Why Do Women Hurt The Person They Love??? (Reciprocate to 'Why Do Men Hurt The Person They Love?')
Just as men may seem to treat the one they love like a piece of 'Blank', the opposite also holds true. Well, we've gathered some interesting perspective from 'These Eyes' regarding this question as it pertains to women. I wonder how the opposite holds up!!!
every one has had a bad day and come home to unload it on the one person who hade NOTHING to do with your day being bad,... and they love you,.. so they roll with it,... in long term care i watched as people were increadibly hurtful and hateful to one particular family member that truly seemed to love them the most,... these folks have a lot of aches and pains, plenty to be angry about,... but when the son or daughter hit the room to visit its THEM that get the ugly, not the nurse who was impatient or the other resident who bothered them,... i talked to a lot of kids, cousins and grandkids who were treated this way,... "she treats you this way because shes angry and in pain, and she knows youll take it, it doesnt mean she doesnt love you, it means that she knows you'll love her inspite of it,... its safe to be hatefull to you,... its an ugly truth, but she doesnt want to be hateful to a nurse for fear they wont tend to her later, she knows she cant lash out at the crazy roomate,... but she can vent her anger on you because she knows you'll not only take it, but you'll still love her inspite of it"
Very interesting point of view. Really appreciate the insight here...thanks!!!
I don't think a best answer will matter here because everybody has a varied experience. They're all good answers so far.
Men and women hurt each equally and this happens when the individual is not happy with the relationship something definitely triggers the situation and the problem is when one of the partners fails to see what is going wrong. A woman expects man to see it but unfortunately it is often ignored. Sometimes the load gets to much to cope wit and one of the partners falls apart or thinks hurting the other is the way to offload their issues, and not every time is it intentionally.
Not intentional huh? Lol! Interesting theory here. "A women expecting a man to see it, but it's ignored" is understandable. Not agreeable, but understandable. So what about the man whom is ignored???
The man is ignore if he doesn't pay attention to his wife
Perhaps, they don't love the person after all or like they should. It doesn't make sense to hurt someone that you say you love. In fact, That is not love. The relationship is going to end sooner or later. A man has a role and so does a woman. If loyalty and respect are present then love should prevail and there should be no room for hurt at all. Differences should be worked out. There should be open communication so hurt can be avoided. In order for the two to get along, everything should be agreed on. A man should do all that he can to please his woman and vice versa, otherwise, what is the point to being together? In the case of using one another or one using the other, it is going to lead to hurt. Also in a serious relationship, cheating should not be apparent at all. How can you give your all to a person if you're giving some of it to someone else? Remember, if you're pleasing your mate then no one has any reason to go elsewhere for any degree of pleasure.
I disagree with the concept that if you hurt someone you must not love them. I think more often than not we usually are hurting the people we love not people we don't care about. When we love someone we don't suddenly lose all of our human traits. We don't lose ourselves. So there is bound to be some times when we are selfish, and the result of being selfish is often causing pain to someone close. There is this fairy tale belief that love equals happily ever after. That fairy tale is a giant load off crap! Love is happiness, hurt, work, and all other life traits combined. There is no relationship that can avoid the eventual pain that will come. Sometimes that pain is as small as saying your wife looks bad in an outfit and sometimes that pain is an affair. None of it usually has anything to do with a lack of love in my opinion. Just being human.
I have known of a woman that intentionally hurt her husbands. She has been married at least 4 times and has many children. From what I have observed about her, she uses a man until she no longer needs him. She lies, she deceives, she manipulates. In the end, there is no prize for this behavior. Her life is in shambles. While the exes are free from her, they go on to have better lives. She did them all a favor.
In the end, when all the damage is said and done, she will have no one left to hurt. She will be left alone.
People have always had shortcomings. We disappoint one another and oftentimes do not live up to our expectations as well as those of our mate. This by no means is not an excuse but rather a fact that no man or woman is perfect. Our goal however remains to strive for perfection if we are willing to commit to such a journey. With age comes wisdom and maturity. Much of what we do in our youth is done without giving any thought to consequences. Very often we hurt people because we are "self-centered."
If by "hurt" you mean (cheat or betray) those we love it is important to remember that cheaters don't want end relationships! The goal of any cheater is to (hold onto) all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side. These needs vary from cheater to cheater (physical/sexual, emotional/romance, excitement of something new, feeling special or desired) are common reasons why people look outside of their relationships to "complete" their ideal life.
It takes courage to walk away from a "known" relationship and start off with nobody as one begins to pursue a new relationship. Some people treat relationships like jobs, they will not leave one until they have another one lined up.
The real interesting question to me is; Why do we ask why?
The truth is we really don't care about why! It's rhetorical or reflex type of question. The majority of us are not seeking any "real understanding" of a cheater's motives. In fact we've made up our minds there is no justification for hurting us! For many of us cheating is a "deal breaker" therefore it is nothing our mate can say that would cause us to say; "I get that and understand why you did what you did." Some people claim they're looking for "closure" but the reality is closure just means it's over and my self-esteem remains in tact. The reality is self-esteem is a gift you give yourself! If we need someone to rub our head or pat us on the back as we walk out the door it means we're still relying on (someone else) to make us feel good about ourselves! Everyone gets "their turn" for heartache and misery in one form or another. All we can do is keep living knowing there will be a tomorrow.
Are you asking yourself why you keep hurting the people you love, or why the people you love keep hurting you? If so, check out these 5 reasons why this hurt may be happening. read more
In either case, does the hurter love the hurt? I feel the answer is no. Maybe in the past there was love but time has brought bitterness.
by These eyes 19 months ago
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