SPOUSAL MURDER - A Little Ditty...
Where Did The Love Go?
It seems like divorce is a thing of the past,
There are much better ways to get rid of her fast.
Like turn off her air while scuba diving,
Just an hour or two after arriving!
If you decide it's best to dismember,
keep a small piece of her - just to remember?
And please don't drown her in the pool,
Her very worst fear - that'd be too cruel!
She'll return as bacon for you to dine.
Even this shan't stop you though,
You're focused on that new blonde HO!
Why must you shoot her in my head,
While she lays peaceful in your bed?
Why toss her off that mountain cliff,
Just because you had a tiff?
Two go sailing on a choppy sea,
One comes back - and it's not SHE!
If she am sleeping with the fishies,
You get to wash your own damn dishies!
No need to toss her in that well,
In a day or two she'd smell like hell.
Creepy crawlies, dark and wet,
She's not prepared for that just yet!
Please don't feed her to the chipper,
Turn her into food for Flipper.
So many better ways to die,
At ninety-nine - She'll say good-bye!
Her lifeless body stuffed in the trunk,
Don't get stopped for driving drunk!
If hair and blood are to be found,
Lawyers denounce the forensics unsound!
Into the woods we take a nice ride,
Where to dump me, it's time to decide.
You get the best lawyers that money can buy,
They'll screw with the jury - you know you won't fry!
We could be speaking like this of YOUR spouse,
If he isn't willing to give up the house.
I've tried my best here to make it quite clear,
Insane is passing for sane around here!
The End?
