How do you change a bad habit or character in an adult

1. 60

   sir_tallestposted 13 years ago

   How do you change a bad habit or character in an adult
   
   if you notice a bad behavior or character in a friend and you want to help change the person....what can you do

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2. 71

   Kathleen Cochranposted 13 years ago

   Let them reap the consequences of their actions.  Don't intercede.  Don't smooth things over.  Let them take the hit.  It's hard to do, and I usually don't.  But adults have been the way they are for a long time.  It's hard to change - them and us.

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3. 61

   MellyMooposted 13 years ago

   Nothing.  You can only change yourself.  Hopefully, the person will copy you in your example, but if they don't and the behaviour is adversely affecting you, maybe it is time to change pathways

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4. 61

   fpherj48posted 13 years ago

   First things first.  How much co-operation can you expect from the adult with the bad habit?  Going with "a minimal amount but open to advice......." I'd say to give it a try.  I'll go further and suppose the habit is ....constantly interrupting someone who is speaking.  Very annoying habit, agree?  With patience and genuine concern, help the adult recognize that he/she truly has this habit and  it is apparent it has caused them some back lash.  Give this person a few actual incidents when, where and with whom they have exposed this unacceptable behavior.  As you walk them through, it would be important to ask them how they feel they might react, were they the person being continually interrupted.  I think it may help quite a bit to offer to go through a role-playing scenario, one on one and spend some time discussing it afterward.  No one enjoys hearing about a character flaw they may have and it's no fun pointing it out either.  Being considerate and respectful should make this more comfortable for both of you.

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5. 70

   dashingscorpioposted 13 years ago

   It's not your job to change adults. The only person you have control over is yourself. However if your friend asks you for help you can make some suggestions. Bottom line is "People change when they want to change!"

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6. 60

   OutsideTheLinesposted 13 years ago

   Permanent change only comes from within yourself. If you don't want to do it then the change will be temporary to make someone else happy and not yourself.

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7. 0

   HERBERT ubaldoposted 13 years ago

   You can not change the bad habit of an adult, they are the one who can only change it. Character is owned by anyone..

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