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When A Relationship Turns Dangerous
It's very sweet when we fall in love. Never passes through our mind that we can be a victim of any type of abuse. But sometimes the fairytale end like a terrible nightmare. In
some way the love blinds us and when we wake up to reality, we realize
that we are immersed in a very complicated situation unable to end it. The relationship that began with so much emotion turns into a time bomb ready to explode at any time. The person we chose to share everything has become our greatest fear. It happened to me and this may be happening to you. Thankfully
I came out of a volatile relationship and I want to tell my story to
help those girls who are living the same situation.
How Everything Starts
Everything starts so subtly you do not even realize when everything changed. Maybe you have not identified yet the first signs that something is wrong. Or just don't want to belive that the person you love could hurt you.
When I met this guy everything seemed perfect, we were right for each other. He only was my boyfriend. I never marry him, not even lived with him. Everything was changing gradually. Usually people who abuse in a relationship use different ways to do it. They combine verbal abuse, psychological, and physical for assaulting his victim. They try to have absolute control over the relationship and your own person. This person slowly steal all your life. That was my case.
Below are a list of signals that make a relationship at high risk to be abusive. These are listed in the order that usually happen. Pay attention and see if you identify with any of them.
Verbal and Psychological
- Start a fight for no reason.
- Call you by disrespectful nicknames.
- He yells and use bad words when speaking with you.
- Use an authoritative tone when speaking.
- Critique your family in a disrespectful manner.
- He question every minute of your time.
- Requires that you ask him permission each time you go out.
- He often call asking where you are, who is with you, and what are you doing.
- Not letting you interact with any man. And I mean not even talk.
- Completely takes you away from your friends.
- He blames you for all the problems in the relationship.
- He lies constantly to you.
- Often he invents know that you're cheating.
- If you try to end the relationship, he cries, says that everything will change, that he will not do it again, that he loves you. And this becomes a routine in the relationship.
- He is extremely jealous.
- He can start by squeezing your hand tightly.
- He pushes you.
- He pulls you by the arm.
- He pulled your hair.
- He Bites you.
- He kicks you.
- He Slap your face.
- He punches you.
- Any other type of physical aggression. Not necessarily need to leave marks to be abuse.
Cause And Effect
As everyone says, everything in life is cause and effect.The violence leaves permanent marks on any person life. I was not the exception. Your self esteem goes way down and feel a deep sadness. Nothing interests you and do not trust anyone anymore. You turn away from your family to avoid having to answer questions, they all have noticed the change in you. Most of those people around you want to advise you, they do not think you see what is happening. They want to open your eyes. But you know what happens, you're living it. Your romantic relationship has reached a point where your life could be at risk. I knew that if didn't put an end to that relationship soon I could die at any time. I needed to do it for me, for my life, but how? It was like a circle that was repeated over and over again.
What To Do?
It took me a lot time and effort to make the decision to terminate that relationship that was consuming my life. Stand firm on the decision was even harder. I had to hold a lot of pressure because he used to come crying and begging forgiveness. He also started to follow me everywhere. I had to fight with my own feelings, I realized that I gave him too many chances to change and that was never going to happen. My family and friends were my support. I began to interact with new people and met new friends. I would say the best years of my life came after that stormy and terrible experience.
Everything that happened to me helped me to be more careful when getting involved with someone romantically. It made me stronger. A few years after, I knew the perfect person for me. Don't be afraid to start a new relationship. Now I have a beautiful family.
If you identify with some of what you just read please take action. You have the strength to stop any kind of abuse. Don't wait too late. Don't think that the situation will change, that's not true. Don't think nothing is going to happen to you, all victims who have died have thought the same. Brake the silent. Talk to someone you trust about it or seek professional help. If you need to talk to someone who has been through the same experience here I am, you can contact me. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I feel lucky to be alive. I've met other girls who unfortunately were not so lucky. I hope I have created awareness in the mind of any girl part of a dangerous relationship. I will be glad if this article serves to help save a life.