why can't i stop hurting for my husbands love? I have been married @# years

  1. profile image53
    sweetone63628posted 13 years ago

    why can't i stop hurting for my husbands love? I have been married @# years

    him Sept. 1st. he came back for 2 days and left us, me and my 3 kids

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/3966031_f260.jpg

  2. IntelligentLight profile image61
    IntelligentLightposted 13 years ago

    Love is a very strong bond.  That is why it is hard to just turn those feelings off.  When a person comes back and then leaves again, it causes us to try to guess why.  This can prevent us from healing and moving forward.  That's where that word closure enters into the picture.

    My guess is that you have strong feelings coupled with a book that is still open.  Try to speak with your husband to find out what he is feeling and why he is feeling it.  He is the only one who can verify what's going on.

    If you speak with your husband and his mind is made up to leave, then try to say things to him that will allow you to close the book.  This will take you out of a state of limbo and give you real insight about if there is hope.

    If there is no hope for the marriage then, try to focus on your life and on your children. Speak to him only about the children.
    This will make you both feel better and often times a man will re-think his decision and come back.

    Best Regards,
    Lori

  3. Sabrinade profile image61
    Sabrinadeposted 13 years ago

    SO SORRY IT TOOK A WHILE TO GET BACK TO YOU. I PRAY THAT YOU'VE FOUND SOME SENSE OF RELIEF & CLOSURE IN YOUR LIFE. ASKING AN ABUSER WHY HE DID IT...OR WHAT HE'S FEELING SOMETIMES WILL CAUSE THEM TO DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO HAPPEN. THEY MAY TELL YOU IT'S YOUR FAULT, THEY DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE OR EVEN JUST SAY STUPID STUFF. THE MAIN THING TO REMEMBER IS IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, IT'S NOT EVEN YOU BEING THE PROBLEM, IT'S THEM. WHAT'S IN THEM IS WHAT'S COMING OUT.
    AS FOR HURTING FOR HIS LOVE, HIM LEAVING MIGHT BE BECAUSE OF HIS SHORT COMINGS. SOME MEN ARE NOT GREAT COMMUNICATORS, THEY WILL HOLD THINGS INSIDE OR TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT ON THEIR OWN. EITHER WAY THEY DON'T ALWAYS GET IT.
    REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE WHOLE WITH OR WITHOUT HIM. GOD IS OUR HEALER, HE WILL SEE YOU THROUGH ALL YOUR PAIN & LOVE YOU LIKE ON ONE ELSE CAN.
    REGARDLESS OF WHAT HAPPENS, IT'S IMPORTANT TO LOVE YOURSELF, TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS & MOVE ON.
    I PRAY THIS HELPED IN SOME WAY*

    BLESSINGS
    SABRINA*

 
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