- Gender and Relationships
Single Ladies Finding Love on Valentine’s Day
Single Ladies Finding Love on Valentine’s Day will provide some good info to those who fear that they will find themselves single and without a date or a mate on this day set aside for lovers. Some of the tips will be from lessons I’ve personally learned other info will be from my research of what has worked for others during this sensitive time. Everyone wants to feel as though they have a sense of belonging and are participating in what millions of others are doing. It’s kind of like watching the playoffs of pro games just to be able to communicate and talk with family, co-workers and others the following day even when you do not like the teams.
After divorcing in my early twenties I probably spent the next decade feeling sad because my brave knight in shining armor never seemed to find me in time for Valentine’s Day. I recall spending a two years alone on V-day simply because the man that I loved was non-committal. One year I met a dud the day before the big day and knew right off that relationship was not going to work because we really didn’t have anything in common other than not wanting to be alone on Valentine’s. Now looking back at that mistake, I laugh at how awkward it was to pretend to even “like”someone when your first date is on V-day.
For the rest of the decade there were years that guys were just not serious enough to give me the type of love that I was seeking or unhappy evenings alone. Needless to say,it was not until I start reading self-help books about the importance of loving one’s self that I realized why I had been kissing so many frogs in my life. Reading self-help books taught me to learn how to love myself while being single, rather than looking for someone else to fulfill that love or comparing myself to other couples. But, ladies let's face it there is a part of each of us that desires a Taylor Swift's Love Story...
Aaah yes, for the most part every little girl grows up dreaming and fantasizing about how grand it will be when a prince or Romeo, a knight in shining armor, or some other man of valor will come and mesmerize us by rescuing us from our dull lives. It’s all part of the growing up process, I believe. A few girls are fortunate never to have to wake up from that dream and never have to discover that it is only a fantasy.
However, many of us become aware of reality after we first realize that we’ve kissed a frog instead of a prince. Regardless of the reason that you find yourself single on Lover’s Day; you can be happy in other relationships during this occasion. So again if you are, one of the single ladies finding love on Valentine’s Day here are a few suggestions that you might find helpful.
Some great things about being single
Once you start liking you in your single state; you will be able to find some great things about being single on Valentine’s Day. Some of the things that can go on your list are:
- You don’t have to smile and gritted your teeth to make it through a dinner with an idiot you plan to dump the next day.
- You have a better chance to pick up “the real single men” at the bars because those in real relationships should be with their loved ones.
- You don’t have to listen to excuses about why they didn’t purchase you a gift because V-day is just too commercialized.
- This is a good time to practice some self-love and enjoy splurging on you.
- You get to choose how you want to spend this time; with girlfriends, working late, eating take-out, or spending time alone doing your favorite things.
I know that some of you are afraid to spend time alone, but please trust me it is not until you embrace this time of being alone and finding yourself that you will truly be able to embrace the true love that the universe has intended for you. Many of my friends are still afraid of spending time alone, but again until you take this time to find out who you are and what you really want from life, you will continue to kiss frogs time and time again.
Ways to Embrace this Lover’s Holiday when Single
- Acknowledge your feelings – If you become depressed on V-day or weeks before start by accepting your feelings, but don’t let them overwhelm you!
- Learn about Valentine’s Day - Contrary to everyone believes V-day is not just for lovers or married couples in love. It’s a holiday to celebrate love for people that you’re close to: family, friends, colleagues and neighbors. Show your love for others and don’t let this be just about romance.
- Become adventurous – Plan an escapade to an exotic island like Belize, or Jamaica; go on a singles cruise, go hiking in the mountains, or plan a girlfriend’s retreat to a spa for the weekend.
- Look beyond the hype – Appearances can be deceiving there will be many couples pretending to be happy by spending Valentine’s Day together. Some husbands are stressed by having to buy a romantic gift while wives are feeling unloved by their spouses. Some couples are worried about feeling obligated to have sex and pretending to be romantic on this day. Needless to say, it’s better to be single than unhappily attached and having to pretend.
- Dare to do something different - Challenge yourself to try new things, rather than resolving to be sad on V-Day. Join an active singles club that travels, goes on Meet Mark Adventures, and offers lessons in scuba diving or other sports activities. You do not have to be at home alone if you choose not to be.
- Do a little soul searching – Take time to discover you. Ask yourself those difficult questions and clarify your relationships goals. Start by asking, “Do you want to be in a relationship?” If so, then make it a priority to meet someone this year. Begin by accepting invitations, going on blind dates, taking classes, and telling you family and friends to be on the lookout for you. There is something both powerful as well as enlightening about writing down your hopes and dreams. Start a journal about your new adventures and thoughts over the next year.
- Have a Movie Night Party - Have a friends over to watch DVDs like Valentine's Day and have a couple of laughs...
Be Kind to Yourself
So in summary be kind to yourself this Valentine’s Day. Make a decision now that you will not be one of the unhappy people on this year’s day of love. Pamper yourself because as you can see being single on Valentine’s Day gives you the opportunity to show love and kindness to someone you love and appreciate: yourself. Treat yourself to flowers, chocolates and a nice bottle of wine, a gourmet meal then go have a spa day or turn on your favorite music and have a nice long bubble bath at home.
Regardless of what you decide to do with this day of love the most important thing is to love oneself and enjoy the time that you are single. I believe that the joy and happiness that you give to yourself while you are single will be a direct reflection of the bliss and delight that you will experience with the bright shining knight that eventually finds you.
Ending note: While doing this hub Beyonce' song just kept playing in my mind. So I decided to include it for a little more inspiration...Again, enjoy being you and single for now...
Splurge You are Single...
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