Isn't it selfish to want to have children, when you're diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder?
Bipolar Disorder is a serious mental disease. You can't cure it. You can find a way to live with it. It's very likely, you will pass it on to your children. I decided for a sterilization when I was 30 and never regretted this decision.
I'm sure I have enough on my hands, taking care of myself and my stability.
My soon to be Ex Daughter-in-law is Bi-Polar and the havoc she has wreaked in my Son’s and their three children’s life makes me think you made a wise decision. I am not sure what caused the Maniac or Depressive episodes but she seemed to be on one or another of the plains for the last couple of years and it was probably due to not taking her meds and alcohol abuse but I also wonder if it was the stress of parental obligations that brought her to that state.
I am hoping the stats I read are correct and the risk to the children of one Bi polar parent contracting the disorder is just 5% and my grandchildren have a 95% chance of avoiding it.
With having family members that have some mental disorders, I have seen that all disorders have different levels. It depends on their level on how I view if they are being selfish or not. Some people don't have it as bad as others and can handle it with help (medicines and therapy). I don't think they are being selfish for wanting to have kids. Now I find it selfish for the ones that know that they can't handle and provide for a child, much less themselves.
Now the passing of a disorder, most disorders and diseases are not at a 100% of being passed down, you could have five kids and only have one that has it. You could have a healthy family and out of no where one of the kids has a disease that's never been in the family. Having kids is a risk no matter if disease/disorders play a role.
The parental obligations must be hard for anyone. They can be very stressfull. Bipolar people learn how to avoid stress. Not taking meds and combining this with alcohol, makes it absolutely easier, to get maniacal or depressed.
I never did drugs or alcohol, so that made my Bipolar Disorder a whole less complicated. I did ruin lots of friendships and relationships when I was still searching for the right medication and looking for the right therapy.
Being Bipolar made me understand much later in life, that I hurt and damaged people I loved, in a horrible and effective way. I hope things get better over time for your son and his children. I hope the mother of his children, finds her way back to good medication and effective therapy.
My psychiatrist told me that my first child, would risk 25% of inheriting my Bipolar Disorder. Between the age of 20 and 30 he/she, could develop the first real episode.
After what I've been through, not even 5 % would be worth taking that risk. Being a stable and responsible girlfriend is more than enough for me:-)
diabetes, heart disease, obesity, - there are a million other genetic disorders - they're even saying alcoholism, obsessive-compulsive disorder, learning disabilities, breast and other kinds of cancer, can also have genetic markers. When we start deciding who should and should not have children based on the possibility of whether they may or may pass on a disability or disorder or condition or bear other than "perfect: genetic children - we are setting a precedence; a dangerous precedence. There are already those who have the fetus screened for certain genetic abnormalities within the first few weeks of pregnancy in order to decide whether or not to keep the baby. Who are we to pass judgment on every other Bipolar woman out there who can manage to have a family, keep on her medication and manage just fine in the world. It is not selfish for anyone to reproduce, just the opposite, when providing a loving home and family to a child. Not every woman diagnosed with bipolar disorder is alike, should then it be selfish of any man to not be sterilized who is also diagnosed? What about schizophrenia and psychosis? I am also bipolar, so I am not speaking as if I don't understand how horrible it is to have your life just suddenly spin out of control and trying to keep yourself stable. But it takes a village to raise a child, and if I had chosen that route, it would have been with a strong family in place - husband, family, aunts, uncles, cousins - like every other child. There are lots of things out there you can't cure and you can't shelter children from every thing in life, its wrong to teach a child that only the perfect have a place in this world - when perfect doesn't exist. Its those who choose to pass judgment on others - this is a world where the strong survive. And I think that we who have to live with this Bipolar disorder are among the strongest out there every time we don't break down and take responsibility for our own healthy outlook. I will not give in to having people tell me what I can and cannot do based on a disorder.
This idea of creating a perfect human race has already been attempted and failed, its what started WWII.
This hub is written to answer the question: "Isn't it selfish to want to have children, when you're diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder?"
As a parent with bipolar disorder, I can understand both sides of this issue. With one daughter grown and living... read more
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