What can you do when your fiance' is not a planner and you are very structured?
The planner never knows what they are doing until the last minute. This situation causes stress
Maybe both people could learn the good points about the other person's situation... I would love to find out how NOT to be a planner (yes, really!).
So maybe each person finding out the good points about the other person's approach (and how to make each approach work well in practice) might help. Maybe each person trying the other one's way for a week might help! (well, maybe test this on different weeks actually, so you are both planners one week and both unstructured another week, and see how it works out for you as a couple). Ask each other what you liked and didn't like.... see you can see I'm a planner if I'm suggesting you PLAN to be UNSTRUCTURED, lol. Still, the approach may work.
You have to decide if you can love and accept them for who they are. If the answer is "no" then you have selected the wrong life partner for yourself.
It's been said, "Women marry men hoping they will change overtime and Men marry women hoping they will never change."
Maybe both are being "unrealistic" however in my opinion you are better off in the "long run" marrying someone who is more like you than not like you. People change when THEY want to change. The only person we can really control is ourselves.
i think dashingscorpio has hit the nail firmly on the head!!!
Thanks for the input. The ideas are excellent. Maybe opposites attract. Someone said if you look at couples, one is usually a planner - a doer - and one is not. Then others say that you need to be alike. Great answers!!!
If you are structured you are an on time person, do not like to be late, like a clean house and like order. he sounds like a person who is the opposite of you. If un-resolved this could lead to issues in your relationship.
However if he does not wish to be a part of planning you may be asking too much. Don't show him ten types of flowers, narrow it down to two and they will choose. Men do not like to have to have lots of choices, and the moment he does not pick the one you really like you get mad.
Give him simple choices and let hem decide and you stick to it. He will not want to decide every thing so you do that, he will not care. Let him pick the tux, the food, two at a time, not in the same day. And Lets play a game, like if you were deciding the menu for the wedding, ask the question when cooking , say would you like Chicken, or Beef tonight, ( and really be cooking ) what ever he decides will be your choice for the wedding. He was involved but he did not have to interupt his mental to make a decision. In other words some men think this is girly stuff you should do with your girls and your mom, he could care less, but it means something to you so you have to get your answers by going in the back door. I hope this helps
by Penny Godfirnon 4 years ago
Where is the structure??????Am I the only one who is highly structured and feels like I am living in a very lax unstructured world?
by Anish Patel 3 years ago
What is 'Big Data?'
by Audrey Selig 6 years ago
If you are a planner, can you have a serious relationship or a marriage with a non-planner?One person wants to play it be ear and you like to plan everything ahead of time. Any ideas?
by amithak50 6 years ago
I had an article that was published but Now the hubpages team say that it is unstructured ,I don't get the meaning here ,I want to request the hubpages team if they introduce where we are going wrong than it would be great help to fix the issue instantly because most of the times ,we don't...
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