What kind of marriage can't be saved?

1. 66

   ThunderKeysposted 14 years ago

   What kind of marriage can't be saved?
   
   I would argue that as long as there is no emotional, physical or sexual abuse, and no serious drug problem, any marriage can be saved! What are your thoughts?
   
   -Duddy.
   
   

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2. 0

   reeltaulkposted 14 years ago

   It's funny you ask this question as I was not too long ago was talking to a childhood friend who is married but no longer wants to be.  It took me for a loop because I never saw someone so passionate about getting a divorce, but knew he couldn't due to the financial situation it would put him in.  For some people they marry too young, as well as to appease their parents for whatever reasons.  They also believe they have everything figured out not realizing what really lies ahead in marriage, life, responsibility and ComMitMent.  If two people aren't happy, regardless if there is no abuse of any kind, whats to save?  You can turn your "marriage" into something else for whatever reason due to denial, but to bond and connect two people who are not suppose to be together will just bring about resentment and disdain cause if it is not there, it's just not there!  Two equals a team for it is more than one, and if a mature commitment of some kind can't be established out of RespecT, aPPreciation and some kind of Genuine love...... No matter how hard you try there is NoThInG worth saving!
   
   Vonda G. Nelson

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3. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 14 years ago

   A marriage where the people involved no longer want the same things is not worth "saving".
   It creates an atmosphere where one person is trying to control/persuade the other person to change.
   
   One of the pluses that should distinguish your spouse from other people you've dated is they "get you". They love and adore you for who you are. They "natually" want to go in the same direction as you. Opposites may attract for the short-term but like attracts like for the long-term.
   
   When you put a reckless spender with a saver both people are likely to be frustrated, put a romantic with someone who values being practical more than anything else and you will see frustration. Put a couple together who are sexually incompatible and one or both people will be unhappy.
   
   The number one criteria for a successful marriage is having both people wanting the same things from their union.
   
   If one of you has to become a "different person" in order to stay together (assuming there is no abuse or additction problems) then it means you are with "the wrong person".
   It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them or you per se.
   It just means you are wrong for each other!
   Thankfully there are close to 7 Billion people on the planet.
   Odds are high there is someone who will love you as you are.
   
   Life is too short to be wasting time trying to change water into wine or fit square pegs into round holes.
   Know yourself first of all and then take your time getting to know your mate before exchanging vows.

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4. 95

   prairieprincessposted 14 years ago

   I agree that most marriages can be saved, if there is no abuse. As well, I would add that there has not been an abandonment (one person leaving, and not allowing any communication) or adultery (unless true repentance has taken place.)
   
   My marriage was on the rocks, and it was through prayer, counselling, and some good books that we were blessed to turn it around.
   
   Take care.

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5. 0

   Jussara Scottonposted 14 years ago

   If you don't have respect, admiration and patience, it's difficult to sustain or save a marriage.
   A friend told me that when she got married the priest told her: "To have a successful marriage you'll need three things: patience, patience and patience. "
   We need to hear what the other has to tell us. Changing places with your partner and make an effort to see from his/her point of view its a good start to save your marriage.
   Now, if one is not willing to hear or speak, there's no salvation.

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6. 59

   sickdubposted 11 years ago

   when the people no longer want to try, or their heart just isn't in it. sometimes it is actually better to walk away.

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