Why doesn't a man call when he KNOWS you're waiting to hear from him?
You know, why does the guy sometimes purposely not call when he knows the girl he's dating is just dying to hear from him?
There could be several answers to this question, I'll try to cover all the bases.
Is he young, under 25? Could be he's wrapped up in himself and doesn't even think about the fact that you are sitting by the phone waiting to hear from you.
How serious is the relationship? Just starting out, he doesn't think it's a big deal. He'll call when he get's around to it. Very serious relationship, he figures if you want to talk to him so bad, you'll call him.
Is he really "that into you"? Possibly you have more feelings for him than he does for you. It's not so important to talk all the time, in his mind.
Basically it all boils down to men and women are two completely different species. We just don't think and rationalize or even process things the same way. Some men don't like talking on the phone, they would rather see you face to face. Some men just don't see the need to "check in" on a regular basis. And Sadly enough, some men like the control they feel knowing that you are putting your life on hold waiting for them to call.
If you are in a relationship with the man, and want it to "go somewhere" be honest with him, tell him how you feel when he doesn't call. If you are just dating, let it be a red flag. Do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering where he is and why he is late and never calls to reassure you?
If it bothers you that bad, move on and find a man who better suits you.
Personally, As a friend to many guys and being one myself there are a few base reasons a guy does not call. I suppose it depends on his personallity, as to which he would choose to claim.
I might first state that most guys are conditioned to portray that he is cool and unattached or uncommitted to becoming attached. The best way to drive someone to you, is to make it appear that they can not have you. At least most guys think or believe this is a good ploy, to avoid getting thier hearts hurt and to act cool.
Secondly, in some instances, something happened or was said by him or you which made him feel uncomortable. He is embarrassed or scared that by putting himself in the situation again, he may come out looking like he is too soft, or too vunerable.
Personally, I feel that it is inconsiderate and a self indulgent, self serving game of "Cat and Mouse". In most cases, it may be in your best interest to just move past it and move on.
Here is the problem of pursuing him. Regardless of the reason he is playing this game, with you; He probably is deeply insecure and wants validation from someone, to make himself feel important. He really does not care how important you think he is. By pursuing him, you are validating him and are opening the door to either being compromised emotionally or physically (or maybe both).
You seem like an intellegent person, and you don't seem to have time to play these games. However the game is as old a "dirt". IF this guy is important to you, sit back and wait for a bit. Call him a couple of weeks later and go have coffee.
This neither validates him, nor causes him any discomfort if he is afraid he might have embarrassed himself, during the previous date. You dont appear too anxious nor like you are pursuing him, It is a neutral and safe situation for both of you.
Good luck and happy dating. Stay safe..
1. Playing hard to get.
2. He is not interested.
3. He might be gay.
4. He might be married.
5. He is scared of commitments.
6. Check the obituary section.
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