Is it fair to leave your husband/wife after he/she being diagnosed with a mental problem that...
can be managed but when the crisis time comes it is extremely overwhelming?
I think in some states you can get an annulment if you find out your spouse has a mental illness.
That being said, is it fair? I think it just depends on how bad things get and how far you are willing to go in putting up with it all.
I know someone whose spouse has psychotic episodes where they put the children and other family members in danger. I definitely think that this person needs to be institutionalized and I wouldn't think poorly at all if their spouse left them. There is only so much abuse one can take, whether it is intended or not.
If there are repeated crises, then it is not being managed. If they did not reveal the mental health diagnosis prior to your marriage, then they were not honest with you. If it was diagnosed after marriage, then you need to examine the promises/vow you made at that time.
An 'annulment' is a religious thing, not a civil-legal issue. An annulment is a religious statement that a fair marriage never took place, since one partner was not fully informed about the other partner's issues.
In my theology of marriage, I made a vow that I say 'yes' to each and every day that I wake up. And that vow is to stay faithful no matter what the health of my partner. Difficult? Of course. Impossible to do? No.
Is it fair? No. But life is not fair. And the thing is that overwhelming comes with the territory and mental illness. If you can hang in there and still get the support you need to make your life away from your mentally ill partners' worth living, then stay. If not, bail in a respectful manner.
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