Forgiving others is hard enough, what are some strategies or ways of looking at

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   Jaggedfrostposted 14 years ago

   Forgiving others is hard enough, what are some strategies or ways of looking at life that allow...
   
   one to forgive not only others but ones self?

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2. 60

   LIFE IS ABOUTposted 14 years ago

   The only one you hurt by holding on to grudges or bad feelings is your self. Don't let anyone have that much power over your life. Besides the best revenge if some one does you wrong is to be happy, Try it out being nice to someone you should be mad at, makes them wonder what you up to and makes them feel a little less important in the world.

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3. 66

   Dawn71posted 14 years ago

   I think it's harder to forgive yourself than others. There's a quote by an unknown that I think describes forgiving others well "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you"
   
   To forgive yourself we need to remind ourselves we are human, we are all fallible and that's what this thing we call life is all about. Learning. It's all too easy to be highly critical of ourselves, putting ourselves on a pedestal and when we fall off we chastise ourselves, carry guilt and self persecute. As long as we learn from our errors then we should try to let go and stop beating ourselves up over it. As long as we try our best then that is good enough.  If we never made errors then we wouldn't grow, it's all part of lifes rich tapestry of learning and growth.
   
   I deliberately don't use the word mistake as the 'mistakes' we make are beneficial for us in the long run so no mistake about that.

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   Gaylyposted 14 years ago

   It is. Think of the good things that had happened that has caused you. Always think positive and believe that everything happens for a reason and that's for the better..

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   cathylynn99posted 14 years ago

   years ago i did something i had a hard time forgiving myself for. then a friend pointed out that i didn't kill 6 million jews. another friend pointed out that if there's a name for it, you're not the first person to make that mistake. now i allow myself to be human (read: fallible, imperfect). if we were perfect, there would be no creativity. i have heard that if you're not making mistakes, you're not doing enough.
   humans are worthwhile just because they are human. you are worth the effort it takes to forgive yourself. making amends helps. if it's impossible to make direct amends to whoever you wronged, you can make amends to someone like them. for example, i didn't visit my aunt in the nursing home before she died, so now i make sure i don't neglect my other elderly relatives and neighbors. the purpose of true guilt is to get us to change our behavior. if we have done that or don't need to do that, we have false guilt and can challenge ourselves to let it go gradually.

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   michelegoldsteinposted 13 years ago

   Believe that everyone is doing the best they can at any given moment with the tools, knowledge and presence of mind they have at that moment.

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