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The Road to Recovery through Living Creatively

Updated on March 20, 2012

The Road to Recovery through Creative Living

Living in dysfunctional family lets you play in a rigid and controlling system. Rigid and patterned responses are necessary so as to ensure survival. Role playing is an adaptive role that a child learns as a result of constant challenge to adjust conflicting parental messages. Let’s see if these family roles are familiar:

a. Hero or Responsible Child – this child exhibits a high level of responsibility, leadership, and maturity. But this role robs children of the ability to experience childhood.

b. Scapegoat – this child will get in trouble with drugs and/or alcohol themselves early pregnancy and other misbehaving attitudes. They are filled with feelings of rage and low self – esteem.

c. Lost Child or Adjuster – the passive, flexible child who avoids responsibilities. This child causes no problems and he or she is loved for that. This child grows into adulthood without a sense of direction, and no sense of personal power or choice.

d. Mascot or Clown – this child draws away the imperfections of the family by keeping the family entertained.

e. Social Worker and Placater – this child tries to rescue everyone while ignoring their own needs.

What is the impact of this to a Person?

All these roles require children to curb their feelings and physical behavior. These children learn to anticipate adult reactions which in turn limit their childishness. Society only sees competent and capable child adults and ignores the costs being paid for this maturity. One of the most damaging impact on this to a person is the struggle to hide and deny their own feelings of vulnerability and to doubt their own true selves. Thus, shedding this is not an easy task.

What then is the Role of Creativity?

Childhood is an essential part to which everyone is entitled. Maria Montessori believed that play is work for the children. And creativity is an adult play. This provides enjoyment while reducing internal stress. In this way one can recreate reality. Learning to be playful again requires reacquainting ourselves with our Natural Child.

Can you find any of them to yourself?

1. Likes to experiment

2. Is fascinated by the environment

3. Has free use of his or her imagination

4. Imitates others, is not afraid to try new behaviors

5. Is free to be silly or wrong

What is the first thing to do?

Self – Examination, acknowledgement of feelings, and voluntary suffering. In doing this, you need to accept responsibility for yourself and your own feelings. Acknowledge that any misbehavior beyond yourself is not your fault. Confronting reality means confronting your defense mechanisms. Finally, strive for flexibility. Buried emotions well apparently come to the surface. Be ready for it. Awareness of your own needs and desires becomes clear after years of suppression.

Rebuilding Intimacy

The first thing that’s been damaged in role playing is intimacy. Thus it is very important to rebuild it in order to have a healthy relationship with others.

1. Unquestioned trust

2. Open, direct, and honest communication

3. Belongingness

4. Warmth

5. Gentleness

6. Love

7. Listening

8. Allowing nurture

9. No obligation

10. No guilt

11. Healthy, mutual conflict resolution

12. Emotional expression is encouraged

13. Self – acceptance and acceptance to others

14. Privacy

15. Respect for Independence

16. Safety

17. Honesty

What are the Roadblocks to Recovery?

a. Intellectual Understanding

b. Anger

c. Denial/ Body Awareness

d. Breathing

Learning from the patterns of our lives is movement in the direction of a life with increased potential. Please bear in mind the following:

1. Recovery is a choice.

2. Recovery is the movement toward the optimum.

3. Recovery is a lifestyle you design to reach your highest potential.

4. Recovery is a process – there is no end point.

5. Recovery requires discipline.

6. Recovery brings an integration of the mind, body, and spirit.

7. Recovery is a loving acceptance of yourself.

8. Recovery is freedom.

These are the steps for recovery:

A. Self – Responsibility – listen to your body, discover and honor your needs, make choices without feeling guilty, create the life you want, be assertive, take care of your health, express emotions clearly and honestly and do work that’s meaningful to you.

B. Love – trust yourself, learn from dis – ease, respond to problems, affirm yourself, love your good and bad side and realize your connection to things.

C. Manage your stress – relax, look for areas in your body that has tension, let go of “what ifs…”

The following exercises are examples of stress management:

a. Yoga – this concept enables the mind and body belong together.

b. Meditation – this method is best for quieting the mind.

c. Helping a robot to play – enjoy the exercise rather than be burned out by it.

D. Journal Keeping – writing your feeling in your journal let those pent up emotions out.

E. Maintaining a Dream Journal – dreams are sleep patterns on our inner world. It also gives us clues on how we interact with the outside world. Having a clear understanding of dreams can enrich our lives.


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    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      Hello Vinaya! it's great to see your comment here and of leaving an insightful comment as well...have a great time my friend...

      Hello Mike!great to read your comment today...i've done a lot of soul searching and i want to share it to everyone...have a great day! bless you!

    • Mike Robbers profile image

      Mike Robbers 5 years ago from London

      Your "Self – Examination" analysis & advices are very informative and helpful, well done! I really felt like reading a scientifically grounded psychology article ..

      thanks for sharing

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

      Childhood covers a short period of our life but has immense impact on rest of our life. You analysis of human behavior is very interesting. Thanks for sharing this useful and informative post.

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      hello Susan...yes you may, but to understand it better please do read personality development books, by John Bradshaw and other authors who focus on is more comprehensive...these are all summaries...

      you can start by reading the article Parenting the Inner Child...

    • Storytellersrus profile image

      Barbara 5 years ago from Stepping past clutter

      racinwa, I found all these categories fascinating. Is it possible to fit into more than one, lol? I could certainly relate and would like to learn more about all of this. Thanks. I need to read it again to understand all you are saying.

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      Hello Denise! it's so nice to see you...yes, coming from one makes me realize how influential the family is into the shaping of the life of a person, learned helplessness is my way of realizing its damaging impact is by studying about, and through that i learn the reasons for my depression...

      thank you for sharing your time...have a wonderful day!!! God bless!!!

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

      What a marvelous hub, Raciniwa. It is well written, useful, informative and right on the money with its points.

      Dysfunctional family of origin is so damaging and you have explained that thoroughly here. I followed Maria Montessori's work for several years and had intended to become a Montessori teacher, but did not. However, I used her methods as part of my parenting. I have great respect for her work.

      I rated this wonderful hub up, useful, intersting and beautiful. Thanks for this great piece. I'm sure many people reading it were touched by its message-I know I was.

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      Hello Eddy!!!thank you for visiting...have a great day!!!

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

      This is truly brilliant raciniwa;you really are inspiring so many with you words and talent.

      Take care


    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      Hello Rosemay...thank you for visiting and leaving an inspiring comment...and yes, tuning into it requires focus and desire to create change to ones life...

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      What a wonderful hub Raci. Many would benefit from reading ths I am sure. It is so hard sometimes to get just the right balance.

      The video is so appropriate, love this song

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      Thank you Audrey, be a light to others is part of our humanity...

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      Hello Caroline...thank you for stopping by...yes, i want to share this to others in order for them to be guided too...have a great day!!!

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      Yes Ruby, this is very beneficial to me too...thank you as always for the support...have a great day!!!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 5 years ago from California

      This is just a wonderful hub!! Sharing because everyone should read this!

    • carolinemd21 profile image

      Caroline Marie 5 years ago

      Great hub Raciniwa. Very informative and helpful. I am sure a lot of people can benefit from it. Thank you for sharing.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      This is great Raciniwa, well researched. Thank you. I am sure this will benefit those in need. Cheers..

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      thank you Billy...yes, because parenting is the hardest profession...if a person has not received the proper guidance he needs then it's time for the person to start doing that to himself...have a blessed day!!!

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      Hello Michael!!!that's good news that this hub lets you go back to yourself for retrospection...have a pleasant day!!!

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      thank you Frank...but i don't want to see you wearing crutches...bless you too!!!Namaste...

    • raciniwa profile image

      raciniwa 5 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

      Hello Sunshine!!! thank you for the wonderful comments...being a light to others is our passage towards serving our greater purpose...have a great day!!!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      What a marvelous hub! Anyone who has ever lived in a dysfunctional family can benefit from this hub! Great job!

    • cleaner3 profile image

      cleaner3 5 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

      raciniwa, very nice hub. i found myself in your interesting hub. good self examination and retrospect of personality. good work

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton

      You know Raci.. your hubs are like crutches.. they balance everything out.. just wanna say bless you for that.. stay on top of your game.. so far I look up when I read you..:) Frank

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Hi Raciniwa, Your hubs always have a lesson to learn. You inspire others to be the best they can be. You are admired and awesome! Excellent tips to recovery. I applaud you.