Why sometimes the best Boy / Girl friend become worst Husband / Wife?

Jump to Last Post 1-4 of 4 discussions (8 posts)
  1. Sundeep Kataria profile image68
    Sundeep Katariaposted 8 years ago

    Why sometimes the best Boy / Girl friend become worst Husband / Wife?

    It is often noticed that a passionately in love couple ends up fighting with each other after marriage. Is the formula of a successful marriage different from a successful love affair?


  2. dashingscorpio profile image87
    dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

    I believe there is a major difference between dating and living together or being married. When a couple is dating they're still trying to make the most of their time together when they visit one another. This includes going out to dinners, movies, taking walks, making plans for upcoming events, and having passionate sex before having to sadly say good-bye.
    However when couples live together or get married they tend to fall into a rut. More time together tends to lead to discovering (more differences) in each other. Both people believe they are "right" as to how things should be handled. Some people have a difficult time adjusting to sharing space. The more we have of anything the less valuable it becomes. A 20 year old does not place the same value on (time) in a life as someone who is in their 70s or 80s. Abundance of time together has a way of changing one's attitude towards their mate.
    The couple never sat down to discuss what they expected from marriage. They did not create a "plan".  They made an (assumption) that they wanted and expected the same things. When they were single their finances were separate and each person could spend his or her money anyway they chose. A marriage between a spender and a saver could lead to fights.
    When there are major disagreements there is no getting in your car and driving back to your place. You have to try and resolve issues. Some people never adjust to being locked into a situation where leaving is a difficult option. When someone is unhappy they tend to take it out on the person who is closest to them.
    People can't help but reveal their "authentic selves" when you live with them. It's seeing someone at their worst that will determine whether or not you can deal with them long-term. Rarely does one see the worst of someone while simply dating.

    1. Sundeep Kataria profile image68
      Sundeep Katariaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Dear dashingscorpio, your knowledge or rather the excellent insight about human psychology and interpersonal relationship is commendable.

      I thoroughly enjoyed reading your answer.

  3. phayrelle profile image60
    phayrelleposted 8 years ago

    I think the reason for this is simple, when we first fall in love everything seems great! We don't see what is truly there. It is the blindness of love. But as time moves forward we start to realize that that " perfect mate" isn't so perfect.
    When we are alone we desperately seek someone to love is. We look to others for the fulfillment we are lacking and so we blind ourselves to warning signs and some times danger. There is a huge difference between love and a relationship. Love is a feeling and it comes without trying, a relationship has to be fashioned and worked on constantly. When we become compliant and "just roll with it", that is when it all falls apart. When we get so involved in our own lives, i.e. work and family, sometimes we leave out the other person's thoughts and feelings. We almost become selfish. When that happens, problems start to mount. And before you know it, you are crying and asking why things got so bad.

    1. Sundeep Kataria profile image68
      Sundeep Katariaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Very True. Thanks phayrelle.

  4. DDE profile image45
    DDEposted 8 years ago

    Interesting question I knew a couple who had married young and had a good  marriage until around their sixteenth year of marriage. Lots ha changed and th thing is they shared  great times together, have two grown ups, a son and a daughter and their marriage just changed with constant fights, arguments and this wouldn't stop until the man drew away from this marriage. She changed and didn't even bother to talk  their issues out instead they fought till  one of them could no longer cope with the problem. She became the worst wife, he couldn't have a pleasant conversation off-course they divorced. The main problem came about once she was an  independent person , she wanted the good life, and started telling lies to him finances became an issue, understanding changed,   she wasn't he kind of wife  or woman he once knew  they grew apart  using their differences as an excuse.

    1. Sundeep Kataria profile image68
      Sundeep Katariaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks DDE. It is a good example. Why do you think it all happened ?

    2. DDE profile image45
      DDEposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I think it all happened once she gained her independence and felt she could go about whenever she liked and did not want to be  a wife, and a good mother, shew anted her freedom.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)