had never been asked to do this before. No offense to anyone who loves feet. I did end up sending him a picture of my foot, but I eventually stopped talking to him. To each his own, but feet do not turn me on.
You're Not How Your Profile Says!!!!
Liar Liar Pants On Fire
I have found many online daters lie about what he or she wants or even how they are as a person. In my experiences, men were mainly lying about what kind of relationship they wanted. Usually, the guy would state on his profile he wanted to have a serious relationship, long term relationship, and even marriage. After speaking or going on dates with these men, my belief was all they were wanting was to get inside my pants. After most dates I went on, the guy would take me out for drinks and dinner then I was surprised to never hear from him again. I believe I figured out why: I NEVER GAVE "IT" UP. I would sit for a while and wonder why the guy didn't call me back, then it hit me....... he would spend money on me, like drinks and dinner, then I didn't give them what they wanted at the end of the night. Ding, Ding Ding! I had to put myself in a guy's shoes for a while to figure this out. One of my best friends (a guy I met on one of these dating sites) helps me understand men more and what they really are wanting.
Be Truthful In What You're Looking For!
My Definitions Of Some Men I Dated:
I hate to be labeled, but I know I probably fall under a category of my own. Just for fun, here are some of the personality traits I came up with for some men I dated.. Of course, there are no names involved:
- Pigs: The ones who try to trick a woman and their profile says they want a relationship, but really just want SEX. Sometimes these people can be tricky or just straight up tell the other they want laid. Then if the guy reads a woman's profile, and hers says she wants a relationship but he does not care. He tries to make the woman believe he too wants a relationship so that she will have sex with him. This is flat out MEAN.
- Serious: (Or the prince). Every woman wants this. We are emotional and even if you are a strong, independent woman, you still want someone to care for you. A woman may need just a text, call, or be told she's cared about once in a while. These men will be the ones.
- Charmers: men who just wanted to be told they were wonderful or good looking etc& these men never really cared if we were in a relationship, friends, hooked up, or anything. These men are entertaining and can be good friends to a woman. These men can be also classified as Metro-sexual. This is a hetero sexual man who gets beauty treatments, tanning etc.
- The Mysterious: Who knows what they want! These men are so hard to read, if a woman tries to get a sense for his feelings, she will turn out exhausted. These guys can also be called pigs if a woman tends to chase them or act as if she needs him.
Don't Be Shy, Ask Away!!
Being Safe As An Online Dater:
These are just my thoughts and no one has to follow these steps, but I thought up some ideas to keep a woman or man safe when online dating:
- Don't give your number out unless you have a good feeling about the man/woman, and if you can easily block a phone number. Blocking is great when he or she starts sending dirty pics.
- When going on the first few dates, let a friend or relative know where you'll be going. Also, give your date's phone number and description of him or her to your friend/relative.
- Of course meet in a place where there are a lot of people around. Try meeting somewhere you know well also so if you have to leave fast, you won't get lost.
- Take a picture with your phone of the date's license plate. Send the pic to your friend or relative. If you can't take a picture, text the license plate number to them instead. (My good friend told me about this one and I thought this was a great idea!)
If you choose online dating to meet that special someone, I hope you have a great time doing it. Who knows, maybe you will meet the man or woman of your dreams. You can search the Internet for more research more helpful tips about dating if you are apprehensive. Be safe, have fun, and hope you meet the one for you!