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Why do families fail to mention ex spouses in obituaries when children exist fro

  1. brakel2 profile image80
    brakel2posted 6 years ago

    Why do families fail to mention ex spouses in obituaries when children exist from  union with dec?

  2. Kim Cantrell profile image60
    Kim Cantrellposted 6 years ago

    Not to sound rude, as that is not my intent, but why should they?  The ex-spouse is just that:  an EX.  Very, very few people who divorce did so because the relationship was good; it was intended to sever the ties.  While they may have mutual children, the marriage is over and thus the status as "survived by" or "proceeded in death by" is inappropriate as applied to an ex-spouse. 

    I mean, the children didn't keep the ties that bind in life so why should they in death?

    Many of those deceased will also have a new spouse.  To list an ex-spouse could be an insult. 

    Bottom line, it's really a matter of personal choice (if arrangements are made previously) or those surviving, but there is no room for an ex's input.

    (Really, please don't take this as rude.  There just seems to be no nice way to say this. lol)

  3. YvetteParker profile image75
    YvetteParkerposted 6 years ago

    I agree with Kim's answer in that usually an ex spouse has moved on, and in most cases, one or both exes have remarried. The life and times that they shared together are no more.

    I don't believe it is disrespectful not to include an ex spouse in an obituary. I am divorced. My ex and I have children together. That's just it; we will always have children in common. Even though our bonds have been broken, his with his children will never be.

    If he should die before I do, I would not wish to be listed in his obituary. It's nothing personal against him and certainly not any unforgiveness; I just don't see the point of it.

  4. mjwilliamson profile image60
    mjwilliamsonposted 6 years ago

    My answer really isn't much differnt. Obituaries provide readers with a list of family members...an ex is not family. What would be written exactly? "My ex-husband..." "My children's father..." "The guy I thought I would spend the rest of my life with but didn't..."

  5. brakel2 profile image80
    brakel2posted 6 years ago

    Thanks for the great answers. I asked the question as two men whose ex-wives died, came cross country to attend the funerals to support their adult children. I thought their names should be in the obituaries. Both were problems when it came to child support. So I guess you may be right, that their names should not be there.