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I'm Talking About Wives

Updated on August 11, 2015

They Don't Make Sense

I may be taken for a male chauvinist for writing this. I’m talking about wives. Sometimes they don't make sense. They say one thing but mean something else.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. When you take your wife shopping… and don’t lie, they make you go, don’t you ask how long it will take? They all have the same stock response. “Just a few minutes dear. All I need is…”, and name a few miscellaneous items.

Three hours and three shopping carts full, they return all smiles and no money to the car where you’ve been patiently twiddling your thumbs down to nubs. They bankrupted the family budget trying to save money on all the sales. “On Sale” seems to translate into “Carte Blanche”. For example, my wife once bought 20 boxes of salt because it was on sale. I rest my case.

Picking up Groceries

Anyway, the announcement is made they need to pick up a few groceries. So it’s off to the super market. This usually brings a smile to the restless husband since he’s starving and can’t remember his last meal.

Inside, the inquisition begins with wifey getting your opinion of which tomatoes are the firmest and what meat is the freshest. Hubby doesn’t care at this point since he’s ready to eat it right then and there. She then proceeds to buy New York steaks and other fine gourmet delicacies

By this time the day is shot along with hubby’s nerves. However he perks right up when she asks the magical question, “What would you like for supper dear?” He naively answers, “How about some of that New York steak?”

Do you see where this is going? Of course you do. The answer invariably goes something like this. “Oh no dear! That’s for my bridge club meeting tomorrow. How about some of these tasty hot dogs? Anyway you need to go on a diet.”


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    • profile image

      SuperDave 7 years ago

      Bravo! Women love to shop, but hate to work. Doesn't work out so good for the men, does it?

    • Right Black profile image

      Right Black 7 years ago from Huntington Beach, California

      I had my hand up in the beginning when you asked about being married but seems I must be married to the most wonderful woman ever. No shopping for me unless I want to. Groceries? She shops at three of four stores just to find the best deals and then she makes sure I get the biggest steak. Sorry guys, but her sister is gay.

    • thevoice profile image

      thevoice 7 years ago from carthage ill

      funny hub thanks