- Gender and Relationships»
Honesty- keep Romance in your relationship
Keeping quiet is the same as lying??
I thought our relationship was made in Heaven. He thought so too. He courted me with flowers, opening my car door, lots of affection, The whole shabang. Then things began to change a little.
Time past, he still brought flowers, didn't open my car door as often, affection--what is that?
But I kept quiet, didn't want to cause trouble, didn't want to nag.
Then the day came when I couldn't handle the unhappiness any longer and I blew up and said: "Get the ____ out of here, this is not working".
Mistake, mistake, mistake. In a relationship you must be able to communicate your heartaches, fears, doubts. If you just keep quiet when you are unhappy, it is the same as saying aloud, "Honey, every thing is just peachy kean".
It is called a relationship because you have a relating-with-each-other friendship or love for each other. So RELATE!
What are the most irritating things about your situation?
Make a list, mentally or in reality.
- He/she keeps his/her head in the computer, telephone, iPad all the time.
- Never complements me on anything.
- Too little or too much sex.
- Never wants to go on a date, just stays home all the time.
- Doesn't share my Christian walk. (This should really be #1 - its a deal breaker)
Now, be fair! Make a list of everything you enjoy about the other person.
- He/she brings me a cup of coffee in bed every morning.
- Plans a special date for my birthday, Valentines day, etc.
- Shares all or most household chores with me.
- Shares my love for Christ.
Now, this is just a sample of things you might enclude on your list. Make both lists and consider whether there are more items in the Good list than on the Bad list. If this is the case, just say, "Thank you God for bringing this person into my life", and skip farther down the page to: HOW TO MAKE OUR LIFE BETTER.
Are there some items that you absolutely can not live with another day? If this is the case, I pray that you have not already taken the step of walking up the isle to the tune of "Here comes the Bride". That makes it a little harder to just walk away from the relationship. If you have not walked the plank--I mean isle, then it is time to just say Goodbye, its been fun but gotta go on down the looking path.
Now, all that said, lets skip on the the next phase: HOW TO MAKE OUR LIFE BETTER
- Realize that you are not perfect and you may be making your partner as crazy as you feel he/she is making you.
- Make a date to go someplace out in public but somewhat private (this is so you can't kill each other if you get too angry) to talk about what is bothering you.
- Very calmly explain that you feel you have a very special relationship, however, you need to talk about some things that have been really bothering you.
- Take time, first, to comment on some of the things you really love and appreciate about him/her. It is very important to begin on a positive note.
- Next, explain that you really miss the little things that you may have taken for granted before but would really love to have back in your life again: that cup of morning coffee, the long, exciting kiss that lets you know you are really loved, not just a peck on the way out the door, the call in the afternoon inviting you on a date that night. Mention what ever was on your list. Don't make it a long list or your partner will just walk out and leave you with the check for dinner. It would probably be best to bring up just one of the items on your list--don't let your list become more than one problem before you talk about it!
Now, if you don't have the nerve to confront and discuss, perhaps you could first try the " Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". I belive that is called " The Golden Rule", remember your mom trying to teach you that rule to live by.
So let's see, you could start out by bringing him a cup of coffee and saying, " You know, I enjoy this so much when you do it for me, I thought you might like a cup before you get up too.
And when you walk out into the yard and see a Rose blooming take the time to pick it and put it into a vase to set in plain view of your sweetheart-wherever that may be. Men enjoy flowers as much as women, though they may hesitate to tell their woman!
If you are the wife, or girlfriend, surprise your man but washing his vehicle sometime. You love it when he does it for you, right?
Call up your sweetheart and make a date to take her/him so an especially nice restaurnant for dinner for no special reason. Just because you think your honey is special and deserves a night out.
Now if you will excuse me, my man just came through the door and I need to talk to him about something that has been bothering me. Just kidding! I already had that talk and everything is Peachy Kean!
Coffee in bed!
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