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What Not to Say or Do When Meeting Her (Girlfriend's) Parents For The First Time |Over 20 Practical Tips |

Updated on May 22, 2013

Also, some slides on what not to wear.

Meeting your girlfriend’s parents is a big deal and can be very stressful. It usually means that the relationship is starting to get serious, so you want to leave a good impression with them. To do so, one might find it helpful to review the following list before you meet them.

1. If her parents have loud plumbing, do not mention it to them. I was so nervous when I met my wife’s parents that I said the first thing that entered my head when I heard the toilet, which was located upstairs, flush.

2. Do not ask her mom if she is double jointed like her daughter.

3. Do not ask if they have life insurance on their daughter and if you can be named the benificary.

4. Do not mention the fact that you could be related to them soon, and that you would like to look over their will.

5. Do not talk about your large porno collection.

6. Do not mention your interest in snuff films.

7. Do not explain how you met her at the STD clinic.

8. Do not say, “That you are between places right now.” Or, ask the follow up question, “How many spare bedrooms do you have?”

9. Do not ask the parents if they have a “problem” with polygamy.

10. Do not explain to them how you want an "open" relationship.

11. Do not ask the parents if they would like to compare prison tattoos.

12. Do not ask the mom how she feels about ménage à trois .

13. Do not ask the dad how he feels about ménage à trois .

14. Do not ask if they are pro or con on human sacrifice.

15. Do not ask if you would have to register as a sex offender in their neighborhood.

16. Do not mention that porn pays $1,000 a scene.

17. Do not mention how their daughter bruises easily and is a bleeder.

18. Do not tell her parents that you are a progressive thinker, and that do not believe that the man of the house has to support the family.

19. Do not call her by another woman's name.

20. Do not call her by her nickname fat a**.

21. Do not talk about your pro stance on the legalization of marijuana debate or mention that the dispensary close to their house, " Has a great selection of herbs."

22. Do not show them pictures of when you used to be woman.

23. If her parents are watching TV and the news talks about another meth lab blowing up, do not say, “I hate when that happens.”

24. Do not ask them what form of birth control they preferred at your age.

25. Do not asker her parents the following question, “If I marry your daughter, will you be able to support me at the standard of living I am accustomed too?”

26. Do not tell them the tale about how she got so sick after taking the day after pill.

27. Make sure you have turned your ring tone Ain’t No Fun (If the Homies Can’t Have None) before entering the parent's home. Okay, if you have that song on your phone, you might want to apologize to your mother.

28. Do not tell her, “To get you a beer or she will see the back of your hand.”

29. Do not bring up the fact that insanity runs in your family and never, ever skips a generation.

30. Do not ask the mom if she has ever been into younger men.

31. Do not ask the father if he has ever been into younger men.

32. Do not mention that you are thinking about making their daughter your fifth wife.

In closing, this article was intended to be funny, and physically or mentally abusing anyone is unacceptable. Furthermore, if you liked this article, one might enjoy the Hub What Not to Say to His Parents When Meeting Them for The First Time


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      youssef 4 years ago

      thanks for all ur information

    • pmorries profile image

      pmorries 5 years ago from Golden, CO

      pamela-anne, thank you for your kind words, and I wish you well also.

    • Pamela-anne profile image

      Pamela-anne 5 years ago from Miller Lake

      This was an article that made me smile you have a great sense of humor thanks for giving me a laugh. Keep us laughing! take care pam.