How do i forgive my husband after he has been mentaly and physically abusive?
Organize a course of supervised Anger Management for him and get yourself out of the relationship completely. Based on your need to post such a question here... it is not about forgiving at the moment.
Ask yourself two questions:
Are you a Doormat?
Do you deserve to live like one?
Clearly, you are not happy. No matter what happens in your life............ Always remember.....
YOU Have the RIGHT to be HAPPY.
Since abuse is normally used as a way to demonstrate power and control over another person, and thus deprive them of their self-esteem. While abusers can be forgiven if they truly repent, the road to forgiveness is “a very difficult, long, agonizing process and is usually embarrassing.” Few abusers complete the repentance process and therefore return to their abusive ways. Therefore, you should carefully consider your options but I beg of you not to put your life on the line to save your marriage. God Bless and take it to the Master in prayer.
You can start with process of forgiving:
. after you remove yourself from abusing relationship
. after you decide to never allow yourself to be victim in any other relationship again
If you do not save yourself, forgiving is the worst possible option: if you forgive him now, he will abuse you again.
If you are in danger get out of the situation , get help , and do not wait .
There are women' safe homes and programs to help you !!
Seek therapy . this is a very serious issue and subject .
You can live a normal happy life in peace and feeling safe .
Many people I have known have gone through it and moved on to live a better life by leaving , and seeking therapy .
Some church groups offer help , healing and a place to recover spiritually , as well as emotionally .
For some abusive partners this is also the answer . Many churches offer anger management groups , and celebrate recovery groups for anything from anger , abuse , and being abused , to addictions .
I wish you well, courage and strength to rise above this situation and take care of you , no matter how much you love them . You must love yourself more - and enough to put your wellbeing first
In my view forgiving your husband by you is possible only if he has done it inadvertantly and now repenting for the mistake he has done. If your husband has done it advertantly it means you need to review the relationship. If you want to survive and save your self respect, you have full right to seek justice from a court of law by way of divorcing him. But all aspects be taken into consideration before doing so like future of children, if any, and your post divorce 'would be' situation. Anyways, best wishes for a peaceful life.
you forgive because you love. there is no specific procedure that someone who is being abused has to follow. Sometimes even when you love it gets harder every time to forgive, especially when they continue to be abusive. Some times you have to either draw a line or continue to be their punching bag.
Vonda G. Nelson
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