My boyfriend broke up with me after 2,5 years, he says that he loves me but he wants to move on.
and when I asked him 2 or 3 times do we still have a chance he is just saying that he dont know and he cant promise me anything. but i think that he wants just time to be alone because since we broke up he is just hanging out with new male friends he met at the college drinking beer and similar stuff. (other girls are not involved) btw. we lived together but the last 3 months we were in a long distance realotionship. and he is a person who never was emotional bonded to anyone except me not even with his family or a friend.I was the only one in his life who knows everything about him.
I'm sorry to hear about this. I know this can be very traumatic. The best advice I can give you is that whatever it is he needs, it's up to him to find it. As women, we naturally analyze and try to help. We can even be maternal to our men. When it hits this point, it's best to take care of yourself. One of my childhood friends said to me during her divorce, "if he's thinking of him and I'm thinking of him, who's thinking of me?" I laughed and have heard her words in my head over and over again.
It's so true. It sounds like your doing what the rest of us have done. Your normal and there's nothing wrong with you. I've found the best way to handle this is by setting up goals for yourself. Try not to think about what he needs. That's what he's doing. Find things for you. I went a step further and decided to splurge on an hour massage. Let me tell you, no matter what happens, you will never regret that massage!
Putting yourself first isn't just good for you, it's good for him too. It's important to be strong for yourself so that if he does need you (I'm sure you'll be there) you can have the strength you and he both need. If for any reason he does not come back, at least you have set the stage for yourself to move on.
I wish you the best of luck and truly hope you at least get that massage!
his claim to continuing love and need to seperate are mutually exclusive - it is one or the other - he may feel a need to be alone but to break with you entirely forces you into similar isolation. It may be best to accept he is gone and make it clear to him that coming back isn't an option - then move on yourself - good luck whatever you choose to do
Wow, this touchy.
Anyhow, this is real life my dear, my little advice is that you try and find out why he wants to be alone. Ask yourself this question is there anything you have been doing that he doesn't approve of and you still keep doing it, stuffs that you cannot help but he doesn't like them. if you are sure there is nothing of such nature, then find out what is happening in his life. You need patient to be able to do that so i would say just keep your cool do your best and pray if you really love him and want him back.
You can never tell though. what you may find out may really hurt you.
i am also sorry to hear about your break up. It is extremely traumatic to get over a break up so you need to give yourself some time to process everything that is going on. Our first instinct after a relationship fails is to try and win our ex back, and this can be the the worst you can do under the circumstance. its a cliche but its true, if you love someone let them go. If they come back to you they will be yours forever. if they do not come back they were never yours to begin with.
so let him go, give him a chance to miss you, and h might actually come back.
thank you for your answers!
it`s been 2 weeks since we broke up and all I know is that I love him and that I want him back. He was my first real bf and I was his first real gf. I really want that he comes back to me after he is done with whatever he needs to do (spending time on his own, with the guys....) I hope that he will realize that he miss in a while....and if dont, well I hope I can force myself to stop loving him if he doesnt change his mind in a cuople of weeks or months....
So what is your question?
Your ex may love you but not be in-love with you anymore. You should stop checking up on him and worrying about what he is or isn't doing and with whom, all you are going to do is drive yourself nuts.
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