What would you do about a rude guest?
I'm often amazed when I invte a friend into my home only to be treated rudely. I'm never quite sure what do about it. I try to be polite. If they continue, I usually let them know that their behavior is upsetting, but what if they still continue in this manner? What if they make excuses? I know the sort of things I would do, but I'd love to hear what others have done, especially if it pertains to guests complaining about the food because it's vegetarian or something else they're not used to.
I still have some of my NY attitude, but I deliver it with a smile. I have had friends that didn't like my outfit or something and I always said with a genuine smile, Great! go buy me a new one. And I really mean it. I am not rude or sarcastic. I don't take offense to much. If they don't like your food, just let them know to bring the food on future visits.
I got the skinny comment a lot and it used to get me loads of lunches when I worked! Eventually they learned to keep their loose change (2 cents) and that I eat just fine but am genetically small.
I would put the fear of god into them. that's what I would do.
I wouldn't ask them back again. I would endure whatever complaints they had for the specific visit, and then I would never extend another invitation. This isn't to say I would sever all ties. I just wouldn't want to host them in my home.
I've had this happen to me, but not very often. I would make a comment toward the effect that whatever they are complaining about could be worse (with the implication that they should be thankful it isn't!). e.g. "Yes, I know there is a big pile of folded laundry on the spare table. You should have seen how it looked before it was all folded!" or "You don't like my cookies? Oh well. Actually I thought I was doing really well by providing dessert!"
i.e. turn anything bad they say into a light-hearted pat-on-the-back for yourself. If nothing else, this formula may wear them down and make them think before they speak next time.
If they don't get the message, then I'd do what lmarsh suggests and only see them on neutral territory (although it's harder when it's family).
If it's someone you *really* can't avoid seeing, like your in-laws, then just stick with the formula, it will also make you feel better by allowing you to acknowledge what you have accomplished instead of what you haven't, while still keeping things upbeat and lighthearted.
If there's a real and total impasse (and if you really have to be around these people), you can say something to the effect of that this is the way you do things in your house, but if they feel it's not compatible to them, then maybe it's best if you meet elsewhere next time. This way it lets you stand up for yourself and show you're not going to be pushed around.... but in a respectful and non-combative way.
If the person is truly rude and consistently so, and you have to see them more than once or twice a year, then this would be a time to bring up the problem directly to them, without bothering with my diplomatic tactics above. If you lose the friendship over this, then so be it - trust me, it won't be a big loss at your end!
depends on the freind and the situation i would never be rude to them back unless i was realy offeneded by there words or actions i would poilety tell them its time to leave or just let them know some how that i will not be disrespected in my own home
I think It's always important to treat ones' guests as politely as possible. I would definately not loose my temper simply because the other person can always use this against one. But one thing is for sure, they'll never set foot in my house again.
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